lyskiss

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lyskiss

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 922
  • Number of comments : 33
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

About lyskiss : Goal in life: to ride a camel.

lyskiss's page activity

Visits<b>Scrambled</b> - the 03/31/2015 at 9:41am<b>BlueAmaryllis</b> - the 02/14/2015 at 4:45am<b>Colorcoded</b> - the 09/23/2014 at 2:39am<b>ksadhera</b> - the 08/27/2014 at 8:23pm<b>justjeffo7</b> - the 08/20/2014 at 12:14am<b>ThriceWritten</b> - the 03/22/2014 at 8:27pm<b>aherne</b> - the 12/31/2013 at 11:28pm<b>xDochx</b> - the 10/07/2013 at 7:30pm<b>Porcei</b> - the 03/26/2013 at 4:25am<b>wilks311</b> - the 02/03/2013 at 11:59am<b>superrocket19</b> - the 01/20/2013 at 12:05am<b>yellowchocobo</b> - the 01/11/2013 at 4:39pm<b>hawright</b> - the 01/11/2013 at 6:32am<b>pistolpete85</b> - the 01/02/2013 at 6:23pm

lyskiss's FML badges

Happy Ending

Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”

I NEED to know!

You went as far as reading the terms of use. You’re a total FML completist.

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

See all of lyskiss's badges

lyskiss's favorite FMLs

Today, I saw my upstairs neighbor outside getting the mail. She asked how my day was, and then apologized that the sound of her baby's crying through the walls kept me up last night. Apparently she heard me when I yelled at 2am for her fucking demon spawn to shut up. FML

by Deborah / 10/27/2011 at 2:41am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, a neo-Nazi stopped me and commented on my blue eyes and blonde hair. He went on to explain that I could be "pure", and should follow him and other Aryans in the campaign to eliminate Jews, and other "abominations". Good thing he didn't see the Star of David necklace around my neck. FML

by KaySchrages92 / 10/24/2011 at 9:46pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was just about to sit down to watch my favorite TV show when my dog jumped over the back of my couch, landed on my head and tried to jump through the window. I now have concussion and a window to replace, all because of a bird. FML

by Mr.P / 10/21/2011 at 11:35am / United States (Minnesota) / Animals

Today, I was given an entire week of detention for planking on my school desk. FML

by planking champion / 10/17/2011 at 6:05pm / United States (North Dakota) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was struggling to cycle up a steep hill. A guy heading past me on a scooter said I'd lost something. I stopped and looked back. Seeing nothing, I asked him what I lost. He replied, "Your momentum!" FML

by adieuvelib / 10/14/2011 at 9:53pm / France / Miscellaneous

Today, I was on a drive with my uncle. We saw a dead deer on the side of the road and expressed our pity for it. Then a squirrel runs across the road and my uncle swerves toward the squirrel, laughing hysterically and yelling, "Run rodent run." FML

by Anonymous / 10/12/2011 at 1:14am / United States (Virginia) / Animals

Today, I was suspended from work. Some lady went to the manager and told them that I was stalking her, all because I would kindly greet her everyday at the grocery store. I'm the cashier. FML

by hazlanz216 / 10/06/2011 at 6:28pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Work

Today, I was using the toilet and decided to check out some FMLs. One made me laugh out loud as my room-mate was passing by the bathroom. He now tells everyone my penis is so small it makes even me laugh every time I see it. FML

by Anonymous / 10/06/2011 at 12:17pm / Canada / Intimacy

Today, I was playing video games at 2am. My guinea pig started squealing at me, and wouldn't stop until I turned out the lights and got into bed. I'm 20 years old, and I've let a rodent dictate my bedtime. FML

by Beeisc00l / 10/05/2011 at 2:58pm / Reserved / Animals

Today, in an incredibly busy shopping center bathroom with my 5 year-old niece, I was squatting over the toilet seat to avoid germs. My niece then says at the top of her voice, "Auntie, why are you sitting like a kangaroo?" I'd say the whole room pissed their pants laughing. FML

by Pissed / 10/05/2011 at 11:29am / Australia / Kids

Today, my six-year-old got in an argument with my four-year-old. I told them to go outside. The next thing I know, my son was standing in front of his sister's burning Barbie's Malibu Dream House, singing "Burn Baby Burn" and cackling madly. FML

by TraumatizedMother / 10/02/2011 at 3:27am / United States (New York) / Kids

Today, as I was walking home from school with my guy friends, my dad pulled up by the sidewalk, offered me a handful of dollar bills and said, "Get in, baby." Only after we drove away and he started laughing did I realize I'll probably never hear the end of this at school. FML

by Anonymous / 09/30/2011 at 10:01pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, after being in the UK for 2 months, I learned that when saying, "I'm about to blow off and kill someone", to the British "blow off" means "fart." This was pointed out to me in an open-space office after a particularly loud rant. FML

by AngerManagement / 09/29/2011 at 4:04am / United Kingdom / Work

Today, my co-workers agreed that I was the one causing the elevator to be over its weight limit. When I protested, saying that I only weigh around 150 pounds, one asked me if that included the weight of my wheelchair. They made me get out. FML

by Anonymous / 09/29/2011 at 3:34am / United Kingdom / Work

Today, I was expecting my period. To avoid the embarrassment of everyone in the office finding out, instead of putting tampons in my bag, I hid one in my bra. It fell out while I was coming back from lunch. I am now known to all as "The Tampon Dispenser". FML

by Anonymous / 09/22/2011 at 9:55am / Australia (Queensland) / Miscellaneous