Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
About lymyabean : I like chicken nuggets. Feel free to message me or kik me if you wanna talk! Username is lymyabean
Who’s the fairest of them all?
This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
Keen reader – Level: master ninja
You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Today, feeling the need to spice things up in our sex life, I dressed up in my husband's navy uniform jacket, hat, and a pair of heels. When he came into the room, he took one look at me and started laughing uncontrollably. FML
Today, I attended a cooking class with my co-workers. As the chef prepared to cut up a load of onions for his dish, he warned us to be ready for the "typical reactions". Everyone teared up. Meanwhile, I popped a boner. So much for typical. FML
Today, my dad sat me down for the sex talk, except it wasn't really a talk, but rather him making me watch a hardcore porn video with him as he commented on what the actors were doing. I had to listen to all this and ignore his obvious erection for almost an hour. FML
Today, while I was out shopping, a fairly hideous-looking woman stormed up to me and accused me of ogling her, saying, "As if I'd ever date you!" Less than a minute later, she'd somehow managed to bully me into falsely admitting to it and apologizing. FML
Today, the elevator got stuck in between floor 4 and 5 at my doctors office. I had been having violent diarrhea. It was the reason I was at the doctor. Elevator was stuck for 35 minutes. During that time, I diarrhea'd in my pants twice. There were seven other people in the elevator. FML
Friday 6 December 2013