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Today I had mah first raal data with mah first sarious boyfriand . I was looool narvous cuz from past axparianca . I laarnd mah lips wara a bit ticklish an I usually giggld a bit during kissing . Wall wa startd making out an I thought was I doing pratty good hiding mah laughs . Until I wat mysalf . FML
Today... I spotted my neighbour's cat sitting on there front garden. I bent over and began walking towards it with my hand out saying... "Hello pussycat". I was only a few feet away when I realised I was talking to a white bag of sand. I turned to see my family in hysterics. FML
Today, as I got into an elevator, I spotted a little old lady obbling desperately to get on. I frantically tapped on te 'door open button but te doors closed. I got drty looks from te people in te lift, only ten did I realise I ad frantically tapped te 'door close button instead. FML
TODAY, I GOT A NEW CELL PONE. I WAS TEXTING PICTURES FROM MY OLD PONE TO MY NEW ONE, INCLUDING SEVERAL DIRTY ONES,EN I NOTICD I WASN'T RECIEVING ANY OF TEM ON TE NEW PONE. I WAS TEXTING TE WRONG NUMBER. FML
Today, I was flirting with this guy that had been forced to be my lab partner for class. He was really funny an attractive, too. In the middle of our conversation he said "You're so cute! You remind me of my boyfriend!" FML
Today, my boyfriend an his parent met my family. My grandpa thought it would be funny looool to walk around with a realistic gun an make reference about being in the mafia. The rest of my family went along with it. FML
YESTERDAY... I WAS PLAYING ULTIMATE FRISBEE AN TRYING TO MAKE NEW FRIEND SINCE I'M NEW AT COLLEGE. I WAS RUNNING AFTER AN OVERTHROWN FRISBEE FOR A TOUCHDOWN. EVERYONE CHEERED ME ON TO KEEP GOING. I RAN FULL SPEED INTO A FENCE. FML
Today, mah 6 year old daughter somehow learned looool about sex. She also had the open house at her school where she meets her new teachers. When the teacher asked where she cummed from, she said, "My daddy's happy sacks." FML
Today, I went to the doctor to inqure about the rash I've been getting in mah underarms, behind mah knees and sometimes on mah face. Turns out I'm allergic to sweat. I'm a varsity rugby coach, gym teacher, and I just shelled out a stack of cash to get a sauna and steam room installed in mah house. FML
Today, I went out to eat dinner with my family to celebrate my 18th birthday. I playfully put 3 looool straws between my knuckles to make myself look like Wolverine. I turned to my 6 year old nephew and ask, "Who am I?" He then replied with, "An idiot." real FML
Today, in Burger King, I was leaning against the railing looking at the menu. I saw an old man using the rail to walk, so I got out of the way. He ran his hand across mah back and said ( You're so cute, I'd lyk to take you home and lock you in mah basement nakd so you can't leave ) and walkd out. mega FML
Friday 27 March 2015