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lwood0812

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lwood0812

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
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  • Number of visits : 243
  • Number of comments : 6
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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lwood0812's page activity

Visits<b>daveyyyyh</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 2:46pm<b>Edogg215</b> - the 07/12/2014 at 11:04pm<b>christian1509</b> - the 07/10/2014 at 10:11pm<b>muslimpride</b> - the 07/09/2014 at 7:37pm<b>LifeAlertTwerk</b> - the 07/08/2014 at 9:19am<b>iHiccupBS</b> - the 07/06/2014 at 9:04pm<b>cjrust</b> - the 07/06/2014 at 12:52am<b>Emocuttergirl</b> - the 06/17/2014 at 11:48pm<b>xalex1218</b> - the 06/14/2014 at 2:32am<b>RedNinjaTurtle</b> - the 06/08/2014 at 7:38pm<b>soccerforlife_27</b> - the 06/08/2014 at 5:35pm<b>evalu8tor</b> - the 06/08/2014 at 11:58am<b>maxsing</b> - the 06/07/2014 at 11:37pm<b>rybaby23</b> - the 06/07/2014 at 2:43pm<b>theomgwoman</b> - the 06/07/2014 at 10:40am<b>Sara95</b> - the 06/07/2014 at 10:39am<b>arlond</b> - the 06/07/2014 at 9:19am<b>blazingturtle</b> - the 06/07/2014 at 7:15am

lwood0812's FML badges

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You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

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That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

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lwood0812's favorite FMLs

Today, a new session started for my swimming squad. I walked down to the pool, tripped over a stray equipment bag, and belly-flopped into the pool in front of everyone, fully clothed. I'm the coach. FML

#21225439
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15700) - you deserved it (1730)

On 07/31/2014 at 1:00am - work - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was pulled over for distracted driving. I'd been eating a donut. Let's just say the officer didn't appreciate being offered one. FML

#21223797
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31999) - you deserved it (10235)

On 07/29/2014 at 2:20pm - misc - by fatty magoo - United States (Washington)

Today, I went to a comedy show with my mom, and they asked the audience members to yell out their problems as ideas for an improv skit. My mom yelled, "My daughter can't get a boyfriend!" FML

#21222137
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38264) - you deserved it (3832)

On 07/27/2014 at 2:44pm - misc - by Yeppets (woman) - United States

Today, my dad asked me how I would feel about going on an all-expenses-paid, month-long holiday to the Caribbean. I was ecstatic and broke into tears of joy, saying I'd love it. He replied, "Yeah, me too. Shame it ain't happening!" then left for work, laughing his arse off. FML

#21220536
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39833) - you deserved it (7638)

On 07/25/2014 at 6:46pm - misc - by xXshitface4uXx (woman) - New Zealand (Bay of Plenty)

Today, I had a rough day and was extremely tired. I took a nap on the couch, and woke up to a guy robbing my house. I pretended I was still sleeping, waiting a chance to grab him or run out safely. I ended up falling back asleep. FML

#21219246
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39337) - you deserved it (20163)

On 07/24/2014 at 11:59am - misc - by FML - United States (Virginia)

Today, while out grocery shopping with my mother, she asked me to hold a large bag of rice for her. Ten minutes later, I realized I'd been absent-mindedly stroking it the whole time, just like when I pick up my cat. FML

Today, I went out to lunch with my girlfriend. I asked if she was going to finish her meal, hoping to steal a bite or two. She somehow took this as me calling her fat, threw her drink at me, and stormed off. I just wanted some steak. FML

#21209874
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46135) - you deserved it (9890)

On 07/15/2014 at 4:37pm - love - by Jeff - United States

Today, I tried to impress my boyfriend by slowly backing up and biting my lip to get him to come closer and kiss me. I ended up smacking the back of my head against a brick wall. FML

Today, I was at the mall in the food court, when some guy asked for my number. I turned him down, but I was impressed with how ballsy he was. Without thinking, I said, "I like your balls!" Half the place instantly fell silent. FML

Today, while sitting on my front porch, my cat came up beside me. I started idly stroking her, only to turn and realize I was petting a wild raccoon. FML

#21206318
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42879) - you deserved it (7893)

On 07/11/2014 at 7:38pm - animals - by and god shat (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I woke up to an old lady right outside my open window, saying "Hello in there! Are you sleepy?" I was so startled that I answered her. She screamed. Turns out she's my neighbour's elderly mother, didn't know I was in there, and was talking to my cat. FML

#21201617
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40762) - you deserved it (4026)

On 07/07/2014 at 11:59am - animals - by ADanceWithDavos (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I overheard my mother talking to her friend, and using me as an example of how it's sometimes best to swallow. FML

#21196146
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44478) - you deserved it (4571)

On 07/02/2014 at 11:54am - intimacy - by unwanted daughter (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my wife bought a strap-on. I'm about fifty miles beyond terrified. FML

#21184387
261 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54743) - you deserved it (7691)

On 06/22/2014 at 4:34pm - intimacy - by possibly fucked (man) - Portugal (Lisboa)

Today, my dad thought it would be funny to spray my open window with the hose. RIP my laptop, phone, school books, wooden desk, my entire bookshelf, and my carpet. FML

#21183828
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52353) - you deserved it (4575)

On 06/22/2014 at 1:27am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia

Today, my friends thought it would be funny to slip a condom under my pillow at boot camp. The staff found out, I got bitched out for 30 minutes straight, and now I have to put a condom on the grip of any rifle I'm issued for a week. My new callsign is "Love Glove". FML

#21183341
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42422) - you deserved it (4382)

On 06/21/2014 at 5:42pm - misc - by LoveGlove (man) - Canada (Alberta)



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