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lwood0812

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lwood0812

3Fucked!

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  • Number of visits : 1842
  • Number of comments : 8
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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lwood0812's page activity

Visits<b>trisshpham</b> - the 06/25/2015 at 6:19pm<b>CODplayer4lyfe</b> - the 06/07/2015 at 5:48pm<b>Edogg215</b> - the 05/08/2015 at 2:07pm<b>dakatabg</b> - the 05/08/2015 at 1:35am<b>zcjohnson</b> - the 05/03/2015 at 11:19am<b>tweak2011</b> - the 05/02/2015 at 12:47am<b>srinathmatti</b> - the 05/01/2015 at 6:45am<b>the_aspect</b> - the 04/30/2015 at 2:11pm<b>Monday_funday</b> - the 04/30/2015 at 1:27pm<b>Sethan01</b> - the 02/27/2015 at 1:04am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 01/22/2015 at 8:10pm<b>Damafia</b> - the 01/21/2015 at 2:03pm<b>seninaa</b> - the 11/22/2014 at 2:33pm<b>j_mitchell25</b> - the 11/22/2014 at 1:29pm<b>idkwhatlifeis</b> - the 10/28/2014 at 9:38pm<b>robertd73</b> - the 09/25/2014 at 12:22am<b>gingerJ</b> - the 09/20/2014 at 10:38am<b>kingteefteef</b> - the 08/25/2014 at 1:53pm

Fucked!<b>dakatabg</b> - the 04/30/2015 at 5:47pm<b>Edogg215</b> - the 11/03/2014 at 11:05pm<b>gingerJ</b> - the 09/20/2014 at 4:38pm

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lwood0812's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend and I somehow got into the conversation of what the weirdest thing we have ever found in food was. She said she found paper in her fortune cookie; she was serious. FML

#21406274
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28613) - you deserved it (2501)

On 05/07/2015 at 3:52pm - misc - by Random737193 - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my mom announced my pregnancy to the entire family via Facebook with the post, "Just went from a MILF to a GILF in one moment of unprotected sex." FML

#21401833
102 comments

Today, I kept hearing a child creepily giggling in my living room. I couldn't sleep and got so scared that I started considering hiring an exorcist. Long story short: be careful if you have Bluetooth speakers, because your dickhead neighbor might hack them and start fucking with you. FML

#21401745
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33862) - you deserved it (4527)

On 04/29/2015 at 1:42pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my sister's kitten walked away from his litter box, jumped onto the table, looked me dead in the eyes, then peed directly onto my laptop. FML

#21401720
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29348) - you deserved it (2763)

On 04/29/2015 at 12:06pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - South Africa (KwaZulu-Natal)

Today, I made a speech in front of my entire graduating class and their families, despite my fear of public speaking. It seemed to go well and I got a big round of applause at the end. Then I panicked and instead of waving, I lifted my arm straight out in a Hitler salute. FML

#21379710
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32917) - you deserved it (6579)

On 03/22/2015 at 8:32pm - misc - by oooooops (man) - United States

Today, my maths class and I had to sit through a slideshow of photos of our teacher's cat. The cat's name is Mr Cat. FML

#21376941
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (218) - you deserved it (26)

On 03/18/2015 at 5:44am - misc - by Anonymous - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I accidentally ate a cat treat instead of a cinnamon glazed pecan. I thought it must have been burnt by the way it tasted, so ate a few more before I figured out my mistake and spat them out. FML

#21376174
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22628) - you deserved it (12324)

On 03/17/2015 at 3:14am - animals - by ilovecharliesheen (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, at Walmart, I overheard a lady telling a teenage girl that the secret to keeping a guy for life is giving him anal, but that it's important to clean your "shitter" beforehand. I can't believe these kinds of sick freaks actually exist. FML

#21375051
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29462) - you deserved it (7902)

On 03/15/2015 at 1:54pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I jokingly sent my girlfriend a link to an article about giving better head. She didn't think it was funny, and has since sent me numerous articles about the female orgasm, and I just got a link to the Wikipedia article about the clitoris. FML

#21372045
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (319) - you deserved it (48605)

On 03/10/2015 at 7:15pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, at a big family dinner, my dad said, "Pfff, gays don't have it hard at all. The things a guy has to do for sex with a girl? Crazy. All a gay guy has to do for sex is become an altar boy!" My husband's side of the family is very religious, and all hell quickly broke loose. FML

#21369938
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32657) - you deserved it (3046)

On 03/07/2015 at 1:42pm - misc - by killme (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my son was at a birthday party. After eating a plate of cake, he loudly asked the birthday boy's mum if he could have sloppy seconds. I don't know where he heard that phrase, but the other kids' parents shot me very dirty looks. FML

#21369892
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28043) - you deserved it (2973)

On 03/07/2015 at 11:59am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I got a haircut. The guy quickly cut off most of the hair above my forehead. When I angrily asked him what he was doing, he said, "Quitting." FML

#21369589
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35422) - you deserved it (2287)

On 03/06/2015 at 10:22pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I went to the doctor, because I've been having stomach pains and nausea for weeks. He ended up gravely telling me I'm pregnant. I freaked out and panicked about what my parents would say. Then his laughter reminded me that I'm a guy. A really stupid one. FML

#21367918
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69) - you deserved it (160)

On 03/04/2015 at 10:03am - health - by actually just constipated.. and stupid - Tunisia

Today, I hit my head on the steering wheel when I sneezed. I managed to honk the horn and the guy next to me couldn't stop laughing. FML

#21361311
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32384) - you deserved it (4783)

On 02/22/2015 at 8:41pm - misc - by headache - United States

Today, my youngest daughter finally started using the toilet on her own. That is, until her older sister showed her the South Park episode where someone gets their intestines sucked out by flushing the toilet. Now she won't go anywhere near the bathroom. FML

#21355782
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32420) - you deserved it (3308)

On 02/14/2015 at 4:46am - kids - by Investing in Toilet Seatbelts - United States (Nevada)



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