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lwood0812

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lwood0812

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
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  • Number of visits : 233
  • Number of comments : 6
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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lwood0812's page activity

Visits<b>daveyyyyh</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 2:46pm<b>Edogg215</b> - the 07/12/2014 at 11:04pm<b>christian1509</b> - the 07/10/2014 at 10:11pm<b>muslimpride</b> - the 07/09/2014 at 7:37pm<b>LifeAlertTwerk</b> - the 07/08/2014 at 9:19am<b>iHiccupBS</b> - the 07/06/2014 at 9:04pm<b>cjrust</b> - the 07/06/2014 at 12:52am<b>Emocuttergirl</b> - the 06/17/2014 at 11:48pm<b>xalex1218</b> - the 06/14/2014 at 2:32am<b>RedNinjaTurtle</b> - the 06/08/2014 at 7:38pm<b>soccerforlife_27</b> - the 06/08/2014 at 5:35pm<b>evalu8tor</b> - the 06/08/2014 at 11:58am<b>maxsing</b> - the 06/07/2014 at 11:37pm<b>rybaby23</b> - the 06/07/2014 at 2:43pm<b>theomgwoman</b> - the 06/07/2014 at 10:40am<b>Sara95</b> - the 06/07/2014 at 10:39am<b>arlond</b> - the 06/07/2014 at 9:19am<b>blazingturtle</b> - the 06/07/2014 at 7:15am

lwood0812's FML badges

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

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lwood0812's favorite FMLs

Today, while out grocery shopping with my mother, she asked me to hold a large bag of rice for her. Ten minutes later, I realized I'd been absent-mindedly stroking it the whole time, just like when I pick up my cat. FML

Today, I went out to lunch with my girlfriend. I asked if she was going to finish her meal, hoping to steal a bite or two. She somehow took this as me calling her fat, threw her drink at me, and stormed off. I just wanted some steak. FML

#21209874
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44225) - you deserved it (9610)

On 07/15/2014 at 4:37pm - love - by Jeff - United States

Today, I tried to impress my boyfriend by slowly backing up and biting my lip to get him to come closer and kiss me. I ended up smacking the back of my head against a brick wall. FML

Today, I was at the mall in the food court, when some guy asked for my number. I turned him down, but I was impressed with how ballsy he was. Without thinking, I said, "I like your balls!" Half the place instantly fell silent. FML

Today, while sitting on my front porch, my cat came up beside me. I started idly stroking her, only to turn and realize I was petting a wild raccoon. FML

#21206318
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39466) - you deserved it (7675)

On 07/11/2014 at 7:38pm - animals - by and god shat (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I woke up to an old lady right outside my open window, saying "Hello in there! Are you sleepy?" I was so startled that I answered her. She screamed. Turns out she's my neighbour's elderly mother, didn't know I was in there, and was talking to my cat. FML

#21201617
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40325) - you deserved it (3786)

On 07/07/2014 at 11:59am - animals - by ADanceWithDavos (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I overheard my mother talking to her friend, and using me as an example of how it's sometimes best to swallow. FML

#21196146
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43509) - you deserved it (4127)

On 07/02/2014 at 11:54am - intimacy - by unwanted daughter (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my wife bought a strap-on. I'm about fifty miles beyond terrified. FML

#21184387
261 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53809) - you deserved it (7144)

On 06/22/2014 at 4:34pm - intimacy - by possibly fucked (man) - Portugal (Lisboa)

Today, my dad thought it would be funny to spray my open window with the hose. RIP my laptop, phone, school books, wooden desk, my entire bookshelf, and my carpet. FML

#21183828
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52034) - you deserved it (4327)

On 06/22/2014 at 1:27am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia

Today, my friends thought it would be funny to slip a condom under my pillow at boot camp. The staff found out, I got bitched out for 30 minutes straight, and now I have to put a condom on the grip of any rifle I'm issued for a week. My new callsign is "Love Glove". FML

#21183341
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41904) - you deserved it (4125)

On 06/21/2014 at 5:42pm - misc - by LoveGlove (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my mother came over to check on my new kitten while I was at work. She took a video of the kitten playing on my bed and climbing on my nightstand. Right on top of my vibrator I forgot to put away. I'm not sure if she noticed or not but she's certainly been showing the video around. FML

#21182483
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42048) - you deserved it (12727)

On 06/20/2014 at 10:48pm - intimacy - by misoranomegami (woman) - United States

Today, my doctor got my blood test results from the lab. He looked at me gravely and told me I had just weeks left to live. After I started hyperventilating and crying, he burst out laughing and said he was kidding. He then prescribed me some iron tablets and sent me on my way. FML

#21182241
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50710) - you deserved it (5881)

On 06/20/2014 at 7:03pm - health - by legitfile.bat.virus.exe (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend thought it'd be witty to buy a miniature stop sign, and hold it up when she gets bored during sex. FML

#21180516
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48091) - you deserved it (13124)

On 06/19/2014 at 10:37am - love - by stopinthenameoflove - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I only just found out that the abbreviation "lbs" is actually short for pounds. I've been saying "labs" my entire life. I'm 21. FML

#21179613
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24301) - you deserved it (49831)

On 06/18/2014 at 5:06pm - misc - by shtidsfpa (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, we had a guy come into the hospital with a carrot stuck deep in his anus. I've heard all kinds of ridiculous cover stories, but his took the cake; he claimed the phone rang while he was showering and he slipped onto a box of vegetables. Guess who had to extract the carrot. FML

#21179512
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51448) - you deserved it (4281)

On 06/18/2014 at 3:06pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)



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