About lux : D:
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, my friends and I go to a bar and get wasted. I walk around and see a kid. I start yelling, "There's a child in this bar! There's a CHILD in this BAR!" She turns around. She was a midget. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5845) - you deserved it (37087)
On 02/05/2009 at 7:55pm - misc - by frenchy (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, I decided to send my boyfriend a pic text of me naked. I accidentally sent it to my dad and got a text back saying, "You definitely take after your mom." FML
I agree, your life sucks (29802) - you deserved it (49027)
On 02/05/2009 at 9:09am - intimacy - by ruffrider (woman) - United States (South Carolina)
Today, I turned on my camera to find pictures of my dad's secretary giving him a blowjob. Minutes later, I hear a scream from another room as my 12-year-old sister discovers similar pictures on HER camera. Mom and dad say it's no big deal. FML
I agree, your life sucks (177200) - you deserved it (7211)
On 02/04/2009 at 10:51am - intimacy - by rexob (man) - United States (California)
Today, I received an email invitation to a dating web site. It was from my father-in-law. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34140) - you deserved it (2314)
On 02/03/2009 at 2:54am - intimacy - by Mavis (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I sent my boyfriend some nude pics of me. Later I get a text from my dad asking me when I had gotten a tattoo. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12382) - you deserved it (36777)
On 02/02/2009 at 7:56am - intimacy - by Nikki (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I slept with this new guy for the first time. After sex, he said the doggie style position was fun, it made him wonder what it would be like to rape a girl. FML
I agree, your life sucks (56124) - you deserved it (4761)
On 02/01/2009 at 5:53am - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (New York)
Today, I went to surprise my boyfriend in the shower. I opened the door and there was a giant shit in the open toilet. I pretended I was looking for my hairbrush. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22048) - you deserved it (5473)
On 01/26/2009 at 4:45pm - intimacy - by bad surprise - United States (New York)
Today, I was trying to be-friend a boy who was sitting alone. He had his gameboy nearly plastered to his eyes. I, cleverly, say to him, "Geeze don't put that thing so close, your eyes will fall out!" He took off his sunglasses, eyes going crooked, and said, "I'm legally blind." Insert foot here. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16102) - you deserved it (5776)
On 01/24/2009 at 7:27pm - kids - by thatsjustgreat - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I was jerking one off and my cat jumped out of nowhere and dug his claws into my shaft. Attempting to knock him away resulted in three nasty gashes... that I now have to explain to my wife. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26375) - you deserved it (6882)
On 01/19/2009 at 1:05pm - intimacy - by stanDman - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my man and I were having sex on edge of bed. We were using chocolate spread and I was riding him. When we were done, he got up and I noticed a long brown line on the edge of the bed. I knelt down to smell it. It was NOT chocolate. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41779) - you deserved it (5251)
On 01/12/2009 at 11:19am - intimacy - by Poopy - United States (California)
Today, my boyfriend and I were looking for our bubblegum flavored "numbing" lotion to have some morning fun. We couldnt find it anywhere. After about 10 minutes, my little nephew comes from my room crying and drool coming out of his mouth. He smelt like bubblegum, his mouth and tongue were all numb. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23028) - you deserved it (5879)
On 01/12/2009 at 10:37am - intimacy - by LiLGeek - United States (California)
Today, I fell asleep on the train, totally wiped out after last night's party, which involved lots of booze and spicy Indian food. I wake up and notice a small boy staring at me, so I smiled at him. He turned to his father and said, "Daddy, the farting man has just woken up." FML
I agree, your life sucks (14403) - you deserved it (6627)
On 01/10/2009 at 9:11pm - kids - by mark - Sent from mobile version
Today, I tried to cuddle Simon, my five year old son. He wriggled away and said: "If you need a teddy bear, go buy one! Or find another Simon!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (20599) - you deserved it (2121)
On 01/03/2009 at 10:55pm - kids - by sly - Sent from mobile version
Today, my wife and I both have blond hair and blue eyes, we just had a red headed son. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28554) - you deserved it (5504)
On 12/31/2008 at 10:45pm - kids - by - Sent from mobile version
Today, I was baby-sitting four rather noisy and rowdy kids. After a two hour struggle, I finally manage to get them into bed. I then ask them what they want before going to sleep, and the eldest replies: "Can you tell us a story where you die at the end?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (23418) - you deserved it (1919)
On 12/29/2008 at 5:56am - kids - by Hellau - Sent from mobile version
Monday 20 May 2013
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