lux

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lux

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 24 April 1985 (31 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3431
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About lux : D:

lux's FML badges

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

See all of lux's badges

lux's favorite FMLs

Today, I decided to send my boyfriend a pic text of me naked. I accidentally sent it to my dad and got a text back saying, "You definitely take after your mom." FML

by ruffrider / 02/05/2009 at 9:09am / United States (South Carolina) / Intimacy

Today, I turned on my camera to find pictures of my dad's secretary giving him a blowjob. Minutes later, I hear a scream from another room as my 12-year-old sister discovers similar pictures on HER camera. Mom and dad say it's no big deal. FML

by rexob / 02/04/2009 at 10:51am / United States (California) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I received an email invitation to a dating web site. It was from my father-in-law. FML

by Mavis / 02/03/2009 at 2:54am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, I sent my boyfriend some nude pics of me. Later I get a text from my dad asking me when I had gotten a tattoo. FML

by Nikki / 02/02/2009 at 7:56am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I slept with this new guy for the first time. After sex, he said the doggie style position was fun, it made him wonder what it would be like to rape a girl. FML

by anonymous / 02/01/2009 at 5:53am / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, I went to surprise my boyfriend in the shower. I opened the door and there was a giant shit in the open toilet. I pretended I was looking for my hairbrush. FML

by bad surprise / 01/26/2009 at 4:45pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, I was trying to be-friend a boy who was sitting alone. He had his gameboy nearly plastered to his eyes. I, cleverly, say to him, "Geeze don't put that thing so close, your eyes will fall out!" He took off his sunglasses, eyes going crooked, and said, "I'm legally blind." Insert foot here. FML

by thatsjustgreat / 01/24/2009 at 7:27pm / United States (New Jersey) / Kids

Today, I was jerking one off and my cat jumped out of nowhere and dug his claws into my shaft. Attempting to knock him away resulted in three nasty gashes... that I now have to explain to my wife. FML

by stanDman / 01/19/2009 at 1:05pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, my man and I were having sex on edge of bed. We were using chocolate spread and I was riding him. When we were done, he got up and I noticed a long brown line on the edge of the bed. I knelt down to smell it. It was NOT chocolate. FML

by Poopy / 01/12/2009 at 11:19am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend and I were looking for our bubblegum flavored "numbing" lotion to have some morning fun. We couldnt find it anywhere. After about 10 minutes, my little nephew comes from my room crying and drool coming out of his mouth. He smelt like bubblegum, his mouth and tongue were all numb. FML

by LiLGeek / 01/12/2009 at 10:37am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I fell asleep on the train, totally wiped out after last night's party, which involved lots of booze and spicy Indian food. I wake up and notice a small boy staring at me, so I smiled at him. He turned to his father and said, "Daddy, the farting man has just woken up." FML

by mark / 01/10/2009 at 9:11pm / Kids

Today, I tried to cuddle Simon, my five year old son. He wriggled away and said: "If you need a teddy bear, go buy one! Or find another Simon!" FML

by sly / 01/03/2009 at 10:55pm / Kids

Today, my wife and I both have blond hair and blue eyes, we just had a red headed son. FML

by / 12/31/2008 at 10:45pm / Kids

Today, I was baby-sitting four rather noisy and rowdy kids. After a two hour struggle, I finally manage to get them into bed. I then ask them what they want before going to sleep, and the eldest replies: "Can you tell us a story where you die at the end?" FML

by Hellau / 12/29/2008 at 5:56am / Kids

Today, I had sex with a girl who cried out as she came "Forgive me Lord! Forgive me Lord!" FML

by chicochico / 12/19/2008 at 11:05am / Intimacy