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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 24 April 1985 (31 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3751
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About lux : D:

lux's FML badges


You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

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lux's favorite FMLs

Today, I had sex for the first time with a guy. After he passionately made love to me, I turned to him and said "you smell really good." He turned to me and said "You don't." FML

by pixie / 02/17/2009 at 3:10am / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up?!" FML

by offbeans / 02/16/2009 at 9:29pm / United States (California) / Kids

Today, while at work I was reading "The Very Hungry Caterpillar" to me class of 5 year olds. I got near the end of the book and said "Look at the big fat caterpillar" to which one of my pupils replied "Just like you, Miss!" FML

by Lesley / 02/16/2009 at 8:11pm / United Kingdom (Glasgow City) / Kids

Today, my boss called me into his office to show me the web site of a potential business partner. When he began to type 'virginia' into google, it auto-completed his search with his recent search for 'virgin boy assholes'. I have to go on business trip with him tomorrow. I'm a young guy. FML

by The Sbeak / 02/13/2009 at 10:54am / United States (Rhode Island) / Intimacy

Today, I found out that when I masturbate at night while watching internet porn I cast a huge shadow on the curtain and the entire street is able to see it. FML

by Evil_Egbert / 02/12/2009 at 6:54am / Netherlands (Noord-Brabant) / Intimacy

Today, I was going down on a girl. When I looked up she was texting. FML

by alhummel21 / 02/12/2009 at 2:45am / United States (California) / Love

Today, I got a text message. It said, "I'm so drunk. What you up to, girl?" It was my dad. FML

by sober / 02/11/2009 at 9:09pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I accidentally kicked a child down a set of steps. I work in a kids play area. FML

by Crog / 02/11/2009 at 6:59am / United Kingdom (Monmouthshire) / Kids

Today, I was walking my son to school. After yelling at him for not looking where he's walking, I grabbed his hand and pulled him closer to me. Not paying attention, I walked him right into a light pole. FML

by EOJ / 02/10/2009 at 12:07pm / United States (Michigan) / Kids

Today, I was tutoring kids at an elementary school. One kid messed up my hair. I said, "Why'd you do that??" He said, "I have lice, now you have lice too!" FML

by imalilangel05 / 02/10/2009 at 10:08am / United States (Virginia) / Kids

Today, I greeted a mom and a little girl at the place where I work. The little girl looks at me, looks back at her mom, and says, "Mommy, I hate people." FML

by neversayhiagain / 02/10/2009 at 12:58am / United States (Kansas) / Kids

Today, my husband found the box my morning after pill came in. He had a vasectomy 10 years ago. FML

by apricot / 02/09/2009 at 7:46pm / United Kingdom (Birmingham) / Intimacy

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. When he was about to orgasm, he screamed "Yes Brittany!" at the top of his lungs. My name's not Brittany. That's his sister. FML

by caroline / 02/06/2009 at 10:29am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy

Today, while my 4 year old nephew was hugging me, he stepped back and declared, "Auntie, my Pee-do is hard, but it will go away." FML

by Fag_Hag / 02/05/2009 at 8:30pm / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous

Today, my friends and I go to a bar and get wasted. I walk around and see a kid. I start yelling, "There's a child in this bar! There's a CHILD in this BAR!" She turns around. She was a midget. FML

by frenchy / 02/05/2009 at 7:55pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Miscellaneous