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lux

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lux

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 24 April 1985 (29 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2498
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About lux : D:

lux's FML badges

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

See all of lux's badges

lux's favorite FMLs

Today, I had sex for the first time with a guy. After he passionately made love to me, I turned to him and said "you smell really good." He turned to me and said "You don't." FML

#59427
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48734) - you deserved it (11994)

On 02/17/2009 at 3:10am - intimacy - by pixie (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up?!" FML

#56665
505 comments

I agree, your life sucks (234666) - you deserved it (81893)

On 02/16/2009 at 9:29pm - kids - by offbeans (man) - United States (California)

Today, while at work I was reading "The Very Hungry Caterpillar" to me class of 5 year olds. I got near the end of the book and said "Look at the big fat caterpillar" to which one of my pupils replied "Just like you, Miss!" FML

#55893
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37189) - you deserved it (5313)

On 02/16/2009 at 8:11pm - kids - by Lesley (woman) - United Kingdom (Glasgow City)

Today, I found out that when I masturbate at night while watching internet porn I cast a huge shadow on the curtain and the entire street is able to see it. FML

#30273
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21016) - you deserved it (48786)

On 02/12/2009 at 6:54am - intimacy - by Evil_Egbert (man) - Netherlands (Noord-Brabant)

Today, I was going down on a girl. When I looked up she was texting. FML

#29912
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (162640) - you deserved it (47451)

On 02/12/2009 at 2:45am - misc - by alhummel21 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I got a text message. It said, "I'm so drunk. What you up to, girl?" It was my dad. FML

#27684
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (73171) - you deserved it (3848)

On 02/11/2009 at 9:09pm - misc - by sober (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I accidentally kicked a child down a set of steps. I work in a kids play area. FML

#24461
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14406) - you deserved it (27257)

On 02/11/2009 at 6:59am - misc - by Crog (man) - United Kingdom (Monmouthshire)

Today, I was walking my son to school. After yelling at him for not looking where he's walking, I grabbed his hand and pulled him closer to me. Not paying attention, I walked him right into a light pole. FML

#20511
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6815) - you deserved it (48446)

On 02/10/2009 at 12:07pm - misc - by EOJ (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was tutoring kids at an elementary school. One kid messed up my hair. I said, "Why'd you do that??" He said, "I have lice, now you have lice too!" FML

#20313
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (93320) - you deserved it (5121)

On 02/10/2009 at 10:08am - misc - by imalilangel05 (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I greeted a mom and a little girl at the place where I work. The little girl looks at me, looks back at her mom, and says, "Mommy, I hate people." FML

#19635
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32884) - you deserved it (2304)

On 02/10/2009 at 12:58am - misc - by neversayhiagain (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, my husband found the box my morning after pill came in. He had a vasectomy 10 years ago. FML

#18272
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32738) - you deserved it (442286)

On 02/09/2009 at 7:46pm - intimacy - by apricot (woman) - United Kingdom (Birmingham)

Today, while my 4 year old nephew was hugging me, he stepped back and declared, "Auntie, my Pee-do is hard, but it will go away." FML

#11033
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31460) - you deserved it (2826)

On 02/05/2009 at 8:30pm - misc - by Fag_Hag (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my friends and I go to a bar and get wasted. I walk around and see a kid. I start yelling, "There's a child in this bar! There's a CHILD in this BAR!" She turns around. She was a midget. FML

#10978
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8029) - you deserved it (47976)

On 02/05/2009 at 7:55pm - misc - by frenchy (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)



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  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

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