lux

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lux

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 24 April 1985 (31 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3677
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About lux : D:

lux's FML badges

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

See all of lux's badges

lux's favorite FMLs

Today, at work, we finally got a digital projector so our theater can show 3D movies. Our first movie is The Jonas Brothers Concert. FML

by Noname / 02/25/2009 at 8:31pm / United States (Indiana) / Work

Today, I went to get a condom because my boyfriend and I were going to have sex for the first time. When I opened the drawer, I saw that every single condom had a Jesus pin stabbed through it, and a note on top of the box: "love mom." FML

by Noname / 02/24/2009 at 8:20pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, I was on an Easyjet flight, next to two attractive girls, listening to a track which starts with a woman pleasuring herself. I don't like this track so I go to skip it but accidentally unplug my headphones, activating my phone speakers and revealing the said woman at the peak of her orgasm. FML

by Byron fiddles / 02/24/2009 at 6:57am / Hungary (Budapest) / Intimacy

Today, I arrived at my parents house for dinner. When I got there, I noticed that they had gay pride flags hanging from the porch, and gay rights bumper stickers plastered to their cars. There was also a huge "We accept you, Nick" banner hanging from the garage. I'M NOT GAY! FML

by Nick / 02/22/2009 at 10:04pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to the store to buy some condoms for my girlfriend, Kim and I. I was in a rush and when I looked at the cashier realized it was her father. Nervous and hoping to reassure him, I go "don't worry, I'm not using these with Kim." That didn't help. FML

by madfather / 02/22/2009 at 8:38pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, while I was making out with my boyfriend, he left my dorm suddenly without telling me where he was going. A few hours later, he texted me to tell me that being with me made him feel dirty and he had gone to confession. He then called me a sinner. FML

by not getting any anymore / 02/21/2009 at 10:23pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, My mom walked in on me and my 2 year crush about to have sex. When she saw us she said "oh I'll just wait outside, I know it wont be long anyway." FML

by Noname / 02/21/2009 at 12:41am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I drunk dialed my mom and told her I was so high and drunk that I thought the KGB was coming after me. When I woke up this morning, my mom told me that she's no longer paying for college. FML

by Noname / 02/20/2009 at 6:42pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Money

Today, I woke up after having had sex with my 4-year crush expecting to find him in bed next to me. Instead, I found my cell phone with a text message from him that said "you should really do something about the pimples on your ass." FML

by acw2110 / 02/20/2009 at 6:25pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, at a strategy session my manager displayed a flow chart of his employees. I wasn't included. Apparently I had been fired and they forgot to tell me. FML

by Noname / 02/20/2009 at 12:30am / South Africa (Gauteng) / Work

Today, I went bowling with my mom and she paid for 2 games. By the 6th frame of game 1 she was bored and to get her money back for both games she told the employees I shit my pants. I'm 17. FML

by Noname / 02/19/2009 at 4:47pm / United States (Maryland) / Money

Today, I was eating at a restaurant with my boyfriend, he is 6'2 and i am 4'11. Out of nowhere, the hostess started openly flirting with him, and asked him if he needed a booster chair for his daughter. FML

by not-so-young-shortie / 02/18/2009 at 5:57pm / United States (Indiana) / Love

Today, my mom cleaned up my room. I had a drawer filled with condoms, 2 vibrators, and a bondage kit. She organized the condoms and vibrators in a shoe box. FML

by swtkiss1 / 02/18/2009 at 5:26pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I woke up to the sound of scissors. My mom was cutting my hair while I was asleep. FML

by w_t_f / 02/18/2009 at 4:16am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, after some very passionate sex with my girlfriend, she exclaims "that was amazing Drew..." She quickly tried to turn "Drew" into my actual name which does not sound a thing like Drew. FML

by mynameisnotdrew / 02/17/2009 at 12:19pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy