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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I found out my boyfriend of two years has children. Not one, not two, but three. Not with one, two, but three women. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40210) - you deserved it (3496)
On 08/28/2009 at 2:42am - misc - by helenablitz (woman) - United States (California)
Today, on the train on the way to my mother's house, I was playing Mariokart with my son. He got a 'bomb' item, and yelled quite loudly, "I have a bomb!". Panic ensued. We got thrown off the train at the next stop. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40013) - you deserved it (4930)
On 08/28/2009 at 12:41am - kids - by mariokarter (woman) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. After about 10 minutes, when we change positions, he shouts: "Power Rangers - Transform!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (50631) - you deserved it (9073)
On 08/18/2009 at 7:45pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I was sneaking over to my girlfriend's house. I sent her mother a text message thinking it was my girlfriend saying "There's a stalker coming in to make you his play mate ;]" Unfortunately when I got to her window I was greeted by her dad with a bat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6940) - you deserved it (49321)
On 08/11/2009 at 4:30pm - love - by Ohfman117 (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I was at my girlfriend's house. It was just me and her. Things began to get heated, and we started doing it on the living room couch. Near the end of it I decided to whisper in her ear, "Who's your daddy?" I hear behind me, "I am." FML
I agree, your life sucks (37649) - you deserved it (61557)
On 08/05/2009 at 1:28am - intimacy - by unbelievable208 (man) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I texted my girlfriend and told her I was mowing my lawn. She responded "it's about time, it keeps getting caught in my teeth!" I was referring to the lawn outside of my house. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11480) - you deserved it (37569)
On 08/04/2009 at 1:11am - misc - by jkon (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, my girlfriend wanted to name my penis. After 5 minutes of thinking up random names, she finally picked one. Say hello to Squirtle. FML
I agree, your life sucks (59555) - you deserved it (12169)
On 08/01/2009 at 3:44am - love - by NinjaPanda88 (man) - United States (California)
Today, I learned when you're babysitting a 5 year old, and you hear the toilet flush and then the words "uh oh", it's already too late. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34042) - you deserved it (4861)
On 07/20/2009 at 2:45pm - kids - by Pooperscooper - Sent from mobile version
Today, my girlfriend's dad chased me with a baseball bat because he found a pair of my boxers in her room. They were not there because I left them there, they were there because she stole them. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38851) - you deserved it (2003)
On 07/20/2009 at 1:40am - misc - by pyrosythan (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my boyfriend and I were having phone sex. It got very wild and soon was interrupted by a knock on my door. My dad had come home early from work, and heard the whole thing. He demanded my boyfriend to come over, and he had a sex talk with him on the couch in front of the whole family. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38641) - you deserved it (15900)
On 07/04/2009 at 4:30pm - intimacy - by twintowers (woman) - United States
Today, was my boyfriends birthday. He wanted a blowjob while playing Call of Duty 4. In typical gamer fashion, he slammed his controller down when he died. Into my head. FML
I agree, your life sucks (52211) - you deserved it (20566)
On 06/21/2009 at 12:16am - intimacy - by jinxofsocal (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I felt left out that all my friends are getting married or have great relationships and my boyfriend won't commit. I made a facebook up and pretended to talk with this really cute guy I made up. Today, I found out that my boyfriend is gay... he started hitting on my made up facebook guy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (50917) - you deserved it (14389)
On 05/27/2009 at 12:06am - love - by sounfair90 (woman) - United States (Alabama)
Today, a really cute guy sat across from me on the bus. He smiled at me, then tensed his muscles and lifted a heavy bag with one arm. Thinking he was trying to act "macho" to impress me, I rolled my eyes and threw him an annoyed/disgusted look. When he got off, I realized he only had one arm. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6904) - you deserved it (57683)
On 04/04/2009 at 2:05am - misc - by OrangeTree12 - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, this girl and I were chilling in my apartment and things got heated up and we started making out. One thing lead to another and the next thing I knew she was giving me head. I was getting ready to bust when she stopped, looked up into my eyes and said "Do you believe in Jesus?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (162695) - you deserved it (22122)
On 03/26/2009 at 7:41am - intimacy - by JAY22 (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (461041) - you deserved it (572788)
On 03/09/2009 at 6:58pm - intimacy - by RC3Welly (man) - United States (Florida)
Monday 20 May 2013
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