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luvmehateme098's FML badges
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luvmehateme098's favorite FMLs
by scot / 09/02/2012 at 11:38am / United States (Massachusetts) / Intimacy
by anonymous / 05/14/2012 at 6:31am / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy
by notsober / 03/20/2012 at 1:49am / United States / Love
by Anonymous / 02/23/2012 at 3:25pm / United States / Intimacy
Today, I found out that my wife is pregnant again. During her last two pregnancies, she craved pop-tarts and screamed bloody murder at the drop of a hat, so I went out and bought a box for her. Turns out that this time, pop-tarts make her want to puke. Cue screaming. FML
by Anonymous / 02/22/2012 at 2:55pm / Canada (Alberta) / Love
by Anonymous / 02/22/2012 at 12:42am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 02/21/2012 at 2:17pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy
by Lilah / 02/18/2012 at 7:29pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy
by ShylaMarie / 02/14/2012 at 5:29pm / Canada / Kids
Today, in the midst of having sex, my boyfriend decided that, as a joke, he would pretend to be a zombie whilst going down on me. Sadly, the thought turned me so much that I came. This was the first orgasm he's ever given me in over a year of dating. FML
by lotrgeek / 02/13/2012 at 8:37am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
by DieTrying / 02/02/2012 at 4:31am / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, I had to sit my 13-year-old son down and explain to him that I'd noticed that his pajamas feel a little "crispy" when I pick them up to do the laundry, and ask if he could start using tissues when having some "alone time." FML
by stainseverywhere / 02/01/2012 at 2:11am / United States (Washington) / Intimacy
Today, my boyfriend gave me twelve roses and told me that he would love me until the last one dies. Remembering the Facebook like, I began looking for the fake one but couldn't find it. When I pointed out that all twelve were real and would die within days, he responded, "Exactly." FML
by Shelly P. / 01/28/2012 at 7:10pm / United States (Colorado) / Love
Today, my boyfriend and I were watching a movie and eating a burger. Feeling frisky, I sat up and took off my shirt. He looked at my chest, at his burger, then back at me and said, "Give me a minute, I don't want my food to get cold." FML
by elisimo / 01/24/2012 at 3:50am / United States (New York) / Intimacy
Today, my boyfriend insisted that we try phone sex. He started telling me all the things he wanted to do to me while breathing heavily. Unfortunately, it sounded so ridiculous, I burst out laughing. He hung up on me, and has refused to pick up since. FML
by Lickmylovepump / 01/18/2012 at 11:09pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy
- Today, I’m in Thailand and I met a monk. The conversation was so deep and interesting that, without… Today, as an overprotective mother, I asked my 19 year-old son, who was going to spend his day on… Today, I told my son off because he lost a form. A form that I later found in my right-hand pocket.…