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luvmehateme098

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luvmehateme098

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Saturday 18 August 1990 (24 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 91
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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luvmehateme098's favorite FMLs

Today, while having sex with my girlfriend in the bathroom, we heard a knock at the door, then her father's voice. I had to fake constipation noises until he left. FML

#20053940
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22217) - you deserved it (12166)

On 09/02/2012 at 11:38am - intimacy - by scot - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my boyfriend started laughing during sex because my boobs are slightly different. He then broke up with me after I pointed out that his nuts aren't exactly even either. FML

#19621100
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34717) - you deserved it (5792)

On 05/14/2012 at 6:31am - intimacy - by anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my boyfriend told me he loved me for the first time. About 2 hours later, he got to hold my hair while I puked, also for the first time. FML

#19312067
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20056) - you deserved it (6182)

On 03/20/2012 at 1:49am - love - by notsober - United States

Today, my mom tried to give me the sex talk, while I was mounting my boyfriend. FML

#19146778
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14387) - you deserved it (33358)

On 02/23/2012 at 3:25pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I found out that my wife is pregnant again. During her last two pregnancies, she craved pop-tarts and screamed bloody murder at the drop of a hat, so I went out and bought a box for her. Turns out that this time, pop-tarts make her want to puke. Cue screaming. FML

#19139199
249 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30398) - you deserved it (4021)

On 02/22/2012 at 2:55pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my husband and I were about to have sex. As soon as I got on top, he started speaking in a robot voice, then demanded that I call him "the Fuckinator." FML

#19136346
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34176) - you deserved it (4992)

On 02/22/2012 at 12:42am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my girlfriend said I could only take her virginity while I have a flaccid penis, so I won't hurt her. I get hard from just staring at her covered ass. FML

#19131405
407 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38225) - you deserved it (5631)

On 02/21/2012 at 2:17pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was showing off my sexy new lingerie set to my boyfriend. While we were getting frisky, he got really into things and ripped it completely off my body, destroying it. It cost me $110. FML

#19109811
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26764) - you deserved it (17750)

On 02/18/2012 at 7:29pm - intimacy - by Lilah - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I had to chase my naked brothers around my house for twenty minutes, trying to get them to take a bath, all while they were chasing my best friend around yelling, "IT'S WIENER TIME!" FML

#19076647
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23943) - you deserved it (2469)

On 02/14/2012 at 5:29pm - kids - by ShylaMarie - Canada

Today, in the midst of having sex, my boyfriend decided that, as a joke, he would pretend to be a zombie whilst going down on me. Sadly, the thought turned me so much that I came. This was the first orgasm he's ever given me in over a year of dating. FML

#19064063
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32184) - you deserved it (6179)

On 02/13/2012 at 8:37am - intimacy - by lotrgeek (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while in bed with my fiancée, I asked her to take off her pants so we could get it on. She said, "No, I don't feel like squeezing into them again." I was cockblocked by a pair of jeans. FML

#18974719
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30395) - you deserved it (4930)

On 02/02/2012 at 4:31am - intimacy - by DieTrying - United States (California)

Today, I had to sit my 13-year-old son down and explain to him that I'd noticed that his pajamas feel a little "crispy" when I pick them up to do the laundry, and ask if he could start using tissues when having some "alone time." FML

#18966482
248 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33104) - you deserved it (5677)

On 02/01/2012 at 2:11am - intimacy - by stainseverywhere (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my boyfriend gave me twelve roses and told me that he would love me until the last one dies. Remembering the Facebook like, I began looking for the fake one but couldn't find it. When I pointed out that all twelve were real and would die within days, he responded, "Exactly." FML

#18936421
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33554) - you deserved it (3038)

On 01/28/2012 at 7:10pm - love - by Shelly P. (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my boyfriend and I were watching a movie and eating a burger. Feeling frisky, I sat up and took off my shirt. He looked at my chest, at his burger, then back at me and said, "Give me a minute, I don't want my food to get cold." FML

#18896901
275 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17314) - you deserved it (30992)

On 01/24/2012 at 3:50am - intimacy - by elisimo - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend insisted that we try phone sex. He started telling me all the things he wanted to do to me while breathing heavily. Unfortunately, it sounded so ridiculous, I burst out laughing. He hung up on me, and has refused to pick up since. FML

#18849422
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17531) - you deserved it (31494)

On 01/18/2012 at 11:09pm - intimacy - by Lickmylovepump (woman) - United States (Florida)



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