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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, my parents found cigarettes in my car. After a long argument lasting over an hour, I convinced them that they weren't mine and that I don't smoke. A few minutes later, I went to work. Guess who decided to visit me during my smoke break. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4260) - you deserved it (54181)
On 12/01/2009 at 7:49pm - misc - by reptar2009 (man) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I went to Walmart with my girlfriend. We bought the usual, food, Advil and condoms. While I waited in line, she went to grab everything. When she came back, I looked in the cart and saw no condoms. I asked her why she didn't get any. She replied "They ran out of smalls." Everyone laughed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35970) - you deserved it (5756)
On 12/01/2009 at 4:11pm - misc - by xXxJoe16xXx - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I cleaned out my husband's drawer. He had kept every love letter I wrote him for the past 7 years. I smiled, struck by how romantic he was. My bliss was short-lived as I realized that he had also kept every single love letter his other lovers wrote him while we were married. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31997) - you deserved it (2613)
On 12/01/2009 at 3:22am - love - by loveletterbullcrap09 (woman) - United States
Today, at 4am, I remembered that I had not studied for my Spanish exam. I panicked, jumped out of bed, and frantically began searching for my notebook. It wasn't until I destroyed my desk and woke up my roommate that I realized that I'm not enrolled in Spanish this semester. It was a nightmare. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22821) - you deserved it (6612)
On 11/30/2009 at 7:19pm - misc - by Stressmess - United States (Vermont)
Today, I woke up and rolled out of bed. I'm on the top mattress of a bunk bed. We have tile floors. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22305) - you deserved it (5942)
On 11/30/2009 at 4:35pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, me and my girlfriend were riding on my motorcycle. While at a stop light, she started to make these weird noises. Turns out she was having an orgasm. I still can't give her one. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16321) - you deserved it (3755)
On 11/30/2009 at 3:35pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)
Today, my ceiling fan was rocking violently so I turned it off. I stood under it trying to figure out what the problem is, it fell on my face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23299) - you deserved it (8359)
On 11/29/2009 at 11:57am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, Me and my girlfriend went and saw "The Blind Side." I sobbed throughout the entire movie. My girlfriend didn't shed a tear. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19218) - you deserved it (10497)
On 11/29/2009 at 4:33am - love - by jimmyt420 (man) - United States (California)
Today, I realized that I'm a sleepwalker and for the past week, that dream where I was giving my roommate a blowjob was real. He just pretended it never happened. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21339) - you deserved it (3166)
On 11/28/2009 at 1:11pm - intimacy - by chacha - United States
Today, I found out the hard way that the proper way to drink out of a drinking fountain is to press the button, then lower your face. Not the other way around. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3459) - you deserved it (28096)
On 11/28/2009 at 1:00am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Idaho)
Today, I was explaining the inner parts of a vagina and how they work. To my boyfriend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14490) - you deserved it (4393)
On 11/28/2009 at 12:25am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, a doctor examined my wrist, which is completely swollen and painful. He diagnosed a case of tendonitis and asked me, "Do you use this hand for a particular sort of sport?" I just smiled like a twit. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6007) - you deserved it (30979)
On 11/27/2009 at 4:24pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, I got in a hotel elevator. There was a kid in there also. He got off on the 3rd floor. As he was stepping from the elevator, he decided to press every single button. Its a 35 floor hotel. My room is on the 32nd floor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21468) - you deserved it (2741)
On 11/27/2009 at 3:01pm - kids - by w0rstdayever - United States (New York)
Today, I got no happy birthday wishes from anyone. I decided to call my sister to see if she'd remembered. My 6-year-old niece answered, so I told her it was my birthday. She said that it's tomorrow. After ten minutes of arguing with a 6-year-old, I checked the calendar. It's tomorrow. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4467) - you deserved it (37427)
On 11/27/2009 at 9:26am - misc - by forgotmyownbirthday (woman) - United States (Maryland)
Today, I learned that when someone says "I know what you did" it's better not to confess right away, because sometimes they could be talking about leaving the computer on all night, and not talking about giving the family dog away and telling everyone it ran away. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3003) - you deserved it (29336)
On 11/27/2009 at 9:13am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)
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