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Today, after years of loaning my mother countless amounts of cash that never get paid back, borrowing $60 from her, and being just one day late paying it off due to food poisoning, she sends a very large man to my door to collect, like she's Tony Soprano. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39189) - you deserved it (3957)
On 04/18/2013 at 12:01am - money - by some people's parents - United States (Colorado)
Today, I had to explain to a woman why she wasn't allowed to squeeze all the contents of the sample lotion bottle into her own bottle. She threw a fit, and dumped the whole bottle on my head. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37221) - you deserved it (3122)
On 04/18/2013 at 12:00am - work - by Anonymous - United States (New York)
Today, I got ancestry DNA tests for my parents and myself. The DNA testing company informed me that I'm a 50% match for my mother but I share no DNA with my father. Apparently, both my parents forgot that they used a sperm donor. This insignificant detail has slipped their minds for 35 years. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40467) - you deserved it (2320)
On 04/17/2013 at 6:56pm - misc - by Flora (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I woke up to my brother chopping all my bangs off. When I yelled at him, he could only shout back, "You can see clearly now, the bangs are gone!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (43906) - you deserved it (7045)
On 04/17/2013 at 12:13pm - kids - by my dumb bro - United States (Arkansas)
Today, I left my son with my husband while I went to the store. Ten minutes later, my dog was missing a large patch of fur, and neither of them can stop laughing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33520) - you deserved it (6501)
On 04/17/2013 at 11:14am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, in my psychology class we were covering OCDs. I have an issue with creased paper and my best friend brought it up, so for the next hour my class mates sat screwing up paper to see how long I could continuously have a panic attack. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42365) - you deserved it (5443)
On 04/17/2013 at 6:20am - health - by Annieisnotokay - United Kingdom
Today, I learned two things. First, my girlfriend loves sex. Second, I'm practically the only one she hasn't had sex with in the 2 months we've been dating. FML
I agree, your life sucks (51076) - you deserved it (4714)
On 04/17/2013 at 2:14am - love - by rawdoglyfe69 - United States (Montana)
Today, at the exact moment that I leaned over to show my dad a picture on my phone, my boyfriend texted me: "I'm no weather man, but you can expect a few inches tonight." FML
I agree, your life sucks (52829) - you deserved it (9746)
On 04/17/2013 at 1:39am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, I admitted to my parents that I'm a pathological liar and I would like to go get help. They didn't believe me, and told me stop making stuff up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35862) - you deserved it (5690)
On 04/17/2013 at 12:07am - misc - by Aaronator25 - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I gave my wife a birthday present. For months she'd been talking about an expensive treadmill that she wanted, so I bought it. Her reaction when she saw it was to yell, "YOU THINK I'M FAT!" and burst into tears. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41832) - you deserved it (7832)
On 04/16/2013 at 7:23pm - misc - by S. Fancyson - United States
Today, my boyfriend and I got intimate for the first time. A few hours later, we discovered he's highly allergic to my Summer's Eve soap. He looks like he's been attacked by bees. Yay for losing my v-card. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36602) - you deserved it (5859)
On 04/16/2013 at 7:21pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because she heard me say "love you" on the phone. I was talking to my mom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (51905) - you deserved it (4036)
On 04/16/2013 at 2:13pm - love - by fucklife - United States (District of Columbia)
Today, for the fifth time since my parents got divorced, my father has decided he doesn't want to pick me up for his weekend because I'm "too responsible to have fun with." FML
I agree, your life sucks (35717) - you deserved it (4943)
On 04/16/2013 at 12:17pm - misc - by ouch - United States (Tennessee)
Today, my girlfriend confessed that she had drunkenly slept with another guy last night. Since she seemed genuinely upset, and had confessed right away, I decided to forgive her the slip-up. She then angrily broke up with me, because "if I really loved her, I would've been more angry." FML
I agree, your life sucks (56012) - you deserved it (9424)
On 04/16/2013 at 9:27am - intimacy - by notacaveman (man) - Netherlands
Today, working in customer support, I received a call from a woman who'd just been robbed. My supervisor asked what was taking so long; I told him that she was hysterical. He took my phone and told her to call back when she had her "shit together", then hung up. I take orders from this man. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35607) - you deserved it (3010)
On 04/16/2013 at 6:50am - work - by no compassion - United States (Colorado)
Monday 20 May 2013
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