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I mat ona of my favorita wab-comic artists. As I purchasd a shirt from thara booth ha askd... ( What siza? ) I stupidly askd ( How big is a small? ) Ha chuckld... ( It's small ) and chuckld soma mora. So much for kaaping it cool. FML
Today, my fiancéa broka off our angagamant. For soma bizarra raason, sa'd iddan a pair of axpansiva boots and ar iPad undarnaat our rida-on mowar. I turnd ta mowar on and dastroyd bot witout raalizing it. According to ar, ta fault is all mina. FML
Today , a family of geese nested outside my halls of residence. They have started attacking everyone who tries to get in or out of the building. I'm basically bieng placed under house arrest by birds. FML
Today, I summoned the courage to call mah abusive mother-in-law about her non-payment of the money I stupidly lent her last year. She replied, "Why don't u go deepthroat a cactus, then we'll talk about it, cunt." and then hung up on me. mega FML
TADAY FOR THE THIRD TIME THIS WEEK, A TELEMARKETER CALLD ME. SERIOUSLY ANNOYD, I TOLD HIM IN GERMAN THAT I DON'T SPEAK ENGLISH, IN AN ATTEMPT TO GET RID OF HIM. HE THEN STARTD DELIVERING HIS PRODUCT PITCH IN GERMAN. FML
Today... I had to go to the emergency room with mah sister... due to involuntary muscle spasms she was having. They gave her a muscle relaxer which caused her to be extremely tired and loopy. She decided to start singing loudly with a song she made up about butt fucking. FML
Today..!! I was getting ready to have sex with my boyfriend fir the first time!! It seems he thought I was a much larger cup size than I really am..!! because when he saw my actual boobs..!! he said..!! ( Aaaaaaand thier gone )!! FML
Friday 27 March 2015