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Today, while I was in the shower, I heard a door slam. Assuming it was my fiancé, I shouted "I love you!" I later opened the bathroom door to see my stereo and television missing. I'd said "I love you" to whoever robbed my apartment. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46781) - you deserved it (4069)
On 04/30/2013 at 3:54am - money - by ShowerGirl (woman) - United States
Today, I met one of my favorite web-comic artists. As I purchased a shirt from their booth he asked, "What size?" I stupidly asked "How big is a small?" He chuckled, "It's small" and chuckled some more. So much for keeping it cool. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28478) - you deserved it (6166)
On 04/29/2013 at 11:32pm - misc - by stupidquestionsstupidpeople - United States (Illinois)
Today, my fiancée broke off our engagement. For some bizarre reason, she'd hidden a pair of expensive boots and her iPad underneath our ride-on mower. I turned the mower on and destroyed both without realizing it. According to her, the fault is all mine. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45190) - you deserved it (2850)
On 04/29/2013 at 2:07pm - love - by Wow. Really? - United States (Ohio)
Today, my former fiancée, who I stopped seeing 5 months ago, married another guy. She wore the dress that I'd purchased for our would-be wedding. FML
I agree, your life sucks (50690) - you deserved it (4430)
On 04/29/2013 at 1:07pm - love - by Good Luck Chuck (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, a family of geese nested outside my halls of residence. They have started attacking everyone who tries to get in or out of the building. I'm basically being placed under house arrest by birds. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36863) - you deserved it (2866)
On 04/29/2013 at 12:14pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (York)
Today, I had a big party planned. All but one of the guests cancelled. See you at 7, mom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40468) - you deserved it (2944)
On 04/29/2013 at 12:09pm - misc - by Anonymous - Netherlands
Today, my dog became scared of his own food bowl. He now barks for ages every time he sees it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31122) - you deserved it (2412)
On 04/29/2013 at 3:20am - animals - by conbon123 - United States (Oregon)
Today, my ten-year-old sister had to write out my job application because no one can read my terrible handwriting. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19289) - you deserved it (30896)
On 04/28/2013 at 7:40pm - work - by AbhorrentApplication (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I summoned the courage to call my abusive mother-in-law about her non-payment of the money I stupidly lent her last year. She replied, "Why don't you go deepthroat a cactus, then we'll talk about it, cunt." and then hung up on me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46831) - you deserved it (5757)
On 04/28/2013 at 4:44pm - money - by a tad whipped (man) - Australia
Today, I got caught masturbating, twice, by the same person. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25258) - you deserved it (55540)
On 04/28/2013 at 3:53pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Saudi Arabia
Today, for the third time this week, a telemarketer called me. Seriously annoyed, I told him in German that I don't speak English, in an attempt to get rid of him. He then started delivering his product pitch in German. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45535) - you deserved it (9789)
On 04/28/2013 at 9:57am - misc - by Anonymous - China (Shanghai)
Today, my parents decided to wake me up on my birthday. They flashed the lights and yanked off my bed sheets. I sleep naked. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46749) - you deserved it (9263)
On 04/28/2013 at 9:16am - misc - by Beth - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I had to go to the emergency room with my sister, due to involuntary muscle spasms she was having. They gave her a muscle relaxer which caused her to be extremely tired and loopy. She decided to start singing loudly with a song she made up about butt fucking. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43864) - you deserved it (3944)
On 04/27/2013 at 8:42am - health - by seekerglow176 - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I smoked weed with friends. Stoned, I put on my sister's high heels instead of my Vans and I walked to 7-11. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16573) - you deserved it (65429)
On 04/27/2013 at 2:33am - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I was getting ready to have sex with my boyfriend for the first time. It seems he thought I was a much larger cup size than I really am, because when he saw my actual boobs, he said, "Aaaaaaand they're gone". FML
I agree, your life sucks (48864) - you deserved it (9994)
On 04/27/2013 at 12:11am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Monday 20 May 2013
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