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lunalay990's favorite FMLs
by failure as a parent / 05/11/2013 at 5:19pm / United States (New Jersey) / Kids
by What the fuck, son? / 05/11/2013 at 12:21pm / Netherlands (Utrecht) / Kids
Today, at work, I was trying to get the octopus out of its tank to transfer it to another one. It instantly latched to my face and sprayed ink all over me. My boss told me to stop playing with the animals. FML
by FenRackety / 05/10/2013 at 8:37am / Canada / Animals
Today, I was questioned by police for forcing a 12-year-old to get in my car. That 12-year-old is my daughter, who refused to get in until I agree to buy her a highly expensive purse just to become popular. FML
by brokedad / 05/09/2013 at 9:41pm / United States / Kids
Today, while answering an "anonymous" survey about how to keep my school drug free, I told them they should stop drug testing the kids that they know don't do drugs and test the sketchier ones. They in turn drug tested me. FML
by drug testing / 05/09/2013 at 6:22pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Miscellaneous
Today, by pure chance, I found the website where my boyfriend has been getting all the cute, "original" romantic texts he sends me, including the one that made me fall in love with him to begin with. FML
by Anonymous / 05/09/2013 at 12:30pm / Saudi Arabia (Makkah) / Love
by Anonymous / 05/09/2013 at 12:01pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I finally got the courage to make a move on the guy I've been crushing on. I asked him if he would like to go see a movie with me. He answered, "Sorry, I've already seen it." I didn't even mention any particular movie. FML
by Anonymous / 05/09/2013 at 3:01am / United States / Love
Today, as with every day, I had to endure my roommate talking to his wife in a baby voice. This is a grown man, who has had a beard since junior high, who literally talks to her like you would a puppy or a baby. Someone kill me. FML
by fml0505 / 05/09/2013 at 2:49am / United States / Miscellaneous
by Screwed Up / 05/09/2013 at 1:30am / United States / Health
by trice / 05/08/2013 at 1:48pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, while packing for a trip, my mom bumped my bag and it started to vibrate. She flew into a huge rage calling me all sorts of colourful names, thinking it was a sex toy. It was my tooth brush. FML
by oops / 05/08/2013 at 10:44am / Canada (Alberta) / Intimacy
by HamSandwich12 / 05/08/2013 at 10:17am / United States (Ohio) / Health
Today, I was singing horribly in the shower. Without me knowing, my sister recorded my singing and set it as my ringtone. My phone rang in class and everyone heard it. My new nickname is American Idol. FML
by kprince / 05/08/2013 at 10:00am / United States (California) / Kids
by Anonymous / 05/08/2013 at 2:59am / United States / Miscellaneous
- Today, I moved into my new apartment. As I sat in my living room watching Netflix, I found out that… Today, I needed to pee at my friend's house. His bathroom door is often left closed even if there's… Today, the guy in the dorm room next to me was playing very loud metal music. I went next door and…