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lunalay990's favorite FMLs
by notarobber / 05/15/2013 at 3:20am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, in the doctor's waiting room, a little boy asked me for a cookie. I told him that I didn't have any. He replied, "But my mom says that ladies with big butts always have cookies in their handbags." FML
by grossesfesses / 05/15/2013 at 2:58am / France (Picardie) / Miscellaneous
Today, my new neighbor moved in. Because she was fairly young, I offered to mow her grass whenever it needed cut. Her dad then tried to start a fight with me because he thought it was sexual come-on. FML
by Brenden / 05/14/2013 at 7:52pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
Today, I woke up without my fiancé in bed next to me, but I assumed he'd gone to work early. I went on Facebook to find that he had posted a break-up post to himself from my account and set my status to single. I then found a note with "Sorry" written on it stuck to the kitchen counter. FML
by for the love of god / 05/14/2013 at 5:35pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by ktorih137 / 05/14/2013 at 7:32am / Canada (Nova Scotia) / Transportation
by emmingle / 05/13/2013 at 7:05pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 05/13/2013 at 5:17pm / United States (Texas) / Love
Today, my dad sat me down for the sex talk, except it wasn't really a talk, but rather him making me watch a hardcore porn video with him as he commented on what the actors were doing. I had to listen to all this and ignore his obvious erection for almost an hour. FML
by more than I wanted to know / 05/13/2013 at 3:10pm / Italy (Emilia-Romagna) / Intimacy
by JamiesMom / 05/13/2013 at 12:29am / United States (Michigan) / Animals
Today, my daughter posted a beautiful, touching status on my Facebook wall for Mother's Day. It wasn't so touching that she'd just copied and pasted the one I wrote for her grandmother and sent it back to me, unedited. FML
by mothers / 05/12/2013 at 1:21pm / United States / Love
by turdtonomor9 / 05/12/2013 at 10:08am / United States / Love
by those_allergies / 05/12/2013 at 1:20am / United States (Oregon) / Health
Today, I asked my father if he was proud that I have never done drugs, never drank alcohol, never had sex, never had psychological problems, never been to the hospital for something serious, never been in a fight and maintain good grades. He told me I was a boring daughter. FML
by peallow / 05/12/2013 at 1:01am / Puerto Rico / Miscellaneous
Today, my boyfriend woke me up the same way he always does, by pulling on my hair. Just to be playful, I pulled him down on top of me and kissed him. Turns out his brother thought it would be funny to wake people up the same way. FML
by wrongguy / 05/11/2013 at 7:04pm / United States (North Carolina) / Love
- Today, after spending months comparing the previous weather forecasts to work out the exact date,… Today, I’m in Thailand and I met a monk. The conversation was so deep and interesting that, without… Today, I threw up when I got home because I'd been drinking with friends. My parents asked what was…