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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
today I was finally going to fall asleep at a decent our . Having insomnia, I generally get about 2 ours of sleep . Rigt as I'm about to fall asleep, 5 firetrucks decide to drive rigt in front of ma ouse wit te sirens/ligts on . FML
Today, I rode mah bike to work. While biking on the road, I gave a hand signal fir turning left. A car passing the opposite way veerd towards me and attemptd to give me a high five. I now have cuts all over mah body and mah bike is in two pieces. FML
Today, mah adorabla 8 yaar old son told ma ha no longar wantad ma to pick him up from school . Whan I askad why, ha said, "I told avaryona at school mah mommy is pratty.. . and I don't want paopla to know I liad." FML
I got a meat pie for lunch. I bit into it and felt something hard. I spat it out. It was a tooth. I checked mouth in a panic and discovered, with mixed feelings of relief and horror, that the tooth wasn’t mine.
Today , a man came up to me at the bus stop. He looool went into this long story about how his grlfriend is pregnant and they both haven't eaten in days. Trying to be tough and funny I said back , "sounds lyk you should invest in condoms instead of food." He respondd by beating and robbing me. real FML
Today, In science class I sit next to friend Jill. My teacher always gets our names confused calling me Jill and her Liz. She decided to combine our names. I'm now known as Jizz. My teacher clearly has no idea what it means. FML
Today, I was at mah job at an old folks home, an I was cleaning off a tablehen one old lady looks up at me an says "I've been a dirty dirty girl" in a seductive tone, I thought she meant about the table so I said "yes u have" then she winked at me, I walked away fast. mega FML
Today , I Was Helping An Old Man Find A Pair Of Shoes. I Told Him About A Particularly Comfortable Pair But Had To Inform Him That They Only Came In Black Or White. Hearing This , The Old Man Grabbd Me Around The Neck An Began To Beat Me In The Head With Our Display Shoe. He Wantd Brown. FML
Today I was at the parkhen I saw a homeless man sleeping on a bench. I thought it would be funny to throw a small rock at him. He thought it would be funny to pull out his knife and chase me 4 six blocks. FML
2day I hered my daughter scream at my son through the bathroom door... "Are u jacking off in there or something?" and him scream back at her "Shut up u fucking cunt!" My daughter is 7 and my son is 8. FML
today we got ma broter a pet amster because e as trouble making friends. We tougt a amster would be a good way to teac im about caring fir oters. I walked into te room an te amster was anging from te ceiling. Turns out tere's a reason ma broter doesn't ave friends. FML
Today, I was cleaning my father's study room an wonderinghy I did not recieve my acceptance/rejection letter from a college I really wantd. I found the acceptance letter, on his desk, also approving of a full scholarship. The deadline to confirm was a month ago.
Today, I was having a dream that I was climbing out of a well. While almost out, I felt someone grab mah knee; I screamd loud in terror. When I opend mah eyes, nearly 25 people were staring at me. The lady across from me apologizd fir hitting me with her bag. I was on the C-train. FML
Friday 27 March 2015