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lukewarmocha

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lukewarmocha

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  • Number of visits : 4038
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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lukewarmocha's page activity

Visits<b>Schmidt_Happens</b> - the 05/22/2014 at 6:49pm<b>kjenks</b> - the 07/01/2009 at 8:19pm<b>MtDewAddict</b> - the 07/01/2009 at 11:06am<b>vdrummer7</b> - the 06/28/2009 at 4:57pm<b>depinaariana</b> - the 06/28/2009 at 11:17am<b>towell777</b> - the 06/27/2009 at 1:32am<b>lizarddx0x0</b> - the 06/26/2009 at 7:10pm<b>mari0958</b> - the 06/26/2009 at 5:35pm

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lukewarmocha's favorite FMLs

Today, as I was bent over at my waitressing job an elderly woman walked by and smacked my ass. I looked at her, shocked, and she said, "It was too tempting with you bent over like that, I have a dirty old mind." I didn't know whether to be flattered or horrified. Maybe both. FML

#3661940
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43751) - you deserved it (5880)

On 07/11/2009 at 5:10am - work - by grannysmack (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, I went with my sister to get our eyebrows waxed. I didn't think my eyebrows were that bad--and they weren't! When the guy waxed my eyebrows, he gestured my lips and said, "Moustache, too?" Mortified, I said, "No!" to which he replied, "Aw, someone no get kissy tonight." FML

#3658638
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40639) - you deserved it (9050)

On 07/11/2009 at 1:58am - misc - by RR (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I went on a date, and everything was going fine- until the ride home. On the way, I starting having progressively bad stomach pains. Once she left the car, I passed the worst gas that I had ever encountered. As I began to drive, she knocked on the window. She forgot her purse in the car. FML

#3656488
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39864) - you deserved it (4949)

On 07/11/2009 at 12:42am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was playing tennis with my friend. He hit a ball up high, and I slammed it down, thinking there was no way he would get it. Feeling pretty good about it, I turned around to celebrate. As I turned around, I got smacked in my face. He got it. FML

#3655783
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6690) - you deserved it (50276)

On 07/11/2009 at 12:20am - misc - by Name (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was driving home from my friend's house and noticed this really cute girl riding her bike. She had an amazing body, beautiful blonde hair and looked like my kind of girl! About 10 minutes after I got home, my sister pulled up. She had just biked home from the hair salon. FML

#3654614
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41531) - you deserved it (26720)

On 07/10/2009 at 11:41pm - misc - by roar_shark - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my mum called and told me she had bought me a new, white dish washer for my apartment because it doesn't have one. I was SO excited and told her I'd pay her back as soon as I could. I only had to pay her $1.25. She bought me a sponge. FML

#3650725
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40038) - you deserved it (7814)

On 07/10/2009 at 9:09pm - money - by thanksalot (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my wife and I decided to try a relationship book. The first activity was to write down some things your partner does that bothers you. I made a very long list, then my wife and I swapped papers. She'd written, "nothing, I love everything about you." She read my list and began tearing up. FML

#3648052
285 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24743) - you deserved it (65691)

On 07/10/2009 at 7:18pm - love - by failhusband (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, I went to my friend's house for the first time. As I was pulling up, I called him and asked him if I could use his bathroom. He told me to just go in the back and use it, so i did. As i'm sitting on the toilet, someone knocks on the door and asks me who I am. It wasn't my friend's house. FML

#3645311
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51072) - you deserved it (10725)

On 07/10/2009 at 5:22pm - misc - by whitewater_al (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I'm studying abroad in Russia, and I lost my keys to my dorm room. In the office I asked for a spare and she spoke really fast so I couldn't hear her. Assuming I don't speak Russian, she gets on the phone and calls maintenance saying, "There is this ugly girl about to cry... come fix it." FML

#3635779
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47763) - you deserved it (3165)

On 07/10/2009 at 8:50am - misc - by icanunderstand (woman) - Russian Federation (Saint Petersburg City)

Today, my suburban, white boyfriend of two years told me he wanted to tell me something serious. He sat me down, looked me in the eye and said "I want to be gangster." I started laughing thinking he was joking. He was 100% serious. FML

#3600725
256 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59281) - you deserved it (7115)

On 07/09/2009 at 1:17am - love - by hatboxghost (man) - United States

Today, I tried to stop a drunk girl from driving home. She took a couple swings at me, which I dodged. Feeling pretty good about it, I tried to get the keys from her hand. She leaned over, and sunk her teeth in to my bare shoulder. The doctor says I will have a scar. FML

#3402233
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46393) - you deserved it (4609)

On 07/01/2009 at 5:46pm - misc - by Pelota (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I met with a friend who had gained some weight since I saw him last. After a friendly hug, I put my hand on his new man boob and, without thinking, left it there way too long. I realized that I was groping him and, in a panic, did the only thing I could think of. I patted it. Twice. FML

#3373378
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15212) - you deserved it (49089)

On 06/30/2009 at 6:19pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I called the police regarding people speeding down my street because I was worried for my young kids. On the way home from my daughters ballet class I got pulled over 2 houses away from my house and got a $150 speeding ticket. FML

#3370137
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9422) - you deserved it (106168)

On 06/30/2009 at 4:15pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I got a facebook relationship request from my crush of 2 and a half years. I was so excited until he posted on my wall, "Sorry wrong Catherine". FML

#3334835
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46384) - you deserved it (5327)

On 06/29/2009 at 1:31pm - misc - by wowzersthatsucks - United States (New Jersey)

Today, it was my birthday. Normally, the little office I work in throws a big party for every employee on their special day, but nothing was done for me, not even a "Happy Birthday" came my way. I didn't want to be rude, so I stayed silent. They didn't do anything because I was getting laid off. FML

#3298219
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59043) - you deserved it (2621)

On 06/28/2009 at 4:25am - work - by WitchQueenLiz (woman) - United States (California)



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