lukep135

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lukep135

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 756
  • Number of comments : 74
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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lukep135's page activity

Visits<b>prajju99</b> - the 04/30/2015 at 5:08am<b>jared4141</b> - the 06/24/2014 at 6:02pm<b>Iwtumn</b> - the 05/20/2014 at 6:02am<b>mooeyyy</b> - the 09/18/2013 at 8:52pm<b>fluffaholic</b> - the 07/23/2013 at 9:26am<b>Evgeny2222</b> - the 03/12/2013 at 2:29pm<b>SillyGirl4602</b> - the 03/12/2013 at 6:46am<b>Bart_Simpson</b> - the 03/01/2013 at 9:32pm<b>DocBastard</b> - the 08/29/2012 at 10:06am<b>Omegadolly</b> - the 04/17/2012 at 2:35am

lukep135's FML badges

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

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lukep135's favorite FMLs

Today, while video chatting with my girlfriend, who lives on the other side of the country, I thought I'd play a song for her on my guitar. The string broke and hit me in the face. I burst into tears and had to hang up. FML

by Anonymous / 01/21/2013 at 12:04pm / United States / Love

Today, I unwrapped my present and, to my surprise, I had gotten a repair manual for my truck. Apparently, my parents are "Tired of seeing that piece of shit in front of our house." FML

by Anonymous / 12/26/2012 at 3:30am / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous

Today, after great sex with my boyfriend, I lay in my bed while he went to get a drink from downstairs. Hearing someone come up, I shouted out as a joke, "Damn babe, I'm covered in cum, was there a hole you didn't fill?" It wasn't my boyfriend, it was my dad. FML

by cumhole / 10/09/2012 at 10:32pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, in the middle of sex, my boyfriend sighed, said "I can't do this any more" and pulled out. After repeatedly asking him what was wrong, he basically told me that I suck in bed. Apparently, the way I "just lie there" makes him feel like a necrophile. FML

by Anonymous / 09/28/2012 at 5:22pm / Canada / Intimacy

Today, I was at a party, when the cops busted us. Since I'm underage, I hid behind a chair for an hour and a half while they breathalyzed everyone and sat them in the same room I was in. The cops left, everyone realized I was behind the chair, and now my nickname is "Anne Frank". FML

by Anonymous / 04/12/2012 at 2:31pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, my ex-husband officially became my step dad. FML

by ladylarni / 04/07/2012 at 4:20am / Australia / Love

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because of a bad haircut. She was the one who cut my hair. FML

by meach / 08/06/2011 at 12:58am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love

Today, I gave my girlfriend an orgasm for the first time only to realise she squeals like a baby pig in the process. FML

by Jon / 05/23/2011 at 2:46pm / United Kingdom (Essex) / Intimacy

Today, my mom sat on a pencil and started bleeding. She then made me clean the wound on her butt and put ointment on it. FML

by Anonymous / 11/29/2009 at 9:39pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Health

Today, I was home on leave and having breakfast with my parents and my younger brothers. I guess I got too used to the rougher language around the Army barracks where I'm stationed. At the breakfast table I asked my Mom to "pass me the f***ing butter". FML

by Anonymous / 05/14/2009 at 1:13pm / United States (Maine) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was home on leave and having breakfast with my parents and my younger brothers. I guess I got too used to the rougher language around the Army barracks where I'm stationed. At the breakfast table I asked my Mom to "pass me the f***ing butter". FML

by Anonymous / 05/14/2009 at 1:13pm / United States (Maine) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was masturbating on my inflatable air mattress that squeaks when you move. Suddenly, my mom busted in my room to ask if I'm okay because she thought the squeaking was my crying. I ripped my hands from my pants and turned on my side; she walked over and grabbed my hands to console me. FML

by dirtyhands / 02/18/2009 at 6:01pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, I fell asleep. I felt something on my face. I batted it away. It was my hamster. It died from a concussion upon hitting the wall. FML

by EpicFail / 02/04/2009 at 6:29pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Animals