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lukep135

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lukep135
  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Number of visits : 312
  • Number of comments : 74
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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lukep135's FML badges

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

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lukep135's favorite FMLs

Today, while video chatting with my girlfriend, who lives on the other side of the country, I thought I'd play a song for her on my guitar. The string broke and hit me in the face. I burst into tears and had to hang up. FML

#20471171
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29822) - you deserved it (7121)

On 01/21/2013 at 12:04pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I unwrapped my present and, to my surprise, I had gotten a repair manual for my truck. Apparently, my parents are "Tired of seeing that piece of shit in front of our house." FML

#20423026
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11900) - you deserved it (19104)

On 12/26/2012 at 3:30am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, after great sex with my boyfriend, I lay in my bed while he went to get a drink from downstairs. Hearing someone come up, I shouted out as a joke, "Damn babe, I'm covered in cum, was there a hole you didn't fill?" It wasn't my boyfriend, it was my dad. FML

#20109762
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14253) - you deserved it (55653)

On 10/09/2012 at 10:32pm - intimacy - by cumhole (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, in the middle of sex, my boyfriend sighed, said "I can't do this any more" and pulled out. After repeatedly asking him what was wrong, he basically told me that I suck in bed. Apparently, the way I "just lie there" makes him feel like a necrophile. FML

#20092519
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9710) - you deserved it (39547)

On 09/28/2012 at 5:22pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada

Today, I was at a party, when the cops busted us. Since I'm underage, I hid behind a chair for an hour and a half while they breathalyzed everyone and sat them in the same room I was in. The cops left, everyone realized I was behind the chair, and now my nickname is "Anne Frank". FML

#19455929
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11934) - you deserved it (30219)

On 04/12/2012 at 2:31pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my ex-husband officially became my step dad. FML

#19421919
386 comments

I agree, your life sucks (82648) - you deserved it (4000)

On 04/07/2012 at 4:20am - love - by ladylarni - Australia

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because of a bad haircut. She was the one who cut my hair. FML

#17383595
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31016) - you deserved it (3424)

On 08/06/2011 at 12:58am - love - by meach - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I gave my girlfriend an orgasm for the first time only to realise she squeals like a baby pig in the process. FML

#16313675
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33765) - you deserved it (8312)

On 05/23/2011 at 2:46pm - intimacy - by Jon - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, my mom sat on a pencil and started bleeding. She then made me clean the wound on her butt and put ointment on it. FML

#6522437
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28786) - you deserved it (4078)

On 11/29/2009 at 9:39pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was masturbating on my inflatable air mattress that squeaks when you move. Suddenly, my mom busted in my room to ask if I'm okay because she thought the squeaking was my crying. I ripped my hands from my pants and turned on my side; she walked over and grabbed my hands to console me. FML

#70419
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22352) - you deserved it (54287)

On 02/18/2009 at 6:01pm - intimacy - by dirtyhands (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I fell asleep. I felt something on my face. I batted it away. It was my hamster. It died from a concussion upon hitting the wall. FML

#8687
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31337) - you deserved it (12045)

On 02/04/2009 at 6:29pm - animals - by EpicFail (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)



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  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

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