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lufi

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lufi

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  • Number of visits : 169
  • Number of comments : 3
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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lufi's favorite FMLs

Today, my husband thought it would be hilarious to slip a little fake blood into the bathtub while I was relaxing in it, eyes closed. When I opened my eyes, the water was one big cloud of red. I screamed so loud that I might as well have been dying, and yes, he recorded everything. FML

#21153463
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48282) - you deserved it (6368)

On 05/27/2014 at 2:47pm - misc - by N O - Canada (Ontario)

Today, one of my year 9 students finished the test an hour early. He decided to spend the time by "stealthily" whacking off. His entire desk was shaking in a silent room. FML

Today, while driving out to the countryside with my new boyfriend, we came across a deer lying in the road. It seemed badly hurt, but instead of letting me get out and make sure, my boyfriend decided to just run over its head to finish it off, then continued driving with a smirk on his face. FML

#21138836
394 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53011) - you deserved it (8385)

On 05/13/2014 at 5:02pm - animals - by dating a big bag of dicks (woman) - United States

Today, to teach my 14-year-old son a serious lesson for bullying a child at school again, I grounded him for the rest of the year. He just snorted and said, "Cool, I'll just jack off all year then! Thanks, mum!" and happily retreated to his bedroom. FML

#21132433
248 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42728) - you deserved it (8192)

On 05/06/2014 at 2:38pm - kids - by Satan's Mum (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I was babysitting a 9-year-old kid, when she got thirsty and asked for a drink. All I could find was some kind of Mexican fruit drink, but I didn't realize until too late that it was actually hard liquor. I had to scrub her mouth out with toothpaste and put her to bed to cover it all up. FML

#21116530
251 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25359) - you deserved it (42988)

On 04/18/2014 at 5:31pm - kids - by cantprovenothing (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend let me be the first one to read the novel he dropped out of college to write. Turns out it's titled "A Brief History of Ass" and is an incoherent ramble about every time we've had anal sex. FML

#20989324
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50413) - you deserved it (8000)

On 12/11/2013 at 7:51pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my neighbor brought a ruined napkin holder over and claimed that we drilled a hole through his wall and ruined it. I apologized, not telling him that it was actually a bullet that my boyfriend shot through the wall. FML

#20974338
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22586) - you deserved it (35863)

On 11/29/2013 at 12:53am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I went with my boyfriend to meet his parents. I had to excuse myself to use the bathroom, and I ended up taking a huge crap that wouldn't flush. I had to reach in and break it up with my hands just so it would flush. Only after I washed up did I notice a plunger sitting under the sink. FML

#20959868
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22649) - you deserved it (43735)

On 11/16/2013 at 2:31pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, my mum staggered home, piss drunk. When I tried to walk her to her room, she shoved me away and cursed at me for being a "goody two-shoes". She then slurred "I fucked your mum", and informed me that my mum is a skank. That's good to know, mum. FML

#20958646
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40583) - you deserved it (2723)

On 11/15/2013 at 12:49pm - misc - by mummer11 (woman) - Ireland

Today, I was refereeing a soccer match and I called a foul. An angry coach kept screaming at me, saying "You're crazy!" I asked him to leave the field. As he left, he lifted his middle finger and screamed, "FUCK YOU!" I ref 5-year-olds. FML

#20937864
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43788) - you deserved it (2997)

On 10/29/2013 at 12:21pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)

Today, a hornet thought it would be fun to fly into a candle that I had lit. As the hornet burned to death, it flung its charred body at my face, which is more painful than it sounds. FML

#20936891
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39529) - you deserved it (3088)

On 10/28/2013 at 4:18pm - misc - by Asshole hornet - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I witnessed my boyfriend taking a dump in the litter box. He said he wanted to know what it felt like for the cat. FML

#20930986
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44350) - you deserved it (5333)

On 10/23/2013 at 12:04pm - animals - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I sent my boyfriend a text asking him to come over a little later and have some "fun" with me. He texted back, "WTF babe? Breaking Bad's on tonight. You got a dildo, fucking use it." FML

#20900698
292 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61143) - you deserved it (25692)

On 09/29/2013 at 3:46pm - intimacy - by -___- (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I broke up with my abusive girlfriend. She responded by breaking into my place and stabbing my hamster with a fork. FML

#20898181
281 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66702) - you deserved it (4059)

On 09/27/2013 at 4:33pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I got screamed at by a woman at work for feeding her 3-week-old infant formula instead of the bottled Kool-Aid that she packed. FML

#20854260
252 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45496) - you deserved it (2961)

On 08/25/2013 at 9:28pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)



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