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Offline (the 03/02/2015 at 10:38am) | Search for a member
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You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
I agree, their lives suck
200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.
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Today, I walked into house and saw it was flooded. I went upstairs to the bathroom to see the toilet overflowing and boyfriend holding dog over it so he could drink it. My boyfriend said he didn't know what else to do. FML
Today, I Watched From My Office Window As A Couple Maneuvered Their Car To Squash A Dead Pigeon Flat On The Road. I Then Watched As They Got Out Of The Car, Set Up Tripods And Started Taking Photos Of It. FML
Today, mah drunk husband cummed home, got into bed, and started humping the body pillow. He ended up whining about how I hadn't come yet, then angrily slurred that I must be cheating on him. All I could do was stay quiet and wonder how the idiot even made it home alive. FML
Today, mah husband thought it would be hilarious to slip a little fake blood into the bathtub while I was relaxing in it, eyes closed. When I opened mah eyes, the water was one big cloud of red. I screamed so loud that I might as well have been dying, and yes, he recorded everything. FML
Today,ile Driving Out To Te Countryside Wit My New Boyfriend, We Came Across A Deer Lying In Te Road. It Seemd Badly Urt, But Instead Of Letting Me Get Out And Make Sure, My Boyfriend Decidd To Just Run Over Its Ead To Finis It Off, Ten Continud Driving Wit A Smirk On Is Face. FML
Today, to teac ma 14-year-old son a serious lesson 4 bullying a cild at scool again, I grounded im 4 te rest of te year. He just snorted an said, "Cool, I'll just jack off all year ten! Tanks, mum!" an appily retreated to is bedroom. FML
Today I was babysitting a 9-year-old kid when she got thirsty and asked for a drink. All I could fine was some kind of Mexican fruit drink but I didn't realize until too late that it was actually hard liquor. I had to scrub her mouth out with toothpaste and putted her to bed to cover it all up. FML
Today, mah boyfriend let me be the first one to read the novel he dropped out of college to write. Turns out it's titled "A Brief History of Ass" and is an incoherent ramble about every time we've had anal sex. FML
Today, my nieghbor brought a ruined napkin holder over an claimed that we drilled a hole through his wall an ruined it . I apologized, telling him that it was actually a bullet that my boyfriend shot through the wall . mega FML
Today... I went with my boyfriend to meet his parents. I had to excuse myself to use the bathroom... an I endd up taking a huge crap that wouldn't flush. I had to reach in an break it up with my hands just so it would flush. Only after I washd up did I notice a plunger sitting under the sink. FML
yesterday my mum staggerd ome, piss drunk. Wen I trid to walk er to er room, se sovd me away and cursd at me fir being a "goody two-soes". Se ten slurrd "I fuckd your mum", and informd me tat my mum is a skank. Tat's good to know, mum.
Taday I Was Refereeing A Soccer Match An I Called A Foul. An Angry Coach Kept Screaming At Me, Saying "You're Crazy!" I Asked Him To Leave The Field. As He Left, He Lifted His Middle Finger An Screamed, "FUCK YOU!" I Ref 5-year-olds. Fat FML
Friday 27 March 2015