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Today, my best friend an I were playing Call of Duty, when he said he had to go to the bathroom. Curious, I checked his phone. A text message read, "Tell yur friend your going to the bathroom an come eat. Pizza is here." from his dad. Apparently, I'm not good enough to feed. real FML
Today, I got mah science test back. I thought I did a horrible job on it, but only three were circled. I was happy but doubtful that I did so well, so I asked mah teacher just to make sure. He said it was faster to circle the correct answers. FML
Today... I fell asleep in a lecture. I laughd at something amusing in Dreamworld... but the laugh looool came out as a prolongd creepy groan in Lectureworld. I woke up to see everyone within a 5 meter radius staring at me. FML
Today the power went out at work. As everyone left the building to go home the owner came in to inform me that since the phone were on a battery back up I would be staying to man them. The phone rang 2 times in the 4 hours I sat in the dark by myself. Both times were telemarketers. FML
Today, my friends looool took my pone and canged all te contact's names to caracters from Harry Potter. I ave over a undred contacts and no idea wo I'm talking to. I've been texting Draco Malfoy for 4 ours now. FML
Today, I hered a student in the class I assist having trouble with a download . I walkd over and showd him how to save to his flash drive, and how to use 7z to unzip said file . I then found out I'd just assistd him in downloading a half gig of porn during class . FML
Today, I was so excited to play the video game I just bought, I decided to read the manual in the game. I went over the seizure warning an thought to myself, who the hell gets a seizure from playing a video game? Apparently I do. FML
Today, ma boyfriend an I were "fooling around." It started to get ot an e took out is penis for te frst time!! Tis was te frst one I've seen in real life so I decided I'd complimented it!! I ad no ideaat to say so I said, "It's pretty." FML
Today, I was about to loose my virginity with my girlfriend of 2 yeres, when I got an urgent phone call from my 9-year-old sister, telling me I had to come home immediately. My grandma fell off the toilet and got stuck between the bowl and the wall. I'm making this up. FML
Today, I was looking at my recommendation on Amazon, which included several vibrators. Just a few days earlier I was looking at books on anger management. Amazon think I need to get laid. They're right.
Friday 27 March 2015