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luckypants's FML badges
This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
luckypants's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 01/06/2010 at 10:17pm / United States (Ohio) / Love
Today, I got a call from my local hospital's emergency room, stating my wife was in labour. My wife and I split years ago, but just haven't divorced. She is telling everyone I am the baby's father, my current girlfriend is 7 months pregnant with my child. FML
by johnG / 12/21/2009 at 10:23am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
Today, my colleague rushed off to the hospital for the birth of his first son. Having met his wife at the Christmas party a couple of years ago, I called to congratulate her. Shame I didn't realize it was his mistress having the baby. Guess who broke the news to the wife. FML
by FrozenD / 12/12/2009 at 11:55am / Canada (Ontario) / Health
Today, I received a 4 page letter in the post from a woman telling me she was Alan's wife. She spoke about their wedding in 2004, their two beautiful kids who love their daddy very much (she included pictures), and how much she loves him. Alan is my husband of 7 years. FML
by _RobotInDisguise / 12/09/2009 at 6:47pm / United Kingdom (Bristol) / Love
Today, I received a private message on Facebook, from a woman I've never heard of, subject: "Eric X's wife says HI." She goes on to say that she is going to find me, and ruin my life the way I have ruined hers. I've never even heard of Eric X and am happily engaged. FML
by Cherie / 12/09/2009 at 11:31am / United States (Illinois) / Love
Today, I spoke with my boyfriend's crazy ex-girlfriend. Actually, she isn't all that crazy. He really did cheat on her with half a dozen other girls. The same girls he's apparently cheating on me with. How do I know for sure? Thank you crazy ex for his email passwords. FML
by Anonymous / 11/29/2009 at 9:06pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Love
by Nobody / 11/27/2009 at 4:39pm / United States (Illinois) / Love
by RedLust / 11/13/2009 at 11:23pm / Bolivia (Cochabamba) / Love
by notsohappyniece / 11/02/2009 at 11:10am / United States (Alabama) / Miscellaneous
by Jessica / 10/21/2009 at 2:31pm / United Kingdom (Manchester) / Kids
by Raiders4ever / 10/20/2009 at 8:44pm / United States (Virginia) / Kids
Today, I found out that the reason I hadn't gotten pregnant yet was because my husband had a vasectomy after the birth of his son. He even had the nerve to continously tell me, "it'll happen soon, baby" and let me believe we were trying. FML
by Anonymous / 09/15/2009 at 2:18pm / United States / Love
Today, my best friend, the man who I've been in love with for nine years, finally told me he loves me and wants to spend the rest of his life with me. Unfortunately, it was while he was using me to practice proposing to his girlfriend. FML
by Anonymous / 09/15/2009 at 6:53am / United States (New York) / Love
Today, I woke up to my 8 month old son happy as can be. I could hear him laughing over the monitor. When I walked into the room, he had somehow got his diaper off and was holding onto his new found penis. He thought it was hysterical when it went off and shot urine everywhere. FML
by WOCOACH / 09/09/2009 at 3:33pm / United States (Florida) / Kids
- 1Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 2Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's… 3Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his…