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luckypants's FML badges
This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
luckypants's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 04/02/2012 at 8:32pm / United States (Texas) / Health
by Major3 / 03/10/2012 at 9:16pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 01/21/2012 at 3:38pm / United States (Illinois) / Money
Today, when I excitedly announced to my mother-in-law that I was pregnant, she looked at me with a blank expression and asked me who the father was. She's 45. She's not senile or suffering from dementia, but apparently just suffering from being a chronic bitch. FML
by littlelottie / 01/17/2012 at 12:04pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
Today, I'll be sleeping in my car for umpteenth time this year, because my psychotic wife is again convinced that I'm sleeping with practically every woman in my state. I'm too broke to pay for a divorce, and too embarrassed to go to a friend's house. FML
by agony / 12/16/2011 at 10:29pm / United States (New York) / Love
by bgoodwin07 / 11/29/2011 at 8:31am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
by Aleial / 11/19/2011 at 3:20am / United States / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 11/03/2011 at 3:29am / United States (Florida) / Intimacy
Today, I was using my boyfriend's phone to call my mom. A text message arrived from "Christina" that said, "Just put the kids to bed, come over." He swears they're only work buddies, but refuses to tell her he has a girlfriend, to avoid making things weird at work. We've been together two years. FML
by Beantown girl / 10/30/2011 at 8:58pm / United States / Love
by Anonymous / 10/30/2011 at 2:32am / Canada (Alberta) / Love
Today, my brother in law got into a fight with my husband. My pregnant sister was yelling at her husband to stop beating my husband up. When I came into the room, I asked why they were fighting. You'll never guess who the real father of my sister's baby is. FML
by Good sister / 10/13/2011 at 7:20pm / United States (Georgia) / Love
by Anonymous / 10/08/2011 at 9:04am / United States (Texas) / Love
Today, my fiancé told me his ex-wife was 5 weeks pregnant. I was happy for her, and glad she had finally moved on. Until I found out who the father was. They're moving back in together, for the baby's sake. FML
by xOdaatx / 09/26/2011 at 9:01am / Australia / Love
by Anonymous / 09/24/2011 at 7:01pm / United States (Kentucky) / Love
- 1Today, my parents let me babysit my baby sister for the first time. About an hour after they left,… 2Today, I saw an elderly lady fall over in the street. Nobody bothered to do anything, so I went… 3Today, I was fired for being late to work, even though the only reason I was late was because I had…