lucifurby

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Offline (the 02/24/2015 at 4:23am)

lucifurby

2Fucked!

lucifurbylucifurby
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 540
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

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lucifurby's page activity

Visits<b>Relf</b> - the 04/06/2015 at 1:11am<b>Jake42100</b> - the 03/15/2015 at 12:47pm<b>pureportedpear</b> - the 03/06/2015 at 9:44am<b>TheBeast26</b> - the 02/25/2015 at 10:32pm<b>flupsht</b> - the 02/18/2015 at 10:49pm<b>A07</b> - the 02/18/2015 at 4:16pm<b>Larry01</b> - the 02/13/2015 at 7:57am<b>Faddyy6</b> - the 02/08/2015 at 4:46pm<b>sam882</b> - the 01/18/2015 at 11:44pm<b>colton_colton</b> - the 01/18/2015 at 12:33am<b>Darkness_Hate</b> - the 01/17/2015 at 3:30pm<b>_kyleG_</b> - the 01/11/2015 at 11:58pm<b>Codyfootball</b> - the 01/06/2015 at 10:48pm<b>michaelf461</b> - the 01/02/2015 at 9:22am<b>Queen_Bitch69</b> - the 01/01/2015 at 8:31pm<b>stuckintime</b> - the 12/29/2014 at 6:33am<b>brasiliano</b> - the 12/28/2014 at 8:47pm<b>KRAZYKILLAKLOWN</b> - the 12/27/2014 at 7:43pm

Fucked!<b>MomentoMori</b> - the 12/23/2014 at 8:03pm<b>ComoEsJuan</b> - the 11/20/2014 at 12:12am

lucifurby's FML badges

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

See all of lucifurby's badges

lucifurby's favorite FMLs

Today, while in my backyard, I had some insane gastric distress. I let out a fart so powerful that it made me yelp in pain, and left my asshole numb. A second later, I heard a cough come from over my neighbor's fence. I had to quietly limp back into my house in shame. FML

by soundslikeadumbcommentersituation / 07/11/2014 at 4:34pm / Canada (Ontario) / Health

Today, my husband told me he was going to search from store to store in order to find my birthday gift. What was he really doing? His girlfriend. FML

by rozsrredd / 07/08/2014 at 1:41am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love

Today, I sent my girlfriend a request to confirm our relationship on Facebook. She accepted, then changed her screen name into "His Hand". FML

by MiserableMan / 06/10/2014 at 12:02am / Vietnam (Ho Chi Minh) / Love

Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to my wife muttering "God, I want you so bad". Figuring she was either talking to me or longing for the second cumming of Christ, I turned over to see which. Turned out she was rubbing one out to some guy's Facebook photos on her phone. FML

by lahiros / 05/30/2014 at 6:05pm / Australia (Victoria) / Intimacy

Today, while I was making dinner, my husband argued that our new dog has intelligence issues, and we should give him away. I angrily defended the poor thing, and had almost won, until the dog walked over and licked the inside of the hot oven door. FML

by Anonymous / 04/30/2014 at 1:17am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Animals

Today, my girlfriend and I were about to have sex for the first time when her mother unexpectedly came home. In the rush to get dressed, we accidentally put on each other's shirts. Her mom noticed. FML

by lez probs / 05/18/2013 at 8:54am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I introduced my boyfriend to my parents. My dad looked at him and said, "Nice outfit, but it's a little late for Halloween." Before I could intervene, my boyfriend said that joke had been done to death, to which my dad retorted, "Yeah, so has your mum." Instant fistfight. FML

by for fuck sake dad / 11/02/2012 at 7:50pm / Ireland (Limerick) / Love

Today, an incredibly rude woman came in for a hairdressing appointment. I had to put up with being yelled at and called a "clumsy bitch," a "pleb," and other insults for almost half an hour. When I finally managed to finish her hair, instead of tipping me, she spat at my feet and stormed out. FML

by scumdresser / 09/29/2012 at 4:34pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, the subject of penis size came up while my boyfriend and I were chatting. He asked if he was big, and I replied that whatever size he was, he was enough to satisfy me. Apparently, that was the wrong answer, and he spent the rest of the night sulking because I didn't say he was enormous. FML

by tellingthetruth / 03/21/2012 at 12:25pm / United Kingdom (Warwickshire) / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend and I broke up. When I got home from work, I came home to glitter. EVERYWHERE. Guess who forgot to get the key to his apartment back from his ex-girlfriend. The guy who's having his family over for dinner tonight. FML

by Anonymous / 09/15/2010 at 7:34pm / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, my boyfriend decided it would be funny to record us having sex and me screaming his name. He set it as my ringtone without telling me. I had my phone volume on high as I was hanging out with my family. FML

by XxMe123xx / 08/18/2010 at 8:51pm / Intimacy

Today, at work I was playing football with one of my camp kids in the indoor-pool. I saw a co-worker walking by and I decided to hit him with the football. The football slipped out of my hand and I hit a lady in the face, breaking her nose, and causing her to fall and get a concussion. FML

by Icci / 12/12/2009 at 5:54pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, at school, I got stuck in the elevator and was about to panic before I remembered I had my phone. I called my mother and she called the school to tell them that I was stuck. They got me out in a few minutes and then confiscated my phone and gave me two detentions for using it in school. FML

by noexceptions / 11/11/2009 at 12:16am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, I came home to find a sock I previously used to whack off on my bed with googly eyes and a mouth drawn on it with a note that read "Because you can't find a real girl, I made your current one prettier, Love Mom." FML

by Anonymous / 04/02/2009 at 1:13am / United States (Oregon) / Intimacy

Today, the cute boy in my biology class I had been crushing on invited me over to study for a huge test. Once I got to his house, I really had to use the bathroom. I ended ending up taking a huge dump and clogging up his toilet. He had to come plunge it for me. FML

by musicaddict / 03/10/2009 at 4:42pm / United States (Texas) / Love