Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
About lucasven : My main thing in life is music: I play guitar, I produce a bit of music, I collect vynil with my brother, I've got technics (DJ decks) at home which I use quite a lot, I'm in a band and I've already played a couple gigs.
I listen to a wiiiddeeee range of music like rock, so stuff like the cure, the white stripes, black lips, Jimi Hendrix, led zepplin etc .. I also listen to a lot of hiphop, a lot of uk hip hop and old skool hip hop like gang starr, wu tang, tribe n all that I also listen to a lot of jungle and garage some reggae, jazz a looot more it would take much too long to explain everything, but overall it's mostly rock, hip hop, jungle and garage probably ... And that's only my music life explained briefly
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, after having bought my daughter a complete set of new school clothes, she threw a tantrum and refused to wear them. I told her she could either wear them, or go to school naked. She made if half-way down the street in the nude before I caught up and dragged her back inside. FML
Today, I was invited to my boyfriend's house for dinner for the first time. His mom made a fantastic dinner, so I showed my appreciation by eating the lot. Apparently I was overdoing it because when I looked up everyone was staring. His dad muttered, "Slow the hell down." FML
Today, I walked in to my apartment to see my husband sitting there with his toes painted pink. When I asked him why, he said, "I wanted to feel pretty." This is the man who is about to be the father of my child. FML
Today, I bitched out my boyfriend for logging into my facebook account and deleting EVERY male (even family) off my friends list. He accused me of wanting to cheat on him and has forced me to say "sorry." FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were asleep. Evidently, he was dreaming about being a UFC fighter, because, out of no where, he grabs the back of my head and punches me in the nose. I haven't been able to breathe right out of my nose all day. FML
Today, I went on a date with a guy for the first time. We went to Starbucks and got coffee. We talked for a while, and we were joking and having a good time. Suddenly, he put his hand on my stomach and said, "Soon, this will be plump with my seed." FML
Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML
Friday 12 December 2014