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lpark224

Offline (the 09/05/2014 at 3:39pm) | Search for a member

lpark224

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  • Number of visits : 84
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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lpark224's page activity

Visits<b>Natashazie</b> - the 09/18/2013 at 2:38pm

lpark224's FML badges

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lpark224's favorite FMLs

Today, I sprayed down some ants in my house. In the sea of ant corpses was a single living ant seemingly cradling a dead one in its arms. I'm convinced I just became the villain in an epic tragedy. Now I have to live with my ant problem because I can't bear to tear another family apart. FML

#20824961
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48003) - you deserved it (23090)

On 08/07/2013 at 1:40am - animals - by Blood on my hands (woman) - United States

Today, I realized that my anger problems have gotten out of hand, when I shouted "Fuck you!" at my toaster. My mood swings and loneliness have also reached a new high, evidently, as my next actions were to apologize to the appliance and then continue talking to it. FML

#20823279
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45806) - you deserved it (8961)

On 08/06/2013 at 2:19am - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I found out my "wonderful" boyfriend was recently dumped by another woman, not just after he started stalking her, but after he wrote her a love letter in his own blood. FML

#20792358
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50206) - you deserved it (3696)

On 07/19/2013 at 1:34pm - love - by cheated (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, after more than six years of working my ass off, I finally summoned the courage to ask my boss for a raise. She just chuckled, "I'm gonna need you to eat a dick, John." and stared at me unblinking until I awkwardly left. FML

#20790691
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46600) - you deserved it (3803)

On 07/18/2013 at 3:53pm - work - by no new apartment for me (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my boyfriend proposed to me at his parents' house. I was overjoyed. His mom hugged me with tears in her eyes. His father, who never really spoke before, hugged me a few hours later when we were alone, his hands traveling to my ass and whispering, "I can change your mind." FML

#20788139
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67799) - you deserved it (3952)

On 07/17/2013 at 10:20am - misc - by ilivehere (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, after asking my psychiatrist about natural alternatives to medication for my depression, she replied, "Why not Zoidberg?" FML

#20744996
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30603) - you deserved it (5726)

On 06/24/2013 at 6:12pm - health - by thanksdoc (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend was extremely nervous to meet my parents but I made him do it anyway. One of the first things out of his mouth was, "I'm glad you had sex." When they gave him a look of shock, he added, "You know, when you made your daughter! She's awesome!" FML

Today, my parents gave me a sock and card for my eighteenth birthday. The card said, "Now that Dobby is free, get out." FML

#20118693
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27868) - you deserved it (3426)

On 10/15/2012 at 9:19pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today, I dropped a whole batch of penis-shaped cookies on the floor. Then I thought, "5-second rule" and started eating them. And then I realized that I was home alone, in pajamas, eating broken dick-cookies off the floor. FML

#20081762
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21963) - you deserved it (12264)

On 09/21/2012 at 3:31am - misc - by RawrSparkle (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went out in a storm to collect my wheelie bin, which had flown down the street. On the way back to my house, I realised my door had slammed shut and locked behind me. That's okay though, a trampoline decided to smash my window and let me in. FML

Today, my son is going through a rebellious phase. He's taken to wearing leather and chains, listening to death metal music all day in his room alone, and screaming at me in public places. He was fired from his part-time job for swearing at customers. My son is 29 years old. FML

#16876528
277 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42190) - you deserved it (12373)

On 06/27/2011 at 2:26am - kids - by SheenaL (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was in the elevator with my boss, when I let rip the vilest, most horrifying fart of my life as we left the first floor. We stood in silence as the elevator slowly ascended to the 21st floor, leaving us to marinate in the fumes. FML

#16516164
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16618) - you deserved it (41421)

On 06/05/2011 at 4:45pm - misc - by - United States

Today, my 400 pound roommate brought home a 400 pound guy. Now there's 800 pounds of sex going on in the next room, and it sounds like the invasion of Normandy in there. FML

#14835077
271 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69821) - you deserved it (6568)

On 02/04/2011 at 12:42am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my cousin and I found out that when a girl puts a flower in the right side of her hair, it means she's available. The bigger the flower, the more available she is. My eleven year old boy cousin told me to "cut down a palm tree and put it in my hair". FML

#2671287
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65293) - you deserved it (6641)

On 06/06/2009 at 8:38pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I went on a date with a guy for the first time. We went to Starbucks and got coffee. We talked for a while, and we were joking and having a good time. Suddenly, he put his hand on my stomach and said, "Soon, this will be plump with my seed." FML

#836792
927 comments

I agree, your life sucks (353561) - you deserved it (38789)

On 04/06/2009 at 3:39pm - misc - by creepermagnet (woman) - United States (Maryland)



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