This member hasn't filled in their description.
lp102400's FML badges
Checking you out
You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.
That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
Who’s the fairest of them all?
This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
lp102400's favorite FMLs
by gag reflex / 08/16/2014 at 12:03pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Intimacy
Today, I found out my girlfriend has been cheating on me. When I told my sister, she just smiled, held up a closed fist, and said "Look at the number of fucks I give!" She then raised a finger, said "Oops. Finger spasm!" then lowered it again. FML
by meltdowninrels / 08/15/2014 at 6:09pm / New Zealand (Wellington) / Love
by Anonymous / 07/11/2014 at 7:03am / United States (Massachusetts) / Kids
Today, some pig slapped my ass as he passed me in the street, then looked back at me with a dirty grin. His grin turned to horror when he realized that I'm actually a guy, then to anger as he bitched me out for "tricking" him by "looking like a chick". FML
by 404: sense not found / 06/08/2014 at 2:32pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Idk / 05/29/2014 at 2:46am / United States (Florida) / Animals
by chevygirl51 / 05/28/2014 at 5:12pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I went on a date. As I hugged him, I felt tingles. As a big believer in clichés, I thought it was the tingles of falling in love. Turns out, it was my allergic reaction to his cologne. I now look like I burned my face. FML
by Burning Love / 03/15/2014 at 3:35am / United States (Arizona) / Love
Today, I was on drive-thru where I work. Our policy is that we can give free treats to dogs that come through. A woman came in and I noticed her dog. Without a thought, I grabbed a treat and asked if her dog wanted one. I looked again. The 'dog' was her daughter. FML
by Treats For Days / 07/19/2013 at 9:54am / Canada (Alberta) / Work
Today, I have to defend my client in court. The defense that my client wants me to use is, "It's not a robbery if you have swag" and then goes on saying, "The judge is bound to let me go after he sees my swag." FML
by Anonymous / 05/22/2013 at 9:57pm / Canada (Ontario) / Work
Today, over a family dinner, my husband and I told everyone that I'm pregnant. My father frowned and said, "Again?", my 9-year-old daughter started crying, and her brother smirked and yelled, "Up the ass, no babies!" FML
by Anonymous / 10/28/2012 at 12:44pm / United States / Kids
by jaderie / 04/21/2012 at 5:26am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous
by TuteSweet / 08/12/2011 at 2:17am / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous
by crazygirl12 / 07/29/2011 at 11:18am / United States (Missouri) / Work
by Anonymous / 10/17/2010 at 2:28am / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous
by Oops / 08/27/2010 at 12:06am / United States (Colorado) / Love
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, I was eating my lunch. When I opened my mouth to eat a spoonful of rice, a bee flew right…