lowj007

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lowj007

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2835
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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lowj007's page activity

Visits<b>danm_1</b> - the 05/16/2016 at 1:53pm<b>foampositedaddy</b> - the 02/19/2016 at 4:15am<b>Tripartita</b> - the 01/26/2016 at 9:10am<b>Softballover1991</b> - the 09/19/2015 at 1:35am<b>TheLostCauseFML</b> - the 09/06/2015 at 12:09pm<b>giantsfan2010</b> - the 07/12/2015 at 10:27pm<b>ksks1234</b> - the 02/26/2015 at 10:31pm<b>Raleaf</b> - the 10/19/2014 at 10:52pm<b>Nsswimmer</b> - the 07/04/2014 at 7:34am<b>AllyCady14</b> - the 12/20/2013 at 10:19pm<b>haylburg</b> - the 09/07/2013 at 11:42am<b>jadeluv</b> - the 08/20/2013 at 4:41am<b>mikailanicole98</b> - the 08/03/2013 at 2:31am<b>Wizardo</b> - the 07/17/2013 at 4:45pm<b>punkyboy</b> - the 07/12/2013 at 10:10pm<b>graceinsheepwear</b> - the 07/11/2013 at 1:12pm<b>KiddoKS</b> - the 07/06/2013 at 11:29pm<b>MadMaddyson</b> - the 07/01/2013 at 1:51am

Fucked!<b>TheLostCauseFML</b> - the 09/06/2015 at 6:09pm

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lowj007's favorite FMLs

Today, as if to prove that there is no end to the unspeakable stupidity of the human race, a patient was brought into my hospital, needing a cellphone removed from his anus. FML

by Anonymous / 09/08/2013 at 12:38pm / Switzerland (Bern) / Work

Today, I read a seemingly serious article online about giving your smartphone some extra charge by putting it in the microwave for one minute. My phone is now fried. FML

by Anonymous / 09/02/2013 at 4:37pm / United States (Arkansas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got home from work a little late due to bad traffic. My wife kissed me, then flew into a rage and swore that I had the taste of penis on my lips, accusing me of cheating on her with a guy. Apparently she got this insane "test your man" idea from some Cosmo-type magazine. FML

by Anonymous / 08/30/2013 at 12:14pm / United States (Washington) / Love

Today, my little sister opened a lemonade stand in front of our house. Surprisingly, she actually had a lot of customers, all kids. Two hours or so later, some parents came back complaining and threatening to sue my family. Turns out that what we thought was lemonade was actually beer. FML

by IronSkye / 08/29/2013 at 6:55am / Romania (Bucuresti) / Kids

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I had sex with a guy I've liked for years. There was just one problem: it was so terrible I said, "I think I might be straight" about five minutes in just so it would stop. FML

by Anonymous / 08/18/2013 at 11:56pm / United States (Missouri) / Intimacy

Today, my mother-in-law yelled from across the house for me to come quickly. She sounded frantic, so I rushed and asked what was wrong. She said, "Nothing." and that she just wanted to remind me that she hates my guts. She'll be living here with me and my wife for the next two months. FML

by Anonymous / 08/10/2013 at 5:30pm / United Kingdom (Birmingham) / Miscellaneous

Today, I asked out the man of my dreams. He told me he'd ask his dad if it was okay. I thought he was just kidding, until he pulled out his phone and called his dad. After a few minutes of "come on, dad" and "but why?" he hung up and said his dad wouldn't let him. He's 22. FML

by (._. ) / 08/06/2013 at 4:35pm / United States (Iowa) / Love

Today, I walked in on my husband putting my anti-wrinkle cream on his balls. He said, "I thought it'd help." FML

by Serum / 08/05/2013 at 12:41pm / United States (Kansas) / Intimacy

Today, I woke up to my girlfriend grinning at me, her hand on my junk. I grinned back, then looked down and saw blood smeared all over her hand and my junk. After I started screaming and crying, she laughed and said it was fake blood. She recorded everything. FML

by Anonymous / 08/04/2013 at 3:28pm / United States (Arizona) / Intimacy

Today, I've been getting calls for over a week on my home phone, cell phone, and the work phone at my night shift, in which someone whispers terrifying Satanic-sounding chants at me. I've now found out that the caller is my best "friend". His explanation: "You seemed lonely, man." FML

by newbffswelcome / 08/04/2013 at 2:07pm / Vietnam (Ha Noi) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at Basic Training for the Army when I got a package in the mail from my friends back home. You are required to open your packages in front of your drill sergeants and peers at Basic. When I opened it, it was a dildo. FML

by zackeryburch / 08/03/2013 at 9:01am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I crawled into bed with my boyfriend. He was snoring loudly which is how I knew he was passed out cold. Once I was under the blanket next to him, he slowly turned over, stared me straight in the face and said, "I have to kill you". Then started snoring again. FML

by mtr1594 / 07/31/2013 at 2:47am / United States (Nevada) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was going so slow in traffic that my GPS asked me if I wanted to switch to pedestrian mode. FML

by anonymous / 07/24/2013 at 9:31pm / United States (Illinois) / Transportation

Today, I woke up after passing out at a very small house party. I set a three drink limit, but apparently nobody listened, because there were beer cans everywhere, half my stuff was on the floor, and someone had shat in my bathtub. I had to clean all of it up alone. FML

by Anonymous / 07/18/2013 at 2:16pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, one of my cats gave birth. My other cat responded by eating the new litter in a jealous rage, then got indigestion and vomited. I had to clean up regurgitated kittens. FML

by coldstar / 07/18/2013 at 5:06am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.