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lowj007

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lowj007

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 967
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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lowj007's page activity

Visits<b>Raleaf</b> - the 10/19/2014 at 10:52pm<b>Nsswimmer</b> - the 07/04/2014 at 7:34am<b>AllyCady14</b> - the 12/20/2013 at 10:19pm<b>haylburg</b> - the 09/07/2013 at 11:42am<b>jadeluv</b> - the 08/20/2013 at 4:41am<b>mikailanicole98</b> - the 08/03/2013 at 2:31am<b>Wizardo</b> - the 07/17/2013 at 4:45pm<b>punkyboy</b> - the 07/12/2013 at 10:10pm<b>graceinsheepwear</b> - the 07/11/2013 at 1:12pm<b>KiddoKS</b> - the 07/06/2013 at 11:29pm<b>MadMaddyson</b> - the 07/01/2013 at 1:51am<b>Nilla_Please</b> - the 06/26/2013 at 1:29pm<b>InfamousRaider</b> - the 06/16/2013 at 7:06pm<b>buckdharma</b> - the 06/14/2013 at 1:16pm<b>Immekel</b> - the 06/05/2013 at 4:14pm<b>sameboysamesame</b> - the 05/27/2013 at 10:52pm<b>seniorchang</b> - the 05/20/2013 at 10:02am<b>man_in_black08</b> - the 05/12/2013 at 3:04pm

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lowj007's favorite FMLs

Today, trying to be funny in front of some friends, I held my cat above my head Lion King style. The height must have made him nervous, because he shat on my head. FML

#20788265
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27932) - you deserved it (49825)

On 07/17/2013 at 12:02pm - animals - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I placed a Bible app next to an app I use for porn, in the hope that it will encourage me to watch less porn. I'm a girl. FML

Today, I held a house party. For fun, I made sure all the beer was alcohol-free, so I could see which of my friends would be weak-minded enough to end up acting drunk. Three did. I was one of them. FML

#20782525
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23902) - you deserved it (61301)

On 07/14/2013 at 5:25pm - misc - by scheisse (woman) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)

Today, some guys were doing construction on my house, when one of them came over and started asking me about my "hot sister". That "sister" is my 13-year-old daughter. FML

#20781189
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50770) - you deserved it (4004)

On 07/14/2013 at 12:13am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I let my 3-year-old daughter watch Finding Nemo on my phone while I made her lunch. I returned to find she had dropped my phone into the fish bowl so that her goldfish could see his friends. FML

#20776430
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46686) - you deserved it (17184)

On 07/11/2013 at 7:13pm - kids - by thanks, Nemo. - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, as part of my veterinary degree, I had to demonstrate how to jerk off a dog in front of my entire class. Afterwards, the lecturer said that I have the 'magic touch'. FML

#20775868
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57713) - you deserved it (6820)

On 07/11/2013 at 11:18am - work - by vet1 (man) - South Africa (Gauteng)

Today, I got home from work early and discovered why my 17-year-old daughter's sprained elbow isn't getting any better after weeks of treatment. She can't stop giving handjobs. FML

#20764944
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67031) - you deserved it (7907)

On 07/05/2013 at 10:26am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I received a lovely letter from the council telling me I have to cease the act of "breeding and selling cats" because someone from my Facebook reported me. I'm pretty sure I've never owned a cat or had one in my house. FML

#20764172
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40196) - you deserved it (2573)

On 07/04/2013 at 10:26pm - misc - by suspicious (woman) - United States

Today, as I was enjoying a nice fish salad, my father looked me dead in the eyes and said, "Ahh, salmon. The 'other' pink meat", then winked suggestively at my mother. I don't think I can ever eat fish again. FML

#20763590
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58252) - you deserved it (4592)

On 07/04/2013 at 2:28pm - intimacy - by ugh (woman) - South Africa (KwaZulu-Natal)

Today, I found out that the same police officer who has arrested me twice has been sleeping with my wife. FML

#20731650
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (74313) - you deserved it (6770)

On 06/17/2013 at 3:56pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my grandma's new dildo arrived in the mail. We buried her yesterday. FML

#20731352
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68959) - you deserved it (3956)

On 06/17/2013 at 12:43pm - intimacy - by hinting (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my boyfriend dumped me, accusing me of lying to him about "being a hermaphrodite". His almost total lack of knowledge about female anatomy led him to believe that my clitoris is actually an extremely tiny penis. FML

#20723435
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60266) - you deserved it (5422)

On 06/13/2013 at 12:19pm - intimacy - by Hannah (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was using a public toilet, when someone in the next stall reached under, grabbed at my low-hanging toilet paper and pulled at it at an insane speed, whispering some kind of weird chant. Then he suddenly stopped, screamed, and ran out. What the hell happened in there? FML

#20723415
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47579) - you deserved it (3157)

On 06/13/2013 at 12:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I ran out of clean boxers. Thinking nobody would find out, I snatched a pair of my wife's panties. Later, we had a cook out for my birthday, where some of my old pals thought it would be funny to pants me. FML

#20721670
238 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37560) - you deserved it (68188)

On 06/12/2013 at 2:39pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. She pulled down my trousers, saw my Poke-ball boxers, and absolutely lost it. I had to lie next to her in bed for the next 10 minutes hearing her howl with laughter while crying "Dickachu, I choose you!" FML

#20711208
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55077) - you deserved it (64190)

On 06/07/2013 at 3:10am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)



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