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lowj007

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lowj007

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2502
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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lowj007's page activity

Visits<b>foampositedaddy</b> - the 02/06/2016 at 8:31am<b>Tripartita</b> - the 01/26/2016 at 9:10am<b>Softballover1991</b> - the 09/19/2015 at 1:35am<b>TheLostCauseFML</b> - the 09/06/2015 at 12:09pm<b>giantsfan2010</b> - the 07/12/2015 at 10:27pm<b>ksks1234</b> - the 02/26/2015 at 10:31pm<b>Raleaf</b> - the 10/19/2014 at 10:52pm<b>Nsswimmer</b> - the 07/04/2014 at 7:34am<b>AllyCady14</b> - the 12/20/2013 at 10:19pm<b>haylburg</b> - the 09/07/2013 at 11:42am<b>jadeluv</b> - the 08/20/2013 at 4:41am<b>mikailanicole98</b> - the 08/03/2013 at 2:31am<b>Wizardo</b> - the 07/17/2013 at 4:45pm<b>punkyboy</b> - the 07/12/2013 at 10:10pm<b>graceinsheepwear</b> - the 07/11/2013 at 1:12pm<b>KiddoKS</b> - the 07/06/2013 at 11:29pm<b>MadMaddyson</b> - the 07/01/2013 at 1:51am<b>Nilla_Please</b> - the 06/26/2013 at 1:29pm

Fucked!<b>TheLostCauseFML</b> - the 09/06/2015 at 6:09pm

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lowj007's favorite FMLs

Today, I asked out the man of my dreams. He told me he'd ask his dad if it was okay. I thought he was just kidding, until he pulled out his phone and called his dad. After a few minutes of "come on, dad" and "but why?" he hung up and said his dad wouldn't let him. He's 22. FML

#20824090
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59805) - you deserved it (4944)

On 08/06/2013 at 4:35pm - love - by (._. ) (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, I walked in on my husband putting my anti-wrinkle cream on his balls. He said, "I thought it'd help." FML

#20822001
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52958) - you deserved it (5329)

On 08/05/2013 at 12:41pm - intimacy - by Serum - United States (Kansas)

Today, I woke up to my girlfriend grinning at me, her hand on my junk. I grinned back, then looked down and saw blood smeared all over her hand and my junk. After I started screaming and crying, she laughed and said it was fake blood. She recorded everything. FML

#20820496
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (72771) - you deserved it (9579)

On 08/04/2013 at 3:28pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I've been getting calls for over a week on my home phone, cell phone, and the work phone at my night shift, in which someone whispers terrifying Satanic-sounding chants at me. I've now found out that the caller is my best "friend". His explanation: "You seemed lonely, man." FML

#20820394
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46070) - you deserved it (4521)

On 08/04/2013 at 2:07pm - misc - by newbffswelcome (man) - Vietnam (Ha Noi)

Today, I was at Basic Training for the Army when I got a package in the mail from my friends back home. You are required to open your packages in front of your drill sergeants and peers at Basic. When I opened it, it was a dildo. FML

#20818422
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64503) - you deserved it (6348)

On 08/03/2013 at 9:01am - misc - by zackeryburch - United States (California)

Today, I crawled into bed with my boyfriend. He was snoring loudly which is how I knew he was passed out cold. Once I was under the blanket next to him, he slowly turned over, stared me straight in the face and said, "I have to kill you". Then started snoring again. FML

Today, I was going so slow in traffic that my GPS asked me if I wanted to switch to pedestrian mode. FML

#20801861
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45694) - you deserved it (7972)

On 07/24/2013 at 9:31pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, I woke up after passing out at a very small house party. I set a three drink limit, but apparently nobody listened, because there were beer cans everywhere, half my stuff was on the floor, and someone had shat in my bathtub. I had to clean all of it up alone. FML

#20790528
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22286) - you deserved it (45086)

On 07/18/2013 at 2:16pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, one of my cats gave birth. My other cat responded by eating the new litter in a jealous rage, then got indigestion and vomited. I had to clean up regurgitated kittens. FML

Today, while walking into a hotel room, I passed by a full-sized mirror. My reflection scared me so badly that I punched the mirror, which then shattered and resulted in several cuts to my hand. FML

#20788837
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23222) - you deserved it (40427)

On 07/17/2013 at 5:44pm - misc - by igotsbadluck - United States (Tennessee)

Today, trying to be funny in front of some friends, I held my cat above my head Lion King style. The height must have made him nervous, because he shat on my head. FML

#20788265
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29898) - you deserved it (53042)

On 07/17/2013 at 12:02pm - animals - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I placed a Bible app next to an app I use for porn, in the hope that it will encourage me to watch less porn. I'm a girl. FML

Today, I held a house party. For fun, I made sure all the beer was alcohol-free, so I could see which of my friends would be weak-minded enough to end up acting drunk. Three did. I was one of them. FML

#20782525
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25587) - you deserved it (65341)

On 07/14/2013 at 5:25pm - misc - by scheisse (woman) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)

Today, some guys were doing construction on my house, when one of them came over and started asking me about my "hot sister". That "sister" is my 13-year-old daughter. FML

#20781189
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54190) - you deserved it (4279)

On 07/14/2013 at 12:13am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I let my 3-year-old daughter watch Finding Nemo on my phone while I made her lunch. I returned to find she had dropped my phone into the fish bowl so that her goldfish could see his friends. FML

#20776430
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49917) - you deserved it (18195)

On 07/11/2013 at 7:13pm - kids - by thanks, Nemo. - United States (Wisconsin)



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