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lowj007

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lowj007
  • Town/Country : Miami, Fl
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 204
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Today, I went to the airport after saying goodbye to my, for some reason, giggling boyfriend. I learnt why he was so cheerful when I opened my purse in front of the guards, only to find pink-furry handcuffs, and a huge dildo. They pretended not to know what it was. FML

#20556322
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39654) - you deserved it (4884)

On 03/23/2013 at 11:21am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Norway (Sor-Trondelag)

Today, I walked into the room naked while my wife was on the computer to surprise her. She smiled, put down her laptop and left for the bathroom so I started jerking it in anticipation. It was really feeling good until my wife's best friend, who was on Skype, started giggling. FML

#20550602
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37578) - you deserved it (14825)

On 03/19/2013 at 8:31am - intimacy - by fredo (man) - United States (Iowa)

Today, our dog jumped on the bed while my fiancé and I were having sex, and let out the most horrific fart. My fiancé, like a gentleman, held my nose closed while he continued banging me. FML

Today, my wife packed my lunch. Inside of my lunchbox was a photo of her eating my sandwiches. FML

#20526564
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30193) - you deserved it (6125)

On 03/01/2013 at 2:18am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend taking pictures of his penis in a condom. When I asked him what the hell he was doing he told me that he was making a stop-motion film called "All Dressed Up with Nowhere to go." FML

#20510302
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28205) - you deserved it (6233)

On 02/17/2013 at 1:45am - intimacy - by Notaplacetogo (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend and I were looking at engagement rings. When the store owner asked about our budget, my boyfriend said with a straight face, "Nothing too expensive, I have a big penis so I don't have to overcompensate by buying a big diamond." FML

#20494997
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27474) - you deserved it (5371)

On 02/05/2013 at 9:31pm - love - by NewlyDread (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, during my first day as a medical intern in a new ward, I was performing a rectal exam. My supervisor thought it would be funny to burst into the room and scream, "Who are you?! You don't even work here, you pervert!" FML

#20486562
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41304) - you deserved it (3134) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/30/2013 at 4:57pm - love - by dr mamour - Sent from mobile version

Today, after making love to my boyfriend for the first time, he shook my hand and said, "Good job." FML

#20481657
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29306) - you deserved it (4984)

On 01/27/2013 at 5:44pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, I had to slowly explain to my son that an "analogy" is a literary device, not a genre of porn. FML

#20481338
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20107) - you deserved it (1832)

On 01/27/2013 at 1:50pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, during lunch, my coworker offered me her food, claiming she was full. I was still quite hungry, so I accepted it. Halfway through eating the sandwiches, my boss walked in and started interrogating people over who took his lunch. I quickly realized I was the one eating it. FML

#20479916
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25811) - you deserved it (2450)

On 01/26/2013 at 3:44pm - work - by FUCK THE PIGS (man) - United States (California)

Today, I held a door open for a sweet old lady with a walker. After she went through the door, she turned and said, "That's not how you're gonna get into my pants, son." FML

#20466086
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29414) - you deserved it (2726)

On 01/18/2013 at 10:25am - misc - by Keastwood013 - United States

Today, my husband put some photos of our wedding on Facebook. He named the album "FML". FML

#19832174
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24009) - you deserved it (2274)

On 06/23/2012 at 1:17am - misc - by blah56 - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my boyfriend thought he could make a pregnancy test read positive by jizzing on it. FML

#19822088
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20217) - you deserved it (3066)

On 06/21/2012 at 1:30am - intimacy - by really (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I found out that my new girlfriend breastfeeds her dolls. FML

#19730259
275 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24759) - you deserved it (2157)

On 06/04/2012 at 12:34am - misc - by whattheheck - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I woke up after a night of partying and heavy drinking. Apparently word travels quickly, because everyone now knows that I spent hours lying in an empty bathtub, rubbing shampoo over my body with the expectation that it'd increase my penis size. FML

#19726729
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5660) - you deserved it (24933)

On 06/03/2012 at 1:43pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Spain (Castilla y Leon)



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