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lovewithamotive

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lovewithamotive
  • Town/Country : New Jersey
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 20 September 1993 (19 years)
  • Number of visits : 116
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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lovewithamotive's favorite FMLs

Today, I tried to show my boyfriend's mom a picture of my prom dress on my phone. She scrolled to the right to find a picture of her son, naked. FML

#20642331
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31502) - you deserved it (59062)

On 05/05/2013 at 1:44am - intimacy - by beyondembarrassed - United States

Today, I had a friend "dump" me over Facebook. She apparently thought we were dating. I'm a gay man who's lived with his partner for 5 years. She says I have commitment issues. FML

#20583902
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40739) - you deserved it (4237)

On 04/10/2013 at 6:17pm - love - by drama king? (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my boss threatened to fire me for killing him in Minecraft. FML

#20571304
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29710) - you deserved it (5480)

On 04/02/2013 at 6:30am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I had a proper look at myself in the mirror. I have recently lost 5 lbs. Turns out that it mainly shows on my boob. Not boobs. Boob. Right one only. FML

Today, I was at my job as a cashier when a man called me his "Grocery Slave." I was almost offended, but then I thought about my salary. I am a Grocery Slave. FML

Today, my daughter finally gave birth to twin boys. She informed me that she named them Peregrin Took and Meriadoc Brandybuck. My grandsons are named after Hobbits. FML

#20194616
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20369) - you deserved it (3600)

On 12/06/2012 at 11:49pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my friend showed me a video of me in a nightclub. I was holding two Skittles vodka shots and shouting, "Red and green, merry Kwanzaa!" The shots were yellow and purple. I can't remember that night at all. FML

Today, I found a limp head of celery in the fridge. I thought it looked like the squid alien baby from Men in Black. After nursing it for a couple of hours, giving it food, and rocking it to sleep, my parents found me. Then I realised it was just celery. Too bad it took that long for my meds to kick in. FML

#20151986
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13957) - you deserved it (4412)

On 11/07/2012 at 12:11am - misc - by Squid (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I learned that despite having told them two years ago, my parents still aren't accepting of me being gay. I found this out when my mom called and asked if I was "cured" yet. FML

#20131666
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18984) - you deserved it (3410)

On 10/24/2012 at 6:43pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Hawaii)

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting intimate, and I gave her a condom to put on me. She tried to open it with her teeth, but ripped it. That was my only condom. I'm now sitting here watching a soap opera with a boner. FML

#20129928
267 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22355) - you deserved it (7527)

On 10/23/2012 at 3:12pm - intimacy - by Andrew - United States

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend trying on one of my little black dresses and heels. He wanted to "see what the fuss was about." I would have been angry if the sight of him dressed like this hadn't turned me on more than he ever has in the 3 years we've been dating. FML

#20080101
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18000) - you deserved it (3655)

On 09/19/2012 at 11:09pm - intimacy - by ClaireBear150 (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my book bag was so heavy that it set off my car's passenger detection system in the front seat. I had to buckle in my textbooks. FML

#20068805
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17322) - you deserved it (2273)

On 09/12/2012 at 12:05pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend cutely climbed through my bedroom window for some sexy time. He decided he'd introduce bondage. As I was tied to the bed, completely naked, we heard the front door open. He got scared and left via the window, leaving me handcuffed to my bed. FML

Today, my girlfriend, who I've loved and dated for over a year, confessed that she's actually straight as an arrow. All this time, she's basically been using me as an accessory to enhance her "social status" and make her guy friends horny. FML

#20013891
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27425) - you deserved it (3115)

On 08/10/2012 at 6:06pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Thailand (Krung Thep)

Today, I came out to my parents. I don't really fit any stereotype, I'm just an average guy who happens to be into guys. Ten minutes later, I overheard my mother say to my step-dad, "Should we redecorate his room pink?" FML

#20008307
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21353) - you deserved it (4928)

On 08/07/2012 at 8:11pm - misc - by ohai95 (man) - United Kingdom (West Sussex)



Orinocou's illustrated FML

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All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Worst Moms Ever
  • We could be lazy and start off with a "your momma" joke, but your mom is so nice that she'd probably bake us a cake and pat us on the head, and those jokes are crap anyway. Because most moms are nice. We…

Sunday 12 May 2013

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