Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
About loveurlifeJK : Hello. I'm Sam, and I'm only here to judge and mock you. (JK...Sorta.) Any insults to my grammar and spelling will be unheard and laughed at.
Despite my apperance, I'm not emo. Real emos worry me and fake emos annoy me. Therefore, I choose not to be either. I'm also bisexual, a vegan, and originally from the lovely Canada. In other words, I'm practically the embodiment of everything everybody hates, so feel free to bash me. :)
You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
Today, I was on MSN when the conversation died. So I lied and told them I had to go get ready for a party, and that everyone was expecting me there. I spent the rest of the night playing The Sims. FML
Today, my new girlfriend, with whom I have not had sex, showed me her collection of sex toys. She picked up one approximately the size of my forearm and said "This one is my favorite" now I'm scared for her to see me naked. FML
Today, my 5-year-old daughter saw a pad commercial. She asked me what they were, but I didn't think she was old enough to hear it. I just told her that they're like diapers for mommies. Now she won't stop telling people that mommy wears diapers. FML
Today, my mother woke me up by saying "Good morning my sexually aggressive daughter. We're going to have an extremely uncomfortable conversation today." Our awkward talk consisted of her telling me that I'm a tease and am going to get raped. Why? She caught me making out with my boyfriend. FML
Today, we were at the end of our surfing trip watching a photo montage. A picture popped up of an ugly girl surfing so I shouted out "I didn't know Shrek could surf". The room went very quiet. "Shrek" was sitting beside me. FML
Tuesday 22 July 2014