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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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lovethesidewalk

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lovethesidewalk
  • Town/Country : eva, usa
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 17 October 1990 (21 years)
  • Number of visits : 454
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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lovethesidewalk's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend and I were play wrestling. I had pinned him down and was sitting on his chest when he suddenly squeezed my stomach, causing me to rip the loudest fart ever. He looked so shocked that I couldn't help but laugh. I laughed so hard that I accidentally peed on him as well. FML

#7059042 (225)

I agree, your life sucks (27906) - you deserved it (11978)

On 12/31/2009 at 3:04pm - love - by pottypattypeepants (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I woke up to my whole room ruined, it was a mess and everything was torn and chewed up. I suddenly see a dog walk across the hall. I don't have a dog. FML

#7002403 (64)

I agree, your life sucks (20746) - you deserved it (1319)

On 12/28/2009 at 10:43pm - animals - by DOGSNACHER (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was talking to the guy that has been in love with me for two years. He said "There is a shortage of perfect breasts in the world. It would be a shame to lose yours." He then creepily looked at me and said "It's true." Thanks, Princess Bride, for supplying creepers with material. FML

#6998674 (122)

I agree, your life sucks (14924) - you deserved it (2725)

On 12/28/2009 at 7:50pm - love - by creeped (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I came home from a year long backpacking trip in Europe. During my absence my parents divorced, dad took the house and most of the money, sister is seven months pregnant, brother was arrested for statutory rape, and my mom pawned all my stuff to buy booze to "cope." Oh, and my fish died. FML

#6989911 (295)

I agree, your life sucks (60057) - you deserved it (2766)

On 12/28/2009 at 7:08am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my 25 year old brother ran into my room very excited at 8am. "Wake up! We got a new puppy!" he told me. I was so excited so I jumped out of my warm bed. When I asked him if he was serious he said "No, but we have to go to church, so get dressed." FML

#6937151 (43)

I agree, your life sucks (19763) - you deserved it (6293)

On 12/25/2009 at 10:30am - misc - by MessyMal (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I had to wrap presents for a cat. FML

#6910234 (96)

I agree, your life sucks (14976) - you deserved it (4791)

On 12/23/2009 at 9:12pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my mom and I were going to the store. I decided to stay in the car while she went in. In the car next to me, there was a dog in the driver's seat barking at me. Bored, I barked back at it until I realized there was someone in the passenger's seat watching me. FML

#6896062 (101)

I agree, your life sucks (5140) - you deserved it (20204)

On 12/23/2009 at 1:17am - animals - by ApolloandDixie (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I wore a pair of glasses with no lenses because I thought I'd look smarter. I ended up poking myself in the eye several times, leaving it swollen. So much for making me look smarter. FML

#6859062 (156)

I agree, your life sucks (2338) - you deserved it (33103)

On 12/21/2009 at 1:25am - health - by farmakakis (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was awakened from a peaceful sleep by my crazy ex-girlfriend, who apparently copied my key before our break up three months ago. She was on top of me, stroking my beard, whispering: “He looks like Jesus.” FML

#6842444 (143)

I agree, your life sucks (30609) - you deserved it (2167)

On 12/20/2009 at 3:47am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was about to propose. I got on my knee in front of my girlfriend and opened the box. My friend thought it would be funny to replace the ring with a condom. FML

#6842155 (146)

I agree, your life sucks (33236) - you deserved it (2715)

On 12/20/2009 at 3:14am - love - by Catholicguy (man) - United States (California)

Today, I ran into the living room when I heard the smoke alarm going off. Turns out, my friend thought it was a good idea to melt a plastic cup on my floor heater. He also thought the best way to put it out was to urinate on it. My house smells like burnt pee. FML

#6832794 (60)

I agree, your life sucks (19809) - you deserved it (1650)

On 12/19/2009 at 6:21pm - misc - by neednewfriends (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, when my boyfriend and I were becoming intimate, his cat decides to jump onto the bed and lie right in between us. He then informs me that he wanted to stop to "preserve his cat's innocence." FML

#6824662 (90)

I agree, your life sucks (18768) - you deserved it (3070)

On 12/19/2009 at 5:18am - love - by Madagascar (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I walked into my room in only a towel. I walked in front of my brother to get to my computer. He said, "My webcam is on." I replied smartly by screaming, hugging the towel tightly to me, turning, and running straight into the glass door, dropping the towel. His friends saw and laughed. FML

#6821061 (83)

I agree, your life sucks (14024) - you deserved it (8765)

On 12/19/2009 at 12:01am - misc - by GlassPwn (woman) - United States

Today, I was fired from my job as a middle school teacher. Why? I told an 8th grader that Santa Claus wasn't real. He cried and told my boss. FML

#6812766 (262)

I agree, your life sucks (25549) - you deserved it (8064)

On 12/18/2009 at 4:15pm - work - by Firedfor..... (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I slipped as I was about to take a shower, knocking myself out cold. I woke up to someone banging on my door. It was a cop checking to see if I was okay. When I asked how he knew to come, he said he was notified by "a male neighbor who called anonymously." I guess I have a peeping Tom. FML

#6812305 (62)

I agree, your life sucks (22296) - you deserved it (1293)

On 12/18/2009 at 3:46pm - health - by ThatAintLogical (woman) - United States (Louisiana)