About lovesjustaword : Some people say I'm a bitch... But I'm not. I just have a low tolerance for other people's bullshit.
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lovesjustaword's favorite FMLs
Today, I woke up with my face covered in blood. Turns out that yesterday at my colleague's birthday party, I got so drunk that I started yelling "Nappy time!" before falling out of my hammock and face-first onto the concrete ground. FML
by nosey / 04/08/2013 at 3:20pm / United Kingdom (Rhondda Cynon Taff) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was working the night shift at the hotel. One of my tasks is to clean out the pool robot. While trying to pull it up, I got pulled in. I had to hide naked in the laundry room for an hour while I put my uniform through the dryer. FML
by soakedga / 04/08/2013 at 12:56pm / United States (Georgia) / Work
Today, while at a hospital, a prayer group circled me and started praying that God and the good doctors and nurses would heal me from the disease that disfigured my face. I was there to visit my sick grandmother. FML
by chinatownhobo / 04/08/2013 at 2:12am / Australia (Australian Capital Territory) / Health
Today, I saw a very attractive young woman struggling with some boxes. The seduction attempt resulted in me carrying 60lbs of items for 30mins. When we got to her apartment, she thanked me and introduced me to her boyfriend. FML
by JacktheRussian / 04/07/2013 at 8:33pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I found an invisible ink pen. I drew on my arms, thinking nobody would see it. I had an allergic reaction to the ink, and I now have three very large, very visible, red penises on my forearm. FML
by maturity / 04/07/2013 at 8:30pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Health
Today, I found out my creepy, obsessive neighbor got a pet hamster and named it after me. He has been telling all sorts of stories about his hamster using my name, and he just told me in detail how it died of heart attack. FML
by idontevenlikehamsters / 04/07/2013 at 8:00pm / United States (Virginia) / Animals
Today, after paying for my groceries, I noticed that a bread-roll hadn't been charged. I felt guilty and went back to the register to pay for it. The cashier burst into derisive laughter and mockingly asked me if I was "running for Pope or something". FML
by moosy0_o / 04/07/2013 at 3:22pm / Netherlands (Noord-Brabant) / Money
by unknown / 04/07/2013 at 1:01pm / Canada (Quebec) / Miscellaneous
by confused / 04/07/2013 at 10:51am / Australia (Victoria) / Work
by kimhinesvoinea / 04/07/2013 at 8:07am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, a couple stopped me on the beach to take a picture of them kissing in front of the sunset. I agreed feeling generous, until they continued making out after the picture was taken, leaving me standing there awkwardly with their camera. FML
by unknown / 04/07/2013 at 12:26am / United States (Florida) / Love
by ziggers10 / 04/06/2013 at 11:19pm / United States / Love
Today, I was discussing possible career choices with my relatives. Pretty much everyone expressed the belief that I'm screwed for life, with my grandma commenting later: "She ain't even got the tits for porn. God help her." FML
by flea-bitten / 04/06/2013 at 3:41pm / United States / Work
Today, my dad had a little too much to drink. When he's that drunk, he likes to pepper me with a lot of random questions. He asked if I've ever tried hard drugs, and if I want to die. I answered no to both of the questions, and he demanded to know why not. FML
by yeah why not / 04/06/2013 at 1:06pm / Norway / Miscellaneous
by ohgodwhy / 04/06/2013 at 10:15am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
- Today while walking to the shop under the blistering African sun, I stepped on something that stuck… Today, While at a resort, my friends and I decided to go to the indoor pool. I was surprised when I… Today, my bike brakes failed as I was going downhill. I ended up running a light and hit a car at…