Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
About lovepandorasaver : I work for a ISP doing Internet Security. I enjoy procrastinating on FmyLife at work, movies, St.Louis Sports and going to games(Go Cards! and Fuck you NHL, locking out again!!), cars( drive a 2012 mazdaspeed 3 and can't wait to put some money into it), music(pandora saver is what I use, saves every song that plays), video games(Guild Wars 2, Twisted metal and Call of Duty ps3), bars, bowling, pool, golf, being sarcastic, and keeping my place clean.
You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…
100 kick ass comments
100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Today, I was joking around with my eight-year-old son. I told him to pull my finger. I farted, then laughed. He decided to try it on his mother. When she pulled his finger, he crapped his pants. He told her I taught him how to do it. FML
Today, I was babysitting this 12 year old. We were watching a movie, and he was being an angel just laying with his head in my lap. He fell asleep so I closed my eyes and had a little nap. When I woke up he had taken my shirt off and was feeling up my boobs. FML
Today, my toddler stood up in a shopping cart and fell, giving himself a black eye. Later, while at a restaurant, he tried to stand up in his high-chair. I quickly blurted out, "Sit down! Do you want another one of those?" while pointing at his eye. The waiter wouldn’t stop glaring at me. FML
Today, I came home to find a sock I previously used to whack off on my bed with googly eyes and a mouth drawn on it with a note that read "Because you can't find a real girl, I made your current one prettier, Love Mom." FML
Thursday 10 April 2014