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lovelyvampire

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lovelyvampire

12Liked!

lovelyvampirelovelyvampire
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 8 November 1994 (19 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 250
  • Number of comments : 23
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About lovelyvampire : I'm a fun loving, somewhat spontaneous, entirely energetic girl. Love to have fun, love to just relax too! Love music, reading and writing. Coldplay is my jam haha. feel free to hit me up! xx

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You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

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lovelyvampire's favorite FMLs

Today, I went on a first date. Everything was going well until he asked me, "So, what's the biggest thing you've stuck up your vag?" FML

#21281604
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17293) - you deserved it (1338)

On 10/20/2014 at 5:28am - intimacy - by bye loser (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I gave birth to my first child. The first thing my husband says? "When can I hit it again, doc?" FML

#21280942
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26677) - you deserved it (3364)

On 10/19/2014 at 7:22am - kids - by how about never? (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I got called to the guidance office, only to be told my boyfriend broke up with me. He wasn't sure how to break the news to me, so he made my guidance counselor do it for him. FML

#21277708
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39650) - you deserved it (2897)

On 10/14/2014 at 2:57pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, it's the first birthday of the condom in my pocket. FML

#21276832
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34477) - you deserved it (6916)

On 10/13/2014 at 10:15am - intimacy - by badplacerightnow (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I got married. It was a beautiful ceremony with all of our family and friends. Too bad it ended with us leaving the reception before dancing even started, since my groom couldn't stop bawling his eyes out from all the stress. FML

Today, as a restaurant manager, I had a large party of difficult guests. They sat in their private room they'd reserved for three-and-a-half hours, then caused a huge scene when it was time to pay. One guy even ran at me like he was going to hit me. FML

#21276013
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31515) - you deserved it (2219)

On 10/12/2014 at 2:40am - work - by stressed - United States (Georgia)

Today, I thought I was finally over my anxiety problem, and confidently went to my first ever job interview. Halfway through, the manager tells me that if I didn't stop being so nervous, he couldn't give me the job. I cried. FML

#21269405
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36450) - you deserved it (4130)

On 10/02/2014 at 4:56am - work - by rejected - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, my insane roommate yelled at me for using the word "stupid" because apparently it is a slur against mentally disabled people. Later, she went on and on about this "queer" club she's attending to meet "queer" people to talk about "queer" issues. She's not gay. I am. FML

Today, my sister told me the reason why she went with me to a gay pride parade a few months ago was because she thought it would inspire me to come out. FML

Today, I was talking to a guy I met online and have known for 4 years. I've fallen in love with him twice, one of those times being currently. He was supposed to visit this summer. I got an email from him saying he's really a 17 year old girl from Chesterfield, MO. FML

#966789
356 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29868) - you deserved it (87840)

On 04/14/2009 at 9:45am - love - by oxbbabexo (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my ten year old son realized something. Beer is alcohol. People who drink a lot of alcohol are alcoholics. Therefore I am an alcoholic for drinking beer with dinner. He told everyone at his conservative private school and they tried to have an intervention. They pray for me every day. FML

#921168
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61809) - you deserved it (11339)

On 04/12/2009 at 12:44am - kids - by cxcrktkt (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I went to the doctor's office because my wife and I were having some fertilization problems. As I removed my pants, the doctor simply looked at my penis and said "mhm." My wife laughed the whole way home. FML

#814298
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (71026) - you deserved it (4681)

On 04/05/2009 at 9:32am - health - by manlyman (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I went to the doctor's office because my wife and I were having some fertilization problems. As I removed my pants, the doctor simply looked at my penis and said "mhm." My wife laughed the whole way home. FML

#814298
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (71026) - you deserved it (4681)

On 04/05/2009 at 9:32am - health - by manlyman (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my boyfriend of 3 months and I were in the middle of a heavy make-out session when his cell rang. Normally, he'd ignore it. This time however he pushed me off of him and said "Shit! It's probably my girlfriend!" I thought I was his girlfriend. FML

#813672
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (144527) - you deserved it (14510)

On 04/05/2009 at 5:43am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)



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