Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

loulumpkin

Search for a member

loulumpkin

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 23 September 1991 (23 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1235
  • Number of comments : 9
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

loulumpkin's page activity

Visits<b>LegitxNuke</b> - the 12/15/2014 at 11:10pm<b>adamant84</b> - the 11/23/2014 at 12:18pm<b>Edogg215</b> - the 10/01/2014 at 7:48pm<b>SurfingPichu</b> - the 09/04/2014 at 10:12am<b>recklessryan</b> - the 04/10/2014 at 1:30pm<b>Saso</b> - the 02/05/2014 at 1:50am<b>ManlyGoldfish</b> - the 01/27/2014 at 11:43am<b>Ohthatsnasty</b> - the 01/23/2014 at 12:05am<b>ctuan13</b> - the 09/30/2013 at 9:44pm<b>goawayy</b> - the 07/30/2013 at 6:22pm<b>alexxeon</b> - the 06/29/2013 at 1:47pm<b>rokolodo</b> - the 05/27/2013 at 10:16pm<b>ledsabbith</b> - the 05/23/2013 at 2:04am<b>KyraJFoxx</b> - the 05/09/2013 at 11:16am<b>kingdrizzt</b> - the 05/08/2013 at 11:47am<b>Joshwarrior</b> - the 05/08/2013 at 10:21am<b>inoccent247</b> - the 05/07/2013 at 11:59pm<b>Gman4444</b> - the 05/07/2013 at 10:55pm

loulumpkin's FML badges

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

I’m your new creative director

You had to give your opinion on this new “piece” that the whole world is talking about.

See all of loulumpkin's badges

loulumpkin's favorite FMLs

Today, I finally felt ready to have sex for the first time, with my boyfriend of nearly 8 months. When I told him, things became intimate and pants came off. He then looked at me and said, "Yeah, I can't do this." The rest of the night was spent in awkward silence. FML

#20460703
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43639) - you deserved it (6002)

On 01/15/2013 at 12:45pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my mum excitedly discussed with me the prospect of starting a mother-son YouTube duo. Thinking she was joking, I went along with it. She is now installing a 24-hour webcam in the house to record our conversations, which she perceives as hilarious, and is going to upload them. FML

#20458570
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31878) - you deserved it (7629)

On 01/14/2013 at 5:06am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my boyfriend of 6 years proposed to me. Less than 3 hours later, he panicked and made me give the ring back. FML

#20407692
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40918) - you deserved it (4024)

On 12/19/2012 at 3:47pm - love - by mahanaaa_23 (woman) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, someone painted the "Dark Mark" on the side of my car. It won't come off and my kids refuse to get in because it means "a wizard died in there." FML

#20407286
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33802) - you deserved it (3667)

On 12/19/2012 at 9:59am - kids - by spellbound - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I have a very uncomfortable cyst in my armpit and a sprained ankle both on my right side, resulting in me limping and keeping my arm awkwardly plastered to my side. My fiancé keeps walking like me and calling me Igor, saying "Yes, Master" whenever I ask him for something. FML

#20406767
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30112) - you deserved it (3656)

On 12/19/2012 at 12:16am - health - by Igor (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was out on a dinner date when suddenly a girl walks up to us and says to my date, "Girl, you can do so much better." Hearing this, my date looks at me, nods, gets up and walks off. I still had to pay for everything. FML

#20406289
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43782) - you deserved it (3452)

On 12/18/2012 at 8:49pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my mother-in-law, who apparently made a copy of our house key without permission, walked in on my husband and me doing the deed. She went crazy, yelling at me for "defiling" her son. Last week, she yelled at me for not having given her grand-children yet. FML

#20405524
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56625) - you deserved it (3839)

On 12/18/2012 at 12:09pm - intimacy - by daughterinlaw (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I had to break up with my boyfriend when I caught him installing cameras in my bathroom. FML

#20403401
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40394) - you deserved it (4321)

On 12/17/2012 at 7:25am - love - by Sarah (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, on the way out to buy groceries, my boyfriend asked if I'd like him to buy some of my favourite flowers. Happy with his rare show of affection, I said yes. When he returned, he gave me a bag of our usual brand of flour and laughed hysterically in my face. FML

#20401145
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25688) - you deserved it (3917)

On 12/15/2012 at 7:06pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I went on a date. He stole my credit card. FML

Today, I went down on my boyfriend for the first time. I went slowly to build up the excitement, and I thought it was working really well, until he sighed, "For fuck's sake, it's a dick, not a shotgun." and told me to stop embarrassing him. FML

#20399775
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34095) - you deserved it (8340)

On 12/14/2012 at 7:27pm - intimacy - by sucks at sucking (woman) - United Kingdom (Bournemouth)

Today, my husband and I sat our 10-year-old daughter down for a chat over her recent cursing. When my husband asked where she'd heard the words, she "innocently" replied, "from mommy's other boyfriend." He took her seriously, accused me of cheating, and hasn't been home since. FML

#20399736
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32077) - you deserved it (5970)

On 12/14/2012 at 6:52pm - love - by mandybar15 (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I avoided having to wash the dishes by faking a cold. My sucker of a wife believed me and hopped off my balls about it. Later on, after I made a miraculous recovery, she told me to take out the trash. It's freezing outside and raining, and I feel a very real cold coming on. FML

#20399412
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5735) - you deserved it (70669)

On 12/14/2012 at 2:19pm - misc - by fuckmyassimcold (man) - United States



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Xmas illustrated FML
  • Here we go, final lap before Christmas is finally upon us. Although, you could say we've been subjected to quite a few strains of Christmas already. The decorations are up since mid-August, and certain family…

Friday 19 December 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: