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Today, I decided to visit my girlfriend who lives 20 hours away. Four Red Bulls: $11.50. Gas: $200. Driving halfway across the country to find your girlfriend in bed with another guy? FML
I agree, your life sucks (52106) - you totally deserved it (2763)
On 08/03/2009 at 1:15am - love - by Tuck_My_Life (man) - United States (New Hampshire)
Today, as my son carried the cage with live food for his pet lizards up the stairs, I heard the sound of 2,500 baby crickets escaping. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33453) - you totally deserved it (3696)
On 08/02/2009 at 9:29pm - kids - by cricketeer (man) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, after 3 long hours of mowing the lawn with a rusty lawn mower, my dad finally decided to tell me that he didn't get any money out to pay me with. The reason? He didn't think girls could mow a lawn and was expecting me to give up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35065) - you totally deserved it (1737)
On 08/02/2009 at 11:52am - work - by aatomkins (woman) - United Kingdom (Essex)
Today, I discovered that I have developed an allergy to salt water on my face. Now, every time I sweat or cry, I come up in a bright red rash. I am allergic to my own bodily fluids. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45145) - you totally deserved it (1711)
On 08/02/2009 at 8:45am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, I woke up and called my boyfriend. We had amazing phone sex, even better because no one was home and we didn't have to be quiet. Afterwards, I walk out into the kitchen. My mum hadn't gone to work that morning. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11152) - you totally deserved it (34063)
On 08/02/2009 at 7:33am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I went to a local concert. The singer from my favorite band stage-dived and I got to catch him. Unfortunately I was the only one to catch him. The next thing I know I'm pinned between him and the concrete floor as he finishes whatever part of the song he was on. He was fine, I hit my head. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27756) - you totally deserved it (3313)
On 08/02/2009 at 4:39am - misc - by epicfail (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I got pulled over for the first time since I got my license. I have disorganized speech and occasional inappropriate emotional response. I began to laugh due to nervousness and when I tried to explain why, I was arrested because he thought I was high. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35465) - you totally deserved it (3010)
On 08/01/2009 at 3:24pm - misc - by Jesse (woman) - United States (Oregon)
Today, I finished doing a resume that I had spent three hours on. I e-mailed it to the business I was applying for, satisfied. I decided to look it over. The first thing I notice, I spelt my own name wrong. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5632) - you totally deserved it (32075)
On 08/01/2009 at 3:20pm - work - by anonymouschicka (woman) - United States
Today, I was pulled over for speeding. The cop was hot so I flirted with him as much as I could. But when he came back to the car he still gave me a ticket. Feeling desperate I said, "I thought you didn't give tickets to pretty girls", his response, "We don't". FML
I agree, your life sucks (9806) - you totally deserved it (48021)
On 07/31/2009 at 9:51am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Utah)
Today, I was walking around Walmart feeling pretty good about myself as I received numerous looks from guys in passing. All of a sudden a man approached me to tell me that my dress was extremely see-through. And, since I was wearing a thong, he and everyone else could totally see my ass. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5818) - you totally deserved it (36479)
On 07/31/2009 at 9:43am - misc - by EmBAREassed (woman) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, at work I fell asleep. This is how I discovered that when I'm sleeping, and am scared awake by my boss with an air horn, I yelp louder than a terrier and piss in my pants. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6781) - you totally deserved it (29269)
On 07/31/2009 at 1:25am - work - by pisspantsjob (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I told my therapist that I suspected my partner was unfaithful, but I don't think he believed me. "What, did you find a membership card to a sex club in his wallet or something?" he asked. When I got home, I looked in my partner's wallet. I found a membership card to a sex club. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32198) - you totally deserved it (2256) - moderated and selected by the Jackass crew
On 07/30/2009 at 11:21am - intimacy - by thesockmancometh (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I got into a car accident. The car I hit belongs to my girlfriend's father. We never met before. He believes strongly in "first impressions." FML
I agree, your life sucks (27819) - you totally deserved it (3657) - moderated and selected by the Jackass crew
On 07/30/2009 at 3:20am - love - by LevKin (man) - Canada (Quebec)
Today, my mom asked me if I was crying because my boyfriend cheated on me with my best friend. That wasn't why I was crying. My mom knows things before I do. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35452) - you totally deserved it (1375)
On 07/29/2009 at 11:20pm - love - by screwed (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I was taking a shower when my boyfriend suddenly hopped in with me. We were getting a little frisky when my mom's hand unexpectedly came through the curtain, and dropped a condom in the bottom of the shower, all the while saying, "Keep it safe kids!". FML
I agree, your life sucks (39305) - you totally deserved it (17551)
On 07/21/2009 at 3:45pm - intimacy - by uh-oh (woman) - United States (New Mexico)
