About lorraineald : I love cats.
lorraineald's FML badges
Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
lorraineald's favorite FMLs
by WinkleBottom / 11/04/2013 at 5:01pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by ANON / 08/13/2013 at 7:53pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
by needsnewshorts / 07/15/2013 at 9:42pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, I was delivering pizza. When I went up to the front door, an elderly lady answered. She was wearing a floral dress that went down to her shins and had a Nicolas Cage mask on with eye holes cut out. When I glanced behind her, I saw her cats had them too. FML
by nicholascageonyourface / 06/09/2013 at 1:13am / United States (Nebraska) / Miscellaneous
Today, it was my wedding. Every good wedding has slutty wedding sex, and I thought it would be over after my cousin and his girlfriend were caught in the parking lot. I was wrong, the sluttiest wedding sex goes to my drunk husband and sister in the coat room. FML
by lizzie / 05/25/2013 at 2:55am / Canada (Alberta) / Love
by Anonymous / 05/07/2013 at 4:17pm / United States (Ohio) / Animals
by DemiRawrs / 05/01/2013 at 1:23pm / United States / Health
by Gurior / 04/16/2013 at 1:44pm / Canada / Intimacy
by DM / 03/04/2013 at 3:02pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous
Today, my brother accidentally hit me in the throat. After I stopped coughing, choking, and feeling like I was going to die, he came back into my room, quietly said "I know your weakness," and left. FML
by Anonymous / 02/23/2013 at 1:28am / United States (Colorado) / Health
by Anonymous / 02/21/2013 at 8:43am / United States (Idaho) / Miscellaneous
Today, I took an afternoon nap, and when I woke up, it was pitch black outside. Still groggy, I went downstairs, only to see my dad sporting a shocked expression and a suspiciously powder-white beard. He actually almost convinced me that I'd just woken up from a five year coma. FML
by Anonymous / 02/17/2013 at 12:56am / United States / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 02/08/2013 at 10:36am / United States / Miscellaneous
by MoreActionThanMe / 12/10/2012 at 7:04pm / United States / Animals
Today, I met my girlfriend's father for the first time; he asked me to explain my interest in dating her. In a mix of me trying to say "I want to be with your daughter" and "I want to be in your daughter's life" I got confused and said, "I want to be in your daughter." FML
by Tonguetied0496 / 12/10/2012 at 2:21am / United States (California) / Love
- 1Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 2Today, someone stole my purse and phone while I was giving CPR to someone who had a heart attack on… 3Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's…
- Today, my university fridge is so small that the cucumber I bought doesn’t fit either lengthwise or… Today, on my way home to Bordeaux after a weekend in Paris, I had the pleasure of being sat next to… Today, I’m a bus driver in Paris. A guy got on with a sheep. I told him that you can’t take the bus…