About lorraineald : I love cats.
An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
Consolation prize
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
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Today, I turned 35. Because I'm still single, my sister bought me a cat to help start my "inevitable collection." FML
I agree, your life sucks (39172) - you deserved it (4915)
On 05/07/2013 at 4:17pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, my mom accused me of being pregnant. She wouldn't believe me when I told her I'm a virgin, and she challenged me to take a pregnancy test. It came back with a false positive. FML
I agree, your life sucks (51544) - you deserved it (3370)
On 05/01/2013 at 1:23pm - health - by DemiRawrs - United States
Today, my virginal girlfriend of a year graduated from veterinary school. She can shove her arm shoulder-deep up a cow's ass without blinking, but still feels too insecure to even touch my penis. FML
I agree, your life sucks (54950) - you deserved it (14247)
Today, I walked into what I thought would be a surprise birthday party. It wasn't. It was my parents staging an intervention over my cat obsession. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13639) - you deserved it (22879)
On 03/04/2013 at 3:02pm - misc - by DM - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, my brother accidentally hit me in the throat. After I stopped coughing, choking, and feeling like I was going to die, he came back into my room, quietly said "I know your weakness," and left. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24777) - you deserved it (2092)
On 02/23/2013 at 1:28am - health - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)
Today, I lost a bet with my friends. I had to go to the super market and buy a copy of 50 Shades of Grey along with a cucumber. The cashier was trying so hard not to laugh while ringing me up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33521) - you deserved it (7833)
On 02/21/2013 at 8:43am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Idaho)
Today, I took an afternoon nap, and when I woke up, it was pitch black outside. Still groggy, I went downstairs, only to see my dad sporting a shocked expression and a suspiciously powder-white beard. He actually almost convinced me that I'd just woken up from a five year coma. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22600) - you deserved it (4247)
On 02/17/2013 at 12:56am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, I found a cup full of urine in the bathtub. No one in my family knows where it came from. This is the second time it's happened. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23994) - you deserved it (1530)
On 02/08/2013 at 10:36am - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my dog did something I had no idea he could do. He participated in an all-male three-way at the dog park. In front of everyone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15586) - you deserved it (1483)
On 12/10/2012 at 7:04pm - animals - by MoreActionThanMe - United States
Today, I met my girlfriend's father for the first time; he asked me to explain my interest in dating her. In a mix of me trying to say "I want to be with your daughter" and "I want to be in your daughter's life" I got confused and said, "I want to be in your daughter." FML
I agree, your life sucks (25662) - you deserved it (5292)
On 12/10/2012 at 2:21am - love - by Tonguetied0496 (man) - United States (California)
Today, I sent in an assignment from my batshit insane teacher. The assignment was to read a poem, analyze it, and make a comic of its plot. This would've been fine if the teacher who assigned it to me didn't teach math. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17624) - you deserved it (1083)
On 12/09/2012 at 10:53pm - work - by bestnameright - United States (District of Columbia)
Today, I woke up so pissed off that I yelled at my cereal. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28308) - you deserved it (13114)
On 05/11/2011 at 10:33am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job. As I reached my climax, she thought it would be funny to turn my 'weapon' against me. Boom, headshot. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32935) - you deserved it (21132) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 01/17/2011 at 4:53am - intimacy - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins
Today, I realized that I hadn't shaved in so long that when the wind blew, the hairs on my legs moved in the breeze. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5537) - you deserved it (34175)
On 11/12/2009 at 6:17am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I learned that my boyfriend hides valuables in the washing machine under dirty clothes when leaving town for the weekend. I learned this AFTER I'd done a load of laundry. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19808) - you deserved it (2020)
On 10/11/2009 at 7:30pm - misc - by washed (woman) - United States (Texas)
Friday 24 May 2013
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