About lorenzoman77 : Hey! Text me? 806-407-0489
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Peace
Who’s the fairest of them all?
This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
Consolation prize
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
100 kick ass comments
100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!
Today, I woke up to a nude picture of my girlfriend. Once I looked at it my morning wood went away. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26316) - you deserved it (7264)
On 07/03/2012 at 1:33pm - intimacy - by bob - United States (Ohio)
Today, while giving my fiancé a hand-job, my ring got stuck in his pubes. We had to awkwardly get to the kitchen to get scissors. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16540) - you deserved it (4721)
On 06/16/2012 at 10:14pm - intimacy - by Mega_bug - United States (Washington)
Today, I noticed that whenever someone belches, I immediately think of my boyfriend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12014) - you deserved it (2234)
On 05/17/2012 at 8:00am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, I was in the hospital with rib injuries after being rear-ended by a truck. The doc said, "Well, you'll probably feel like you've been hit by a truck for a while." Everyone laughed, except me. When I said he was being insensitive, he replied, "Calm down, I'm just ribbing you." FML
I agree, your life sucks (11020) - you deserved it (19365)
On 05/16/2012 at 6:29pm - health - by ...... (man) - United States
Today, while I was on the up escalator, a small woman in front of me farted directly into my face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25050) - you deserved it (2148)
On 10/02/2011 at 2:36am - misc - by Emmy (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, my girlfriend thought it would be a good idea to help me get over the fear of my upcoming rectal exam by surprising me with one of her own halfway through our lovemaking. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23237) - you deserved it (3383)
On 08/25/2011 at 2:10pm - intimacy - by shocked (man) - United States
Today, I was getting a bit intimate with my boyfriend. Just when things were getting interesting, my dog managed to get into my room. He jumped on the bed and my boyfriend spent the next 20 minutes playing with the dog, while I sat next to him, half naked. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22157) - you deserved it (3020)
On 08/25/2011 at 3:12am - intimacy - by Puppy Loverr - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I've gotten the most calls of my life. Turns out the idiot who changed the sign on my local pizza hut put up the wrong phone number. My phone number. I've already received 16 calls. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19086) - you deserved it (1561)
On 08/24/2011 at 1:14pm - misc - by Marty - United States (Michigan)
Today, I was chased on my bike by a couple of guys in a car. I rode into a public park to cut through and try to lose them. I looked by to check if they were following me, but they had to stop. I laughed, looked forward, and rammed into a little girl. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20356) - you deserved it (6185)
On 08/24/2011 at 2:34am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I went to the House of Horrors at Universal Studios. People dressed up as monsters would jump at us, and I was so freaked out that I tripped. My equally terrified mom fell on top of me. Frankenstein's monster was nice enough to ask us if we were alright. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12621) - you deserved it (10260)
On 08/24/2011 at 2:32am - misc - by Trimacle (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was baking cookies. I stared at them for 15 minutes and finally asked my dad, "Why are these taking so long?" He looked up at the oven and replied, "It might help if you turn the oven on." FML
I agree, your life sucks (7058) - you deserved it (31853)
On 08/23/2011 at 2:18pm - misc - by Kendal - Canada (Ontario)
Today, while watching TV, I danced, sang along, and helped Dora the Explorer get to her Grandmother's house. It was the most fun I've had all year. I'm 21. FML
I agree, your life sucks (50830) - you deserved it (21033)
On 05/04/2009 at 5:09am - kids - by Amey (woman) - United States (Maryland)
Today, I was running down the hallway when a door opens and hits me right on the face. I'm sitting there with my nose bleeding and a huge bump forming on my head. The guy who comes out is hugely fat, tries to help me up, trips, and falls on me. I accidentally groped his moobs while trying to push him off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (57200) - you deserved it (5244)
On 04/14/2009 at 3:50am - misc - by LizLiao (woman) - United States (California)
Monday 20 May 2013
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