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lordslaya53

Offline (the 09/28/2014 at 9:43am) | Search for a member

lordslaya53

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 6 June 1995 (19 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2025
  • Number of comments : 43
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 10 posted

About lordslaya53 : I'm in a metal band called Abstract Asylum based out of Calgary Canada! Check us out on facebook :)

lordslaya53's page activity

Visits<b>kayzers</b> - the 09/04/2014 at 5:22pm<b>Skyzeri</b> - the 09/01/2014 at 3:12pm<b>polarbearpiss</b> - the 08/31/2014 at 11:15pm<b>Nevracceptdefeat</b> - the 08/24/2014 at 9:54am<b>ashla8613</b> - the 08/21/2014 at 12:46am<b>Helpfulman</b> - the 06/22/2014 at 7:23pm<b>nolive</b> - the 06/21/2014 at 3:50pm<b>IzzyInWonderland</b> - the 06/18/2014 at 11:34pm<b>XxxEmoAngelxxX</b> - the 05/04/2014 at 1:29pm<b>zeriously95</b> - the 04/20/2014 at 6:40pm<b>krupa1017</b> - the 04/19/2014 at 6:39pm<b>GreentacoDerp</b> - the 04/16/2014 at 7:10pm<b>Hilda_x</b> - the 04/05/2014 at 11:49pm<b>JBChristian</b> - the 04/05/2014 at 10:45pm<b>paigexox0</b> - the 04/05/2014 at 10:35pm<b>Pinkraincoat</b> - the 04/05/2014 at 10:35pm<b>HeyTherexxx</b> - the 04/05/2014 at 10:24pm<b>TdotMaria</b> - the 04/05/2014 at 9:19pm

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lordslaya53's favorite FMLs

Today, I got concussion after a goat ran in front of me while I was jogging. FML

#15942316
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28134) - you deserved it (3797)

On 04/26/2011 at 11:07pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my husband got out of the shower, came downstairs naked screaming ''EMBRACE THE HARDNESS!!'' Little did he know, my step mother was sitting right there at the kitchen table. FML

#15934305
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44690) - you deserved it (5609)

On 04/26/2011 at 1:28pm - intimacy - by Scarlett - United States (Washington)

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting intimate and planning on having sex for the first time. I picked her up off the couch, and in so doing, accidentally lifted her too high, putting her head through the ceiling. She had a mild concussion. FML

#15921187
378 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36308) - you deserved it (18820)

On 04/25/2011 at 3:31pm - intimacy - by Ouch (man) - Canada (Ontario)

TODAY, I PRESSED CAPS LOCK ON MY LAPTOP AND THE KEY GOT STUCK. NOW ALL OF MY LETTERS ARE IN CAPITAL LETTERS. I HAVE TRIED EVERYTHING. FML

#15415559
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37126) - you deserved it (31476)

On 03/21/2011 at 1:32pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Wiltshire)

Today, my boyfriend had a bad dream that a horse was biting his fingers off. He punched the horse in the neck, and in real life punched me in the spine. Twice. FML

#15410065
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32811) - you deserved it (3692)

On 03/21/2011 at 1:02am - love - by lily389 -

Today, I emailed my potential boss a copy of my résumé. However, I didn't realize until too late that it was my fake resume, created for an English class project. Some of my former jobs included being a certified gangster, as well as the former president of Canada. FML

#15334821
246 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15511) - you deserved it (46805)

On 03/16/2011 at 9:01am - work - by Almostfunny (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I discovered that the demonic voice that made me nearly piss myself all night, was my sister's Furby she stuck in the closet. FML

#15219004
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36596) - you deserved it (6532)

On 03/06/2011 at 2:38pm - misc - by Spooked (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my son broke a window at school playing football. Not only did he break one, he broke the other window next to it. His excuse? He tried making it look like a bird flew in one way and flew out the other. I have to pay $800 to fix it. FML

#15215945
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31536) - you deserved it (3972)

On 03/06/2011 at 6:28am - money - by notsosmart - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, while sleeping, I heard an explosion. My neighbor then knocked on my door and informed me that he had just hit my car with shrapnel from a cannon. Not only do I not have a car to drive, but I also have to put this claim on my insurance due to my neighbor being on welfare. FML

Today, I was in the bathroom, when someone came up behind me. Instead of waiting for a urinal to free up, he wedged his way in between me and another guy, and promptly began peeing in my urinal, crossing streams in the process. FML

#15207309
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40686) - you deserved it (3319)

On 03/05/2011 at 3:26pm - misc - by devinbyrne - United States (Texas)

Today, I was answering a text from one of my students asking me if they could re-take a test. I thought I'd texted back "No, you can't." Auto correct had used a more frequently used word: "No, you cunt." FML

#15184059
239 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37553) - you deserved it (23395)

On 03/03/2011 at 6:22am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I started my job as a high school janitor. A student decided to welcome me by taking a dump in the urinal. FML

#15178043
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33858) - you deserved it (4008)

On 03/02/2011 at 7:35pm - work - by Worstjob (man) - United States (Idaho)

Today, my girlfriend thought it would be sexy to stick her finger up my ass during sex. I screamed like a little girl and barely managed to finish. Afterward, she said, 'Now you know how it feels.' FML

#15165919
340 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17591) - you deserved it (83065)

On 03/01/2011 at 6:51pm - intimacy - by Anon. (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my girlfriend thought it would be sexy to stick her finger up my ass during sex. I screamed like a little girl and barely managed to finish. Afterward, she said, 'Now you know how it feels.' FML

#15165919
340 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17591) - you deserved it (83065)

On 03/01/2011 at 6:51pm - intimacy - by Anon. (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I downloaded an application for my phone that reads whatever you type out loud. I started making it say things like "You like it when daddy spanks your tight little ass don't you?" Just as the message was playing back out loud, my mom walked up the stairs. FML

#15012156
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9402) - you deserved it (49323)

On 02/17/2011 at 2:02am - intimacy - by biglady (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)



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