Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

lordslaya53

Offline (the 08/27/2014 at 4:41pm) | Search for a member

lordslaya53

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 6 June 1995 (19 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1923
  • Number of comments : 43
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 10 posted

About lordslaya53 : I'm in a metal band called Abstract Asylum based out of Calgary Canada! Check us out on facebook :)

lordslaya53's page activity

Visits<b>Skyzeri</b> - 10 hours ago<b>polarbearpiss</b> - yesterday at 11:15pm<b>Nevracceptdefeat</b> - the 08/24/2014 at 9:54am<b>ashla8613</b> - the 08/21/2014 at 12:46am<b>Helpfulman</b> - the 06/22/2014 at 7:23pm<b>nolive</b> - the 06/21/2014 at 3:50pm<b>IzzyInWonderland</b> - the 06/18/2014 at 11:34pm<b>XxxEmoAngelxxX</b> - the 05/04/2014 at 1:29pm<b>zeriously95</b> - the 04/20/2014 at 6:40pm<b>krupa1017</b> - the 04/19/2014 at 6:39pm<b>GreentacoDerp</b> - the 04/16/2014 at 7:10pm<b>Hilda_x</b> - the 04/05/2014 at 11:49pm<b>JBChristian</b> - the 04/05/2014 at 10:45pm<b>paigexox0</b> - the 04/05/2014 at 10:35pm<b>Pinkraincoat</b> - the 04/05/2014 at 10:35pm<b>HeyTherexxx</b> - the 04/05/2014 at 10:24pm<b>TdotMaria</b> - the 04/05/2014 at 9:19pm<b>macho_nacho</b> - the 03/25/2014 at 12:42pm

lordslaya53's FML badges

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of lordslaya53's badges

lordslaya53's favorite FMLs

Today, I told my boyfriend that I'm pregnant. He seemed excited, and said we should make the baby fat so he can bounce her on his lap and watch her double chin jiggle. Just to prove he's serious, he's been searching for high-calorie foods for babies. FML

#20405554
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36217) - you deserved it (5767)

On 12/18/2012 at 12:33pm - kids - by fatbabysyndrome (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend grabbed my boob, shook it savagely, and shouted "Earthquake!" FML

#20404037
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30595) - you deserved it (7993)

On 12/17/2012 at 6:12pm - misc - by Ape (woman) - United States

Today, I came home to find my husband and our 4-year-old son simultaneously peeing off the second-floor balcony. My husband was giggling like a little girl. FML

#20403594
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30650) - you deserved it (5735)

On 12/17/2012 at 11:21am - kids - by Bonding_boys (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my car window got smashed in. The cop that came to take the report said they'd already caught the guy doing it, he'd smashed in several other car windows, all of the exact same model and color. His reason for doing it was simple: he was drunk and "hated red Jeeps". FML

#20403025
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30798) - you deserved it (3338)

On 12/17/2012 at 12:08am - misc - by Cold (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I came home to find all of the wood in my house either broken or gone. On the now legless table there was a note from my mother, saying that she needed the wood to build a boat, and that I will thank her when the world ends. FML

#20197527
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27094) - you deserved it (1561)

On 12/09/2012 at 10:29am - misc - by woodless (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out my new girlfriend is a screamer. This would normally turn me on, except she sounds like she's being murdered with a rusty fork. FML

#20193609
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34557) - you deserved it (3986)

On 12/06/2012 at 9:24am - intimacy - by Dontwaketheneighbors (man) - United States (California)

Today, my dog died and I told my grandfather I wanted her to be cremated. I came home later to find him burning her in our barbecue pit. FML

#20193405
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32862) - you deserved it (3670)

On 12/06/2012 at 2:18am - animals - by psd60 - United States (Texas)

Today, after having sex, my girlfriend left my apartment after furiously ranting at me, because I made her come "too many times" and that it's "unfair" to her. What? FML

Today, I came home to my fiancé and his mates playing Monopoly naked in our backyard. FML

#18803544
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24227) - you deserved it (3159)

On 01/14/2012 at 6:42am - misc - by anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was at a music festival, watching one of my favorite bands. The security guys were throwing water into the crowd to cool us down. I saw some about to be thrown by another fan, so I stood with my mouth open to catch some of it. I ended up with a face full of hot piss. FML

#17643298
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28814) - you deserved it (18144)

On 09/02/2011 at 9:45am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, my son drew in Sharpie all over the wall, so I spanked him as punishment. When my boss came over for dinner, my son shouted, "Daddy made me take my punishment in the butt." FML

#17338982
330 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42948) - you deserved it (14368)

On 08/02/2011 at 12:58am - kids - by ohcrap - United States (Colorado)

Today, my boyfriend proposed to me by tossing the ring at me and saying "Here, wear this." FML

#17194109
355 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48045) - you deserved it (7810)

On 07/20/2011 at 7:07pm - love - by Username - United States

Today, I discovered what it feels like to get a ruptured sinus. More specifically, I discovered what it feels like to get a ruptured sinus from being hit in the face by a pigeon that was deflected from the windscreen of a van moving at about 35mph. FML

#16131734
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28211) - you deserved it (2431)

On 05/11/2011 at 5:17pm - health - by pigeons_suck (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I got concussion after a goat ran in front of me while I was jogging. FML

#15942316
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28103) - you deserved it (3795)

On 04/26/2011 at 11:07pm - health - by Anonymous - United States



FML's blog

  • FML's Labor Day BBQ
  • The first Monday of September is a holiday in some countries, and is supposed to celebrate Labor Day. So, this means you do nothing to celebrate doing something. I'm confused.  For those of us who…

Monday 1 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: