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lordslaya53

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lordslaya53
  • Town/Country : Calgary, Canada
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 6 June 1995 (18 years)
  • Number of visits : 1437
  • Number of comments : 43
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 10 posted

About lordslaya53 : I'm in a metal band called Abstract Asylum based out of Calgary Canada! Check us out on facebook :)

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lordslaya53's favorite FMLs

Today, my dog died and I told my grandfather I wanted her to be cremated. I came home later to find him burning her in our barbecue pit. FML

#20193405
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30478) - you deserved it (3440)

On 12/06/2012 at 2:18am - animals - by psd60 - United States (Texas)

Today, after having sex, my girlfriend left my apartment after furiously ranting at me, because I made her come "too many times" and that it's "unfair" to her. What? FML

Today, I came home to my fiancé and his mates playing Monopoly naked in our backyard. FML

#18803544
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21972) - you deserved it (2969)

On 01/14/2012 at 6:42am - misc - by anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was at a music festival, watching one of my favorite bands. The security guys were throwing water into the crowd to cool us down. I saw some about to be thrown by another fan, so I stood with my mouth open to catch some of it. I ended up with a face full of hot piss. FML

#17643298
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25572) - you deserved it (16744)

On 09/02/2011 at 9:45am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, my son drew in Sharpie all over the wall, so I spanked him as punishment. When my boss came over for dinner, my son shouted, "Daddy made me take my punishment in the butt." FML

#17338982
326 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36942) - you deserved it (10879)

On 08/02/2011 at 12:58am - kids - by ohcrap - United States (Colorado)

Today, my boyfriend proposed to me by tossing the ring at me and saying "Here, wear this." FML

#17194109
354 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46711) - you deserved it (7667)

On 07/20/2011 at 7:07pm - love - by Username - United States

Today, I discovered what it feels like to get a ruptured sinus. More specifically, I discovered what it feels like to get a ruptured sinus from being hit in the face by a pigeon that was deflected from the windscreen of a van moving at about 35mph. FML

#16131734
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27002) - you deserved it (2343)

On 05/11/2011 at 5:17pm - health - by pigeons_suck (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I got concussion after a goat ran in front of me while I was jogging. FML

#15942316
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25596) - you deserved it (3590)

On 04/26/2011 at 11:07pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my husband got out of the shower, came downstairs naked screaming ''EMBRACE THE HARDNESS!!'' Little did he know, my step mother was sitting right there at the kitchen table. FML

#15934305
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42379) - you deserved it (5389)

On 04/26/2011 at 1:28pm - intimacy - by Scarlett - United States (Washington)

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting intimate and planning on having sex for the first time. I picked her up off the couch, and in so doing, accidentally lifted her too high, putting her head through the ceiling. She had a mild concussion. FML

#15921187
376 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34050) - you deserved it (18094)

On 04/25/2011 at 3:31pm - intimacy - by Ouch (man) - Canada (Ontario)

TODAY, I PRESSED CAPS LOCK ON MY LAPTOP AND THE KEY GOT STUCK. NOW ALL OF MY LETTERS ARE IN CAPITAL LETTERS. I HAVE TRIED EVERYTHING. FML

#15415559
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34820) - you deserved it (30431)

On 03/21/2011 at 1:32pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Wiltshire)

Today, my boyfriend had a bad dream that a horse was biting his fingers off. He punched the horse in the neck, and in real life punched me in the spine. Twice. FML

#15410065
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30328) - you deserved it (3500)

On 03/21/2011 at 1:02am - love - by lily389 -

Today, I emailed my potential boss a copy of my résumé. However, I didn't realize until too late that it was my fake resume, created for an English class project. Some of my former jobs included being a certified gangster, as well as the former president of Canada. FML

#15334821
254 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14616) - you deserved it (45273)

On 03/16/2011 at 9:01am - work - by Almostfunny (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I discovered that the demonic voice that made me nearly piss myself all night, was my sister's Furby she stuck in the closet. FML

#15219004
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31372) - you deserved it (5400)

On 03/06/2011 at 2:38pm - misc - by Spooked (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my son broke a window at school playing football. Not only did he break one, he broke the other window next to it. His excuse? He tried making it look like a bird flew in one way and flew out the other. I have to pay $800 to fix it. FML

#15215945
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26306) - you deserved it (3164)

On 03/06/2011 at 6:28am - money - by notsosmart - Australia (New South Wales)



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