Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

lord_meloetta

Offline (12 hours ago) | Search for a member

lord_meloetta

6Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 3 October 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 276
  • Number of comments : 90
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 11 posted

About lord_meloetta : I am here for laughs. And I forgot how to post fmls.FML

lord_meloetta's page activity

Visits<b>cmchappy</b> - the 11/20/2014 at 6:34pm<b>Noah197099</b> - the 11/20/2014 at 12:31pm<b>DippinGrizzly907</b> - the 11/17/2014 at 6:40am<b>dgameseeker</b> - the 11/16/2014 at 11:14pm<b>Zenic032797</b> - the 11/13/2014 at 11:39pm<b>Lanker</b> - the 11/13/2014 at 4:18pm<b>Wizardo</b> - the 11/13/2014 at 9:17am<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 11/12/2014 at 4:43pm<b>laaryssa</b> - the 11/11/2014 at 11:24pm<b>hisfaceallred</b> - the 11/11/2014 at 3:26pm<b>phoneaddict13</b> - the 11/11/2014 at 2:16pm<b>suruhhhhh</b> - the 11/10/2014 at 5:28pm<b>sergei_yusef</b> - the 11/10/2014 at 3:06pm<b>foxwasalamb</b> - the 11/10/2014 at 11:15am<b>heathertail</b> - the 11/09/2014 at 7:34am<b>jerryj</b> - the 11/09/2014 at 2:24am<b>demonfacee</b> - the 11/08/2014 at 11:35pm<b>Kautkto</b> - the 11/08/2014 at 11:12pm

Liked!<b>Tankkiller308</b> - the 11/09/2014 at 12:15am<b>yuzuhere</b> - the 10/25/2014 at 5:06am<b>hetalia_thailand</b> - the 10/22/2014 at 12:47am<b>ShatteredPulse</b> - the 10/17/2014 at 12:44pm<b>Noelletakumi</b> - the 10/07/2014 at 12:23am<b>23lf</b> - the 09/24/2014 at 4:50pm

lord_meloetta's FML badges

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

The Thumb returns

You have thumbed 5000 comments.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

See all of lord_meloetta's badges

lord_meloetta's favorite FMLs

Today, my husband and I told my parents I was pregnant with my first child. The only thing my father did was look at my husband and tell him his pull out game was weak. FML

#21299949
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34270) - you deserved it (3398)

On 11/16/2014 at 12:29am - kids - by wtfdad - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I realized why I never hear my voice echoing when I sing to my boyfriend on Skype; he just mutes me. FML

#21296304
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32630) - you deserved it (9945)

On 11/10/2014 at 4:50pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was at my friend's Bar Mitzvah. After he finished his long-winded speech, I sarcastically did the mockingjay sign from the Hunger Games. It took a couple of seconds before I realized how that looked, and a couple more for me to be shouted down and kicked out. FML

#21294686
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16355) - you deserved it (29956)

On 11/08/2014 at 12:24pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Connecticut)

Today, after my first day at work at a local daycare, I found out that I'm not entitled to breaks because I'm the only worker there who doesn't smoke. My boss asked me, ''What do you need a break for?'' FML

#21284495
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36260) - you deserved it (2554)

On 10/24/2014 at 4:52pm - work - by Anonymous - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I'm horribly out of shape. My arms are sore, almost like I'd been doing heavy lifting yesterday. Nope. It just was from squeezing cupcake icing out of a tube. FML

Today, someone stole my coat. I can only imagine their surprise when they find the $3,000 engagement ring I bought earlier. FML

#21284412
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41713) - you deserved it (3286)

On 10/24/2014 at 1:49pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I walked into the kitchen at the exact moment my uncle decided to bend over in short shorts. Apparently, his ballsack decided it needed extra room, because it dangled out of his pant leg. FML

#21283844
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35748) - you deserved it (2916)

On 10/23/2014 at 4:05pm - misc - by Alexismaria - United States

Today, my neighbor called the cops on me, claiming I'd threatened him with a gun. Despite zero proof, they took me to the station and gave me hell. I guess what I've learned today is that you should never offend your crazy neighbor by breaking up with his daughter. FML

#21270631
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38501) - you deserved it (4167)

On 10/04/2014 at 12:31pm - misc - by runsinthefamily (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my allergies flared up and I started sneezing. I guess my girlfriend was having a bad day, because she lost her shit and started telling me how annoying I am and how I can never do anything right. I'm not sure if we're still a couple, because she stormed out and won't answer my calls. FML

#21270617
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35713) - you deserved it (2952)

On 10/04/2014 at 11:17am - health - by Anonymous (man) - Denmark

Today, my boyfriend convinced my 4-year-old sister that girls don't poop. She won't stop crying and now thinks she's a freak. FML

#21260556
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36621) - you deserved it (3467)

On 09/18/2014 at 9:16am - kids - by Anonymous - Kenya

Today, I attended a family gathering. My cousin's new baby was being passed around. By way of politely declining to hold it, I meant to say that I looked forward to getting to know it better once it could talk. What I blurted out instead was, "I can't wait until it resembles a human being." FML

Today, I have Hello Kitty band-aids on my nips because I dozed off while tanning and burned them extra crispy. FML

#21062623
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21911) - you deserved it (38772)

On 02/16/2014 at 5:23pm - health - by extra crispy or original recipe (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I burned my right boob. I got it by eating a hot pocket and accidentally spilling the extremely hot filling. I never thought I'd get laid before. This has just confirmed it. FML

Today, I burned my right boob. I got it by eating a hot pocket and accidentally spilling the extremely hot filling. I never thought I'd get laid before. This has just confirmed it. FML

Today, I had to explain to my pregnant friend that her plan to get drunk and get a tattoo needed to wait at least 8 months. She then went out for a smoke to calm down. FML

#20966742
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49755) - you deserved it (3760)

On 11/22/2013 at 9:49am - health - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)



FML's blog

  • FML's Thanksgiving Special: TGS
  • As many of us know through popular culture, today is Thanksgiving in the US. Come on, we’ve all seen a TV show involving a Thanksgiving dinner or plans to do so that have gone awry due to one of the main…

Wednesday 26 November 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: