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lord_meloetta

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lord_meloetta

5Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 3 October 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 217
  • Number of comments : 78
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 9 posted

About lord_meloetta : I am here for laughs. And I forgot how to post fmls.FML

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lord_meloetta's favorite FMLs

Today, after my first day at work at a local daycare, I found out that I'm not entitled to breaks because I'm the only worker there who doesn't smoke. My boss asked me, ''What do you need a break for?'' FML

#21284495
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26686) - you deserved it (1914)

On 10/24/2014 at 4:52pm - work - by Anonymous - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I'm horribly out of shape. My arms are sore, almost like I'd been doing heavy lifting yesterday. Nope. It just was from squeezing cupcake icing out of a tube. FML

Today, someone stole my coat. I can only imagine their surprise when they find the $3,000 engagement ring I bought earlier. FML

#21284412
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29814) - you deserved it (2334)

On 10/24/2014 at 1:49pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I walked into the kitchen at the exact moment my uncle decided to bend over in short shorts. Apparently, his ballsack decided it needed extra room, because it dangled out of his pant leg. FML

#21283844
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29759) - you deserved it (2384)

On 10/23/2014 at 4:05pm - misc - by Alexismaria - United States

Today, my neighbor called the cops on me, claiming I'd threatened him with a gun. Despite zero proof, they took me to the station and gave me hell. I guess what I've learned today is that you should never offend your crazy neighbor by breaking up with his daughter. FML

#21270631
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37733) - you deserved it (3878)

On 10/04/2014 at 12:31pm - misc - by runsinthefamily (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my allergies flared up and I started sneezing. I guess my girlfriend was having a bad day, because she lost her shit and started telling me how annoying I am and how I can never do anything right. I'm not sure if we're still a couple, because she stormed out and won't answer my calls. FML

#21270617
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35149) - you deserved it (2716)

On 10/04/2014 at 11:17am - health - by Anonymous (man) - Denmark

Today, my boyfriend convinced my 4-year-old sister that girls don't poop. She won't stop crying and now thinks she's a freak. FML

#21260556
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36545) - you deserved it (3463)

On 09/18/2014 at 9:16am - kids - by Anonymous - Kenya

Today, I attended a family gathering. My cousin's new baby was being passed around. By way of politely declining to hold it, I meant to say that I looked forward to getting to know it better once it could talk. What I blurted out instead was, "I can't wait until it resembles a human being." FML

Today, I have Hello Kitty band-aids on my nips because I dozed off while tanning and burned them extra crispy. FML

#21062623
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21903) - you deserved it (38755)

On 02/16/2014 at 5:23pm - health - by extra crispy or original recipe (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I burned my right boob. I got it by eating a hot pocket and accidentally spilling the extremely hot filling. I never thought I'd get laid before. This has just confirmed it. FML

Today, I burned my right boob. I got it by eating a hot pocket and accidentally spilling the extremely hot filling. I never thought I'd get laid before. This has just confirmed it. FML

Today, my boyfriend started coming onto me, despite me being on my period. He said it was okay, and we went to his bedroom. He told me to spread my legs as he spread his hands. Thinking it'd be sexy, I did. He then yelled, "I AM MOSES! I PART THE RED SEA!" and broke down in laughter. FML

#20533607
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55767) - you deserved it (14637)

On 03/06/2013 at 3:20pm - intimacy - by RedWaters - United States

Today, I had to go through the embarrassment and pain of telling my parents I was pregnant. I took the test and it came out positive and I was freaking out. I got grounded for the rest of the year and they're really disappointed in me. Five minutes ago, I got my period. FML

#3676962
370 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52443) - you deserved it (27239)

On 07/11/2009 at 9:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)



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