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Today, I had to pick my parents up from jail. They thought it would be okay to have sex behind a bush. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40045) - you deserved it (3366)
On 06/20/2011 at 11:57am - intimacy - by Username - United States (Texas)
Today, I was having a nice dream in which a beautiful butterfly flew by me and got stuck in my hair, fluttering its wings against my neck. Then I woke up and realized the "butterfly" stuck in my hair was actually a giant wood roach. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33788) - you deserved it (2427)
On 06/12/2011 at 7:33pm - animals - by Jenievonteese (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I had sex with a juggalo. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12011) - you deserved it (40728)
On 06/06/2011 at 7:20pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, Twilight once again won all the awards at MTV, beating out Inception, Toy Story 3, Harry Potter, etc. This is MY generation. FML
I agree, your life sucks (81025) - you deserved it (7243)
On 06/06/2011 at 2:27am - misc - by KillMeNow (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I finally get to go home after a 16 day training event in Colorado. The plane has been sitting in the runway for over three hours due to lightning storms and we're not allowed to leave. We've spent more time on the ground waiting than the flight itself would take. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19586) - you deserved it (2151)
On 05/27/2011 at 5:13pm - work - by Username - United States
Today, while I was trying to explain to my friend how smoking weed everyday doesn't make you stupid, I forgot what I was talking about mid-sentence. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11375) - you deserved it (64577)
On 05/07/2011 at 11:29am - misc - by BCBUDDY - United States (Florida)
Today, having turned 18, I was eager to show my mother some of the clothes I'd like to purchase with my birthday money. I flipped my laptop open only to realise I had left a "Big Latina Booty gets a fat one" window open. Her howling screams of pleasure echoed through my kitchen. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10589) - you deserved it (50453)
On 05/07/2011 at 2:08am - intimacy - by Anon (man) - United Kingdom (East Sussex)
Today, my mother said she called our internet provider, and told them to cancel it. In rage, I left for a friends house for a couple of hours. When I got home, she told me she was joking, and wanted me out of the house so she could eat all the ice-cream. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12190) - you deserved it (25174)
On 05/04/2011 at 5:11am - misc - by Derps (man) - Denmark (Midtjyllen)
Today, at 11 weeks pregnant, I excitedly told my best friend that my baby now has fingernails. Her response was, "You're beginning to sound like a pro-life bumper sticker." FML
I agree, your life sucks (19194) - you deserved it (14268)
On 05/03/2011 at 11:41am - misc - by CRH (woman) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, I got concussion after a goat ran in front of me while I was jogging. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23112) - you deserved it (2907)
On 04/26/2011 at 11:07pm - health - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I dreamed that I was kidnapped by Charlie Sheen. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26148) - you deserved it (8896)
On 04/24/2011 at 9:10pm - misc - by woahitbechels - United States (Tennessee)
Today, I played Angry Birds for two hours. I got so into the game, I failed to remember that I was sitting on a public toilet. I only realized this when the janitor came to check on me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8911) - you deserved it (36747)
On 04/23/2011 at 9:02pm - animals - by bobo - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my dad set my hair on fire while cooking. He then tried to convince me that it spontaneously combusted. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24052) - you deserved it (2225)
On 04/11/2011 at 11:07pm - health - by ILiveWithMorons (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, a stoned man tried to break into my house. Naked. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31013) - you deserved it (3194)
On 04/10/2011 at 2:05am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I was in the emergency room. The doctor told me that my injuries and back problems are the intensity of those after a car accident. I slipped on a grape. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29481) - you deserved it (4479)
On 04/08/2011 at 6:35am - health - by ridella -
Monday 20 May 2013
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