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looloothing

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looloothing
  • Town/Country : Greeley, Colorado, Unites States
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Sunday 24 November 1991 (22 years)
  • Number of visits : 2390
  • Number of comments : 54
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 23 posted

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looloothing's favorite FMLs

Today, I was casually shopping at Walmart. Everything was normal until the young guy browsing the aisle next to me suddenly approached me and whispered "sperm" into my ear. My spine has never experienced a chill like this one before. FML

#18398754
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27394) - you deserved it (3489)

On 11/30/2011 at 10:11pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend dropped by my work to break up with me. I had to go the rest of my shift with a smile, fighting back tears. I work as the Cinderella at Disney Land. FML

#18358033
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61041) - you deserved it (2880)

On 11/26/2011 at 4:54pm - love - by notsohappilyeverafter - United States (California)

Today, my boss insisted that we get in the holiday mood by putting up lights, playing Christmas music, and wearing bells on our uniforms. It's not even Thanksgiving yet and I can't even have a tinkle without full-blown jingling. FML

#18247729
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17378) - you deserved it (2117)

On 11/14/2011 at 4:53pm - work - by unhappyelf - United States

Today, like every day, I used my phone while taking a dump. As I reached for some toilet paper to wipe myself, my sister pounded on the door for me to hurry up. I yelled "Fine," and without realizing it, wiped myself with my phone. FML

#18239656
303 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13831) - you deserved it (49685)

On 11/13/2011 at 5:46pm - misc - by shootme - Canada

Today, like every day since my birth, my name is Spreme. Yeah, you probably have trouble pronouncing it correctly too. FML

#18227248
461 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36284) - you deserved it (2825) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 11/12/2011 at 10:42am - misc - by Nico - France

Today, my young son wanted to rent some movie with talking animals in it for us to watch together. I couldn't say no, but talking animal movies freak me out big time, I either start to cry or feel nauseous. Especially ones with dogs. What is wrong with me? FML

#18217794
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23296) - you deserved it (7173)

On 11/11/2011 at 10:37am - animals - by Pk45 (man) - United Kingdom (Swansea)

Today, I got mugged by a guy who was threatening me with a stapler. FML

#18191865
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25271) - you deserved it (7677)

On 11/08/2011 at 9:39am - misc - by StaplerScared - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I punched myself in the face while trying to eat a GoGurt. FML

#18112620
309 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22570) - you deserved it (15017)

On 10/30/2011 at 4:15pm - misc - by yum yogurt - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my dad walked in on me masturbating. All I could say was, "Uh I had an itch..." FML

#18100630
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15995) - you deserved it (29444)

On 10/29/2011 at 12:43am - intimacy - by me - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was getting intimate with my husband on our anniversary day. He climbed on top of me and firmly placed his penis on my nose. When I asked him what the hell he was doing, he burst into laughter and said I looked just like Squidward. FML

#18083202
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34139) - you deserved it (3973)

On 10/26/2011 at 7:44pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was getting intimate with my husband on our anniversary day. He climbed on top of me and firmly placed his penis on my nose. When I asked him what the hell he was doing, he burst into laughter and said I looked just like Squidward. FML

#18083202
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34139) - you deserved it (3973)

On 10/26/2011 at 7:44pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my parents got rid of our detachable shower head. Looks like I'm single again. FML

#18070582
304 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23568) - you deserved it (29051)

On 10/25/2011 at 6:15am - intimacy - by sad - Reserved

Today, I ordered food at McDonald's. I'm on crutches, and a guy offered to carry my tray to the table. He rushed out with my food. FML

#18070361
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35203) - you deserved it (3033)

On 10/25/2011 at 4:17am - misc - by myownperson - United States (Colorado)

Today, my car broke down because someone stuck a dildo in the tail pipe. I'd parked in my driveway. FML

#18069827
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27720) - you deserved it (2913)

On 10/25/2011 at 1:58am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, a neo-Nazi stopped me and commented on my blue eyes and blonde hair. He went on to explain that I could be "pure", and should follow him and other Aryans in the campaign to eliminate Jews, and other "abominations". Good thing he didn't see the Star of David necklace around my neck. FML

#18067303
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38525) - you deserved it (2959)

On 10/24/2011 at 9:46pm - misc - by KaySchrages92 (woman) - United States (Ohio)



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