looloothing

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looloothing

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Sunday 24 November 1991 (24 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 5762
  • Number of comments : 54
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 23 posted

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looloothing's page activity

Visits<b>ShroudedKnife</b> - the 06/13/2016 at 2:10pm<b>Addiepop</b> - the 05/21/2016 at 3:24am<b>crudeandrudeguy</b> - the 05/15/2016 at 10:47pm<b>ratman775</b> - the 11/16/2015 at 7:11am<b>hussamhasi</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 10:10pm<b>futureot1</b> - the 06/19/2015 at 7:40pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 03/29/2015 at 9:36am<b>Redskin9999</b> - the 03/25/2015 at 4:04pm<b>Candace7</b> - the 02/25/2015 at 8:40pm<b>jezzilla</b> - the 01/25/2015 at 12:31pm<b>Ohitsariel</b> - the 11/14/2014 at 2:50am<b>Ghosty546</b> - the 07/15/2014 at 1:43am<b>SurfingPichu</b> - the 05/30/2014 at 11:48am<b>kAPISH</b> - the 03/29/2014 at 11:38pm<b>Laidbackmofo</b> - the 03/29/2014 at 12:08pm<b>Your__Stalker</b> - the 03/17/2014 at 1:42am<b>FML_Elle</b> - the 03/16/2014 at 11:02am<b>uks</b> - the 03/16/2014 at 6:51am

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looloothing's favorite FMLs

Today, I was walking at a section of the zoo where you are in the cage, and the monkeys are climbing outside of the cage. I was having a great time until I looked up and one of the monkeys urinated all over my face. Not only did everyone see, but there was no way for me to shower for six hours. FML

by foojew93 / 08/09/2009 at 1:41pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was having sex with my husband. As I was undressing, he said, "Arr, I spy me some booty!" I let it go, I'm used to his embarassing pirate talk. But as he orgasmed, he screamed, "I'VE FOUND THE BURIED TREASURE!" My neighbors heard in the apartment next door and called to let me know. FML

by piratequeen / 08/07/2009 at 1:39pm / United States (Mississippi) / Intimacy

Today, I was sitting on the bus next to a hot guy who was texting. I sneaked a peek at his phone to see if he was texting a girl so I could know if he was single. As I looked at his screen, he turned it towards me and typed in caps "STOP BEING A CREEPER." He got out of his seat and off the bus. FML

by TextLoser / 08/05/2009 at 9:37am / United States (New York) / Transportation

Today, I quit my job after two years. Now I have my crazy boss sitting out in front of my house, telling me she wants to work things out. She has been there all day. FML

by Azcrazy / 08/03/2009 at 1:16pm / United States / Work

Today, I went on a rollercoaster for the first time. I sat in the back, which was a bad idea. When it ended everyone in front of me turned around and stared. When I asked my friend what was going on, she said I had been screaming the Lord's Prayer the whole time. I hadn't even noticed. FML

by whyme_ss / 07/20/2009 at 4:05pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, my friend and I decided to get bikini waxes. Afterwards, the women who did the waxing told my friend it was $30 for her wax. Then, in front of the whole salon, the women points at me and says, "You! You so hairy- $35!". FML

by waxinghorror / 07/11/2009 at 4:11pm / United States (New Jersey) / Health

Today, I called my boyfriend and when he answered, I said the dirtiest thing I could think of to him on the phone. After a long silence, I heard, "Lacey? Is that you?" I accidentally called my dad. FML

by crazyt446 / 07/11/2009 at 11:13am / United States (Georgia) / Intimacy

Today, the dentist sneezed in my mouth. FML

by kewlio45 / 07/01/2009 at 2:33am / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to a yard sale and found a cute plush duck. I sent a pic of it to my friend with the message "Jackpot!" I guess she didn't see the pic because she called me up all excited, thinking my boyfriend of 6 years finally proposed to me. "No, I said, I just found a big duck for $1." FML

by smallmediumatlrg / 06/25/2009 at 3:17pm / United States (Florida) / Love

Today, I got a meat pie for lunch. I bit into it and felt something hard. I spat it out. It was a tooth. I checked my mouth in a panic and discovered, with mixed feelings of relief and horror, that the tooth wasn’t mine. FML

by Toothy_Peg / 06/13/2009 at 11:13am / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was accepted to Harvard's law program. Prestigious right? After hearing the good news the only thing my parents talked about over dinner was who they wanted to win American Idol: Adam, Kris or Danny. FML

by NoComparison / 05/13/2009 at 8:59pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went out to a nice restaurant for my friend's birthday. I went to the bathroom and heard the woman in the other stall crying. She couldn't pull her underwear up over her obese, old-lady ass because her arms don't reach that far anymore. I was the only one there. I had no choice. FML

by bathroomseww / 05/12/2009 at 3:19am / United States (California) / Health

Today, I had my first job interview and didn't have much of an appetite because of the nerves. So I grabbed a brownie that my roommate had left in the fridge and ate it on the train ride in to the city. About 20 minutes into my interview I was so stoned I couldn't speak. FML

by Dunzo15 / 05/02/2009 at 2:28am / United States (New York) / Work

Today, a car was waiting for me to cross the street so I thought it would be funny to slowly limp across the street. When I got to the end, I jumped as high as I could to show I was faking. Turns out I tripped and hit my head hard on the sidewalk. That car took me to the hospital. FML

by funnyguyNOT / 04/05/2009 at 5:39pm / United States / Transportation

Today, a car was waiting for me to cross the street so I thought it would be funny to slowly limp across the street. When I got to the end, I jumped as high as I could to show I was faking. Turns out I tripped and hit my head hard on the sidewalk. That car took me to the hospital. FML

by funnyguyNOT / 04/05/2009 at 5:39pm / United States / Transportation