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looloothing's favorite FMLs
Today, my mom and I were going to the store. I decided to stay in the car while she went in. In the car next to me, there was a dog in the driver's seat barking at me. Bored, I barked back at it until I realized there was someone in the passenger's seat watching me. FML
by ApolloandDixie / 12/23/2009 at 1:17am / United States (North Carolina) / Transportation
by funyfunkid / 12/22/2009 at 2:18pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, after having a shower, I walked back into my room butt naked. As I looked up I saw the window cleaner staring right at me. I looked. He looked. And without thinking I dropped straight to the floor to hid myself, then realized my naked butt was still staring right at him. FML
by Anonymous / 12/10/2009 at 2:51pm / United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire) / Intimacy
Today, I finally got a hold of my husband who I haven't actually talked to in 2 and 1/2 weeks since he is deployed and it's hard to chat. He told me he couldn't talk because he was in an epic battle, in Call of Duty. FML
by Dejected / 12/07/2009 at 2:16pm / United States (California) / Love
by CH / 12/07/2009 at 1:06am / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous
by errrmkl46 / 12/02/2009 at 1:25am / United States (Arizona) / Miscellaneous
Today, I woke up feeling awesome. I turned to face the sunrise in the window, and as I stretched and let out a big yawn. Only for my boyfriend to say "Baby, turn back over. Your breath smells like turds." FML
by lol smiley face / 11/28/2009 at 10:57am / United States / Love
by bmonehh / 11/24/2009 at 3:20pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
Today, I was at a party where I ate a bowl of disgusting snacks because I didn't want to drink on an empty stomach. I spent the next twelve hours trying to prevent the world from collapsing into millions of demonic shards, cause apparently that's what a large dose of magic mushrooms does. FML
by swedishdude / 11/14/2009 at 8:37am / Sweden (Skane Lan) / Miscellaneous
by JJ / 11/13/2009 at 10:07pm / Canada (Alberta) / Love
by Anonymous / 10/22/2009 at 8:15pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous
Today, while working as a plain clothes police officer, I witnessed a fight in a front yard. My partner and I intervened and clearly identified ourselves as police. Unfortunately, the two guys' mother didn't have her hearing aid in, and hit my arm with a baseball bat. FML
by Undercover / 10/12/2009 at 4:38am / United States (New York) / Work
by Anonymous / 10/03/2009 at 9:03pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy
Today, we had a lockdown in our school for 2 hours because a man was sitting outside our school in his car with a gun in hand. I texted my mom telling her what was going on and that it's on the news. She responded saying "I'll tape it". FML
by dannyboy1422 / 10/02/2009 at 3:17pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
by P0wned / 09/29/2009 at 5:21pm / France (Bretagne) / Love
- 1Today, I took a test. I got up to turn it in, and accidentally bumped into another student. We both… 2Today, I tried to fire the worst worker I've ever had over the phone because he never shows up for… 3Today my mom, bored lover of games and mysteries, bragged about outsmarting scammers by burning all…