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Today, I learned a little lesson about consequences. Yesterday, I ate a quarter as a dare. Today, I tried to poop it out. It got stuck coming out. I had to go to the doctor and explain everything. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3933) - you deserved it (32335)
On 02/21/2010 at 2:34pm - misc - by anna14 - United States (Tennessee)
Today, I found out that whilst I was asleep last night, my boyfriend was playing on his XBox. I also found out that whenever he unlocked a new level, achievement or just generally beat someone's ass, he would celebrate by pulling out one of his pubes and putting it in my mouth. FML
I agree, your life sucks (88178) - you deserved it (9132)
On 02/01/2010 at 5:23am - misc - by doesnttastegood (woman) - United Kingdom (Bath and North East Somerset)
Today, my boyfriend admitted that he'd like to dress me in a squirrel suit and chase me through the forest. This was the surprising result of a discussion on how to spice up our love life. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20060) - you deserved it (3290)
On 01/31/2010 at 7:24pm - love - by JK (man) - United States (California)
Today, my boyfriend kept trying to convince me to do anal with him. After denying him several times he told me "Why it feels good, trust me." I asked him how would he know. There was a long awkward silence when he then replied with "I'm not gay I swear." FML
I agree, your life sucks (23060) - you deserved it (3235)
On 01/25/2010 at 3:47am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maryland)
Today, I was hooking up with a guy I just met. Things were getting hot and heavy and he asked me if I had a condom. I said no, and to which he replied "that's okay, we can just use a sock" and pulled his sock off of his left foot. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19177) - you deserved it (3830)
On 01/20/2010 at 1:17am - intimacy - by ilovesocks (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I learned that when you put duct tape over your mouth because you are bored, it really hurts taking it off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3013) - you deserved it (48133)
On 01/17/2010 at 12:25am - misc - by ow (woman) - United States (Oregon)
Today, I locked myself, drunk and naked, out of my hotel room. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5152) - you deserved it (25742)
On 01/13/2010 at 9:04pm - misc - by nekkiddrunk - United States
Today, I made a fake MySpace so that I could flirt with my Boyfriend and see what he would do. He ended up dumping me for the fake MySpace girl. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11016) - you deserved it (34556)
On 01/12/2010 at 7:03pm - love - by BetterThanFake (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I found out that last summer while my girlfriend worked on a Disney Cruise ship, she cheated on me with Tarzan. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27115) - you deserved it (1957)
On 01/10/2010 at 4:47pm - misc - by daragnan (man) - United States
Today, I got on a treadmill for the first time. I was running at a very high speed. I needed a break but didn't know how to get off. I decided to just let the machine take me to the edge so I could get off. I was thrown off the treadmill and landed with my happy sacks crashing into a dumbbell. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4825) - you deserved it (26435)
On 01/09/2010 at 5:17am - health - by King7 (man) - Pakistan (Sindh)
Today, I was at work and I had to take a dump. Since I was the only person in the bathroom, I started singing, "I'm taking a poopy-poop poop poop poop." I was not the only person in the bathroom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6027) - you deserved it (43508)
On 12/31/2009 at 3:06am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I was at work and I had to take a dump. Since I was the only person in the bathroom, I started singing, "I'm taking a poopy-poop poop poop poop." I was not the only person in the bathroom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6027) - you deserved it (43508)
On 12/31/2009 at 3:06am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I woke up to my whole room ruined, it was a mess and everything was torn and chewed up. I suddenly see a dog walk across the hall. I don't have a dog. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23035) - you deserved it (1721)
On 12/28/2009 at 10:43pm - animals - by DOGSNACHER (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I had one more gift to buy: a copy of Fight Club. I asked a person working at Best Buy if they had any in stock. The man wouldn't sell me the last copy because I had broken the first two rules. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20912) - you deserved it (9433)
On 12/24/2009 at 3:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, my mom and I were going to the store. I decided to stay in the car while she went in. In the car next to me, there was a dog in the driver's seat barking at me. Bored, I barked back at it until I realized there was someone in the passenger's seat watching me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5890) - you deserved it (22072)
On 12/23/2009 at 1:17am - animals - by ApolloandDixie (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Friday 24 May 2013
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