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looloothing's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 08/03/2010 at 2:17am / United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire) / Work
by tstaeger / 07/24/2010 at 1:20am / United States (Oregon) / Health
Today, I learned that dirty talk does NOT get me off. My boyfriend and I were having sex and I said "I'm going to come" during the beginning of my orgasm. My orgasm immediately stopped right after I said that. I turned myself off. FML
by Anonymous / 06/17/2010 at 6:56pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Intimacy
by Allie / 06/03/2010 at 2:58pm / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy
Today, while out with my boyfriend I accidentally let out a rather large fart. I was in such shock the only sentence I could make was "I farted." Clearly he was in shock too because the only words he could utter were "I know." FML
by Oops / 05/23/2010 at 5:21am / Australia (Queensland) / Love
by Anonymous / 05/19/2010 at 1:05am / United States (California) / Love
Today, I walked in on my boyfriend saying, "I shall be the prince, and you shall be the princess," to his hamster. Once he saw me, he quickly turned to the hamster and said, "I have to go. The dragon is here." FML
by Cheese4men / 05/14/2010 at 7:28pm / Canada (Alberta) / Love
Today, the satellite radio at work went on the fritz, playing one song over and over. Management wouldn't turn it off, though, because then customers would miss out on all those upcoming-sale announcements that run intermittently. Meanwhile, I got to listen to "Footloose" for eight hours. FML
by PunchingKennyLoggins / 03/15/2010 at 9:33am / United States (Texas) / Work
by Anonymous / 03/14/2010 at 3:54am / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, I woke up crying in the middle of a nightmare in which my boyfriend of 8 months shot me through the heart whilst laughing as I screamed 'I Love You'. After I told him about this, he took me into his arms as I cried, stroked my back and said, 'What kind of gun was it?' FML
by justlittleoldme / 03/12/2010 at 8:17am / United Kingdom (Surrey) / Love
by ugh / 03/12/2010 at 1:05am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I thought a pipe was going to burst in my shower because it was making such a loud rumbling so I called my boyfriend freaking out telling him I didnt know what to do. After taking a second to look a little harder, I realized it was my vibrating razor against the shower wall. FML
by Anonymous / 03/11/2010 at 9:04pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous
Today, while in a public restroom, a man entered the stall next to me and began vigorously wanking. He finished quickly, but as he was leaving he peeped in at me through the crack in the stall door. FML
by ThoroughlyCreepedOut / 03/06/2010 at 7:22pm / United States (Kentucky) / Intimacy
by UnfortunateGirly / 02/26/2010 at 3:30am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was brushing my teeth when I felt a lump of something in the corner of my mouth. Naturally assuming it would be a bit of food that my toothbrush had dislodged, I spat it out into the sink. It was a woodlouse. FML
by puzzled / 02/24/2010 at 7:58am / United Kingdom (Worcestershire) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I… 2Today, after working for Uber for a few weeks I realized that my driver rating was dropping. After… 3Today, I moved three hours away from my boyfriend for college. Even though he got accepted to the…