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Today, I start work in an office, with my mother. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20129) - you deserved it (8763)
On 08/03/2010 at 2:17am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire)
Today, I tried drinking "Smart Water" for the first time. I couldn't figure out how to open the bottle. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7907) - you deserved it (23674)
On 07/24/2010 at 1:20am - misc - by tstaeger (man) - United States (Oregon)
Today, I learned that dirty talk does NOT get me off. My boyfriend and I were having sex and I said "I'm going to come" during the beginning of my orgasm. My orgasm immediately stopped right after I said that. I turned myself off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27162) - you deserved it (11309)
On 06/17/2010 at 6:56pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, I was texting my crush. I tried to say, "I need a nap," but my iPhone changed it to "I need anal." I sent it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38381) - you deserved it (19508)
On 06/03/2010 at 2:58pm - intimacy - by Allie - United States (Illinois)
Today, while out with my boyfriend I accidentally let out a rather large fart. I was in such shock the only sentence I could make was "I farted." Clearly he was in shock too because the only words he could utter were "I know." FML
I agree, your life sucks (13913) - you deserved it (18557)
On 05/23/2010 at 5:21am - misc - by Oops (woman) - Australia (Queensland)
Today, I found out my boyfriend's mom still refers to his ex as 'the daughter she never had.' FML
I agree, your life sucks (24064) - you deserved it (2396)
On 05/19/2010 at 1:05am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I walked in on my boyfriend saying, "I shall be the prince, and you shall be the princess," to his hamster. Once he saw me, he quickly turned to the hamster and said, "I have to go. The dragon is here." FML
I agree, your life sucks (37371) - you deserved it (6279)
On 05/14/2010 at 7:28pm - love - by Cheese4men - Canada (Alberta)
Today, the satellite radio at work went on the fritz, playing one song over and over. Management wouldn't turn it off, though, because then customers would miss out on all those upcoming-sale announcements that run intermittently. Meanwhile, I got to listen to "Footloose" for eight hours. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19224) - you deserved it (1545)
On 03/15/2010 at 9:33am - work - by PunchingKennyLoggins (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I was in bed with my boyfriend, in the middle of foreplay, and somehow out of my mouth came, "I want to be inside you." I'm a woman. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15986) - you deserved it (8166)
On 03/14/2010 at 3:54am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I woke up crying in the middle of a nightmare in which my boyfriend of 8 months shot me through the heart whilst laughing as I screamed 'I Love You'. After I told him about this, he took me into his arms as I cried, stroked my back and said, 'What kind of gun was it?' FML
I agree, your life sucks (22724) - you deserved it (5100)
On 03/12/2010 at 8:17am - love - by justlittleoldme (woman) - United Kingdom (Surrey)
Today, I got home early from work. When I got home I got to see my dad chasing my mom around the house, naked. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23364) - you deserved it (2594)
On 03/12/2010 at 1:05am - misc - by ugh - United States
Today, I thought a pipe was going to burst in my shower because it was making such a loud rumbling so I called my boyfriend freaking out telling him I didnt know what to do. After taking a second to look a little harder, I realized it was my vibrating razor against the shower wall. FML
I agree, your life sucks (2793) - you deserved it (15536)
On 03/11/2010 at 9:04pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, my friends decided it would be funny to yell out "Pass us the bong, Emma!" while I was on the phone to my mother. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17108) - you deserved it (4328)
On 02/26/2010 at 3:30am - misc - by UnfortunateGirly (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I was brushing my teeth when I felt a lump of something in the corner of my mouth. Naturally assuming it would be a bit of food that my toothbrush had dislodged, I spat it out into the sink. It was a woodlouse. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21990) - you deserved it (2061)
On 02/24/2010 at 7:58am - misc - by puzzled (woman) - United Kingdom (Worcestershire)
Today, I was working at Publix ringing up some 70 year old woman. She says "Man, you're a fast cashier, I like my men fast!" and then gives me a wink. I got really nervous and didn't know how to respond, so not thinking, I quickly said, "Yeah, me too." FML
I agree, your life sucks (18562) - you deserved it (5196)
On 02/22/2010 at 8:29pm - work - by Patrick (man) - United States (Florida)
Monday 20 May 2013
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