looloothing

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looloothing

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Sunday 24 November 1991 (24 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 5281
  • Number of comments : 54
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 23 posted

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looloothing's page activity

Visits<b>ShroudedKnife</b> - the 06/13/2016 at 2:10pm<b>Addiepop</b> - the 05/21/2016 at 3:24am<b>crudeandrudeguy</b> - the 05/15/2016 at 10:47pm<b>ratman775</b> - the 11/16/2015 at 7:11am<b>hussamhasi</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 10:10pm<b>futureot1</b> - the 06/19/2015 at 7:40pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 03/29/2015 at 9:36am<b>Redskin9999</b> - the 03/25/2015 at 4:04pm<b>Candace7</b> - the 02/25/2015 at 8:40pm<b>jezzilla</b> - the 01/25/2015 at 12:31pm<b>Ohitsariel</b> - the 11/14/2014 at 2:50am<b>Ghosty546</b> - the 07/15/2014 at 1:43am<b>SurfingPichu</b> - the 05/30/2014 at 11:48am<b>kAPISH</b> - the 03/29/2014 at 11:38pm<b>Laidbackmofo</b> - the 03/29/2014 at 12:08pm<b>Your__Stalker</b> - the 03/17/2014 at 1:42am<b>FML_Elle</b> - the 03/16/2014 at 11:02am<b>uks</b> - the 03/16/2014 at 6:51am

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looloothing's favorite FMLs

Today, I took an extra xanax to help with my anxiety, then went to sleep. I guess it was probably too much, because I woke up a few hours later, freaking out and panicking because I was convinced I was a bee trapped in a human body. FML

by beemove / 12/28/2013 at 4:19pm / United States (Washington) / Health

Today, feeling lonely after my recent breakup, I put on my nicest clothes and went out clubbing with a few friends. I brought a guy back to my place, and we got intimate. It was going well, until he took off my push-up bra, then panicked and drunkenly asked, "Where'd they go?!" FML

by chase / 01/24/2013 at 7:54pm / New Zealand (Auckland) / Intimacy

Today, I took my child to the park. Having been there an hour, another mum came up to me and we started talking. She then told me that one kid had been harassing her children, pointing to my child. When she asked which one was mine I pointed to a random kid. It was hers. FML

by Anonymous / 12/23/2012 at 10:02am / Australia / Kids

Today, at a Christmas party, my crush came up to me and cutely pointed out that I was standing under mistletoe. The only response my stupid brain could think of was, "Probably full of nargles though." He gave me a confused look and walked away. FML

by Rhine / 12/16/2012 at 6:51pm / Barbados (Saint Michael) / Love

Today, it was my first day at my new job at a nursing home. Not only were we short staffed, two residents passed away, and I got beaten up by an old man. FML

by Anonymous / 12/15/2012 at 7:46pm / United States (Michigan) / Work

Today, my brother paid the DJ $300 to ruin my wedding by playing the Imperial Death March as I walked down the aisle. FML

by Anonymous / 12/15/2012 at 3:52am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, after two weeks of being grounded, I was finally let out of the house by my mom. I had to call her at 1am asking her to come get me, because I got so drunk, I told my ride to leave without me. I'm grounded again after less than a day of freedom. FML

Today, I was riding the train and someone farted. Everyone looked at me. People always blame farts on the fat guy. FML

by Banana / 12/04/2012 at 11:04am / Puerto Rico / Transportation

Today, I was out clubbing, when I saw a pair of very cute girls sitting at the bar, so I went over, hoping to introduce myself. I swung my leg over the stool, and through no fault of my own, sat on my own balls. I quickly got thrown out for "harassing the ladies." FML

by Anonymous / 11/30/2012 at 7:31pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to see a movie with three of my friends, and I was sharing popcorn with one of them. Halfway through the movie, my friend asked me why I wasn't eating our popcorn. I then realised I'd been taking popcorn from the man sitting next to me. FML

by mm / 11/12/2012 at 12:27pm / United Kingdom (Warrington) / Miscellaneous

Today, due to a health insurance mix up, my schizophrenic girlfriend has been off her meds for a little over a week. She's convinced I can read her mind, and if I don't stop "pretending" she'll slit my throat in my sleep. Her medication won't be available for at least another two weeks. FML

Today, my boyfriend and I got intimate with each other for the first time. He shoved his hand down my pants, touched about an inch away from my clitoris, and whispered "cummm" in my ear. I doubt I'll have an orgasm ever again. FML

by Anonymous / 11/03/2012 at 2:02pm / Australia (Western Australia) / Intimacy

Today, my daughter called me telling me she had her twin girls. She named them Juli and Anne. Her name is Julianne. Her kids are going to fucking hate her. FML

by poorkids / 10/31/2012 at 1:01am / United States (Washington) / Kids

Today, I was stuck in the bathroom yelling for someone to get me toilet paper. My grandpa slips a small leaf under the door and says, "This is what I used in my day." FML

by Obi1Shinobi / 10/30/2012 at 10:27am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my family and I are sitting in our house while Hurricane Sandy is going on. My grandma is freaking out because she believes it's our recently deceased dog Sandy getting revenge for putting her to sleep and getting a new dog. FML

by With_Love929 / 10/29/2012 at 5:45pm / United States (New York) / Animals