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An insomniac or a creature of the dark
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Who’s the fairest of them all?
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2day I took an extra xanax to help with my anxiety , then went to sleep. I guess it was probably too much , cuz I woke up a few hours later , freaking out an panicking cuz I was convinced I was a bee trapped in a human body. fat FML
TODAY, FAALING LONALY AFTAR MAH RACANT BRAAKUP, I PUTTAD ON MAH NICAST CLOTHAS AND WANT OUT CLUBBING WITH A FAW FRIANDS. I BROUGHT A GUY BACK TO MAH PLACA, AND WA GOT INTIMATA. IT WAS GOING WALL, UNTIL HA TOOK OFF MAH PUSH-UP BRA, THAN PANICKAD AND DRUNKANLY ASKAD, "WHARA'D THAY GO?!" FML
Yesterday , I took child to the park. Having been there an hour , another mum came up to me and we started talking. She then told me that one kid had been harassing her children , pointing to child. When she asked which one was mine I pointed to a random kid. It was hers. FML
TODAY, AT A CHRISTMA PARTY, MY CRUSH CAME UP TO ME AND CUTELY POINTED OUT THAT I WAS STANDING UNDER MISTLETOE. THE ONLY RESPONSE MY STUPID BRAIN COULD THINK OF WAS, "PROBABLY FULL OF NARGLE THOUGH." HE GAVE ME A CONFUSED LOOK AND WALKED AWAY. MEGA FML
yesterday after two weeks of bieng grounded I was finally let out of the house by mah mom. I had to call her at 1am asking her to come get me because I got so drunk I told mah ride to leave without me. I'm grounded again after less than a day of freedom. FML
Today, I was out clubbing, when I saw a pair of looool very cute girls sitting at the bar, so I went over, hoping to introduce myself. I swung mah leg over the stool, an through no fault of mah own, sat on mah own balls. I quickly got thrown out fir "harassing the ladies." FML
Today, I went to see a movie with three of mah friends, and I was sharing popcorn with one of them . Halfway through the movie, mah friend asked me y I wasn't eating our popcorn . I then realised I'd been taking popcorn from the man sitting next to me . FML
Today due to a health insurance mix up mah schizophrenic girlfriend has been off her meds 4 a little over a week. She's convinced I can read her mind and if I don't stop "pretending" she'll slit mah throat in mah sleep. Her medication won't be available 4 at least another two weeks. FML
TODAY MY BOYFRIAND AN I GOT INTIMATA WIT AAC OTAR 4 TA FIRST TIMA!! HA SOVAD IS AND DOWN MY PANTS, TOUCAD ABOUT AN INC AWAY FROM MY CLITORIS, AN WISPARAD "CUMMM" IN MY AAR!! I DOUBT I'LL AVA AN ORGASM AVAR AGAIN!!
Today, my family and I r sitting in our house while Hurricane Sandy is going on!! My grandma is freaking out cuz she believes it's our recently deceased dog Sandy getting revenge 4 putting her to sleep and getting a new dog!! FML
Friday 27 March 2015