Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

looloothing

Search for a member

looloothing

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Sunday 24 November 1991 (22 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2822
  • Number of comments : 54
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 23 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

looloothing's page activity

Visits<b>Ghosty546</b> - the 07/15/2014 at 1:43am<b>SurfingPichu</b> - the 05/30/2014 at 11:48am<b>kAPISH</b> - the 03/29/2014 at 11:38pm<b>Laidbackmofo</b> - the 03/29/2014 at 12:08pm<b>Your__Stalker</b> - the 03/17/2014 at 1:42am<b>FML_Elle</b> - the 03/16/2014 at 11:02am<b>uks</b> - the 03/16/2014 at 6:51am<b>king_of_LA</b> - the 02/22/2014 at 12:04am<b>WockaFloctapus</b> - the 12/29/2013 at 11:53pm<b>NOMORENAMES</b> - the 11/22/2013 at 12:44am<b>sadiegirl17</b> - the 10/21/2013 at 6:42pm<b>MikaykayUnicorn</b> - the 10/01/2013 at 5:49pm<b>kenziejs</b> - the 09/29/2013 at 11:24am<b>AllStarGal24</b> - the 09/24/2013 at 1:23am<b>goawayy</b> - the 09/22/2013 at 9:04am<b>armorman86</b> - the 07/28/2013 at 11:16pm<b>bugs26</b> - the 07/23/2013 at 6:35pm<b>lectricpharaoh</b> - the 01/19/2013 at 8:04pm

looloothing's FML badges

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of looloothing's badges

looloothing's favorite FMLs

Today, I took an extra xanax to help with my anxiety, then went to sleep. I guess it was probably too much, because I woke up a few hours later, freaking out and panicking because I was convinced I was a bee trapped in a human body. FML

#21008430
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40225) - you deserved it (9578)

On 12/28/2013 at 4:19pm - health - by beemove (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, feeling lonely after my recent breakup, I put on my nicest clothes and went out clubbing with a few friends. I brought a guy back to my place, and we got intimate. It was going well, until he took off my push-up bra, then panicked and drunkenly asked, "Where'd they go?!" FML

#20477055
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24982) - you deserved it (48039)

On 01/24/2013 at 7:54pm - intimacy - by chase (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I took my child to the park. Having been there an hour, another mum came up to me and we started talking. She then told me that one kid had been harassing her children, pointing to my child. When she asked which one was mine I pointed to a random kid. It was hers. FML

#20415890
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16026) - you deserved it (45556)

On 12/23/2012 at 10:02am - kids - by Anonymous - Australia

Today, at a Christmas party, my crush came up to me and cutely pointed out that I was standing under mistletoe. The only response my stupid brain could think of was, "Probably full of nargles though." He gave me a confused look and walked away. FML

#20402533
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27041) - you deserved it (12822)

On 12/16/2012 at 6:51pm - love - by Rhine (woman) - Barbados (Saint Michael)

Today, it was my first day at my new job at a nursing home. Not only were we short staffed, two residents passed away, and I got beaten up by an old man. FML

#20401181
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24332) - you deserved it (2142)

On 12/15/2012 at 7:46pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, after two weeks of being grounded, I was finally let out of the house by my mom. I had to call her at 1am asking her to come get me, because I got so drunk, I told my ride to leave without me. I'm grounded again after less than a day of freedom. FML

Today, I was riding the train and someone farted. Everyone looked at me. People always blame farts on the fat guy. FML

#20190789
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28241) - you deserved it (6111)

On 12/04/2012 at 11:04am - misc - by Banana (man) - Puerto Rico

Today, I was out clubbing, when I saw a pair of very cute girls sitting at the bar, so I went over, hoping to introduce myself. I swung my leg over the stool, and through no fault of my own, sat on my own balls. I quickly got thrown out for "harassing the ladies." FML

#20185753
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7087) - you deserved it (17145)

On 11/30/2012 at 7:31pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I went to see a movie with three of my friends, and I was sharing popcorn with one of them. Halfway through the movie, my friend asked me why I wasn't eating our popcorn. I then realised I'd been taking popcorn from the man sitting next to me. FML

#20160393
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25132) - you deserved it (7528)

On 11/12/2012 at 12:27pm - misc - by mm (woman) - United Kingdom (Warrington)

Today, due to a health insurance mix up, my schizophrenic girlfriend has been off her meds for a little over a week. She's convinced I can read her mind, and if I don't stop "pretending" she'll slit my throat in my sleep. Her medication won't be available for at least another two weeks. FML

#20159457
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23573) - you deserved it (2227)

On 11/11/2012 at 7:50pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I got intimate with each other for the first time. He shoved his hand down my pants, touched about an inch away from my clitoris, and whispered "cummm" in my ear. I doubt I'll have an orgasm ever again. FML

#20145795
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33419) - you deserved it (3518)

On 11/03/2012 at 2:02pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, my daughter called me telling me she had her twin girls. She named them Juli and Anne. Her name is Julianne. Her kids are going to fucking hate her. FML

#20141194
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30761) - you deserved it (3423)

On 10/31/2012 at 1:01am - kids - by poorkids (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was stuck in the bathroom yelling for someone to get me toilet paper. My grandpa slips a small leaf under the door and says, "This is what I used in my day." FML

#20140057
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22687) - you deserved it (4064)

On 10/30/2012 at 10:27am - misc - by Obi1Shinobi - United States

Today, my family and I are sitting in our house while Hurricane Sandy is going on. My grandma is freaking out because she believes it's our recently deceased dog Sandy getting revenge for putting her to sleep and getting a new dog. FML

#20138973
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25863) - you deserved it (2317)

On 10/29/2012 at 5:45pm - animals - by With_Love929 - United States (New York)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: