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lonlywalrus

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lonlywalrus

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  • Number of visits : 24
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

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lonlywalrus's favorite FMLs

Today, I was at my in-laws' house, and as I was walking to the living room I had my hands on the back of my hips supporting my back. My mother-in-law told me to stop because it makes me look pregnant. I'm 9 months pregnant. FML

#20912417
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47584) - you deserved it (2846)

On 10/08/2013 at 12:30pm - misc - by she knows - United States (Hawaii)

Today, my 7-year-old son proudly announced that he had laid an egg during the night. I checked. He'd simply shat the bed. FML

#20835170
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47937) - you deserved it (3792) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 08/13/2013 at 4:49am - kids - by Anonymous - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was lifeguarding a pool party for a bunch of eight year olds. One of them decided it'd be funny to have a contest to see who could make the most bubbles with their farts. It led to three kids shitting themselves in the pool, and me having the dubious honor of cleaning it up. FML

#20823903
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57638) - you deserved it (4392)

On 08/06/2013 at 2:07pm - kids - by benjo - United States

Today, my girlfriend kicked me out for bringing up the idea of her maybe giving me a blowjob someday. According to her, it's "demeaning" and "sick". She doesn't seem to have a problem always making me go down on her for ages as a condition for having sex with me, though. FML

#20754518
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56392) - you deserved it (9074)

On 06/29/2013 at 3:58pm - intimacy - by patriarchal apparently (man) - Saint Lucia



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