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longsweetminute

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longsweetminute

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longsweetminute's favorite FMLs

Today, my best friend who I've known since high school is getting married. I'm supposed to give a toast during the reception about how great the bride and groom are. I've been sleeping with the groom for the past 7 months. FML

#12294723
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10452) - you deserved it (128924)

On 08/03/2010 at 7:54pm - intimacy - by Emily (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, my best friend who I've known since high school is getting married. I'm supposed to give a toast during the reception about how great the bride and groom are. I've been sleeping with the groom for the past 7 months. FML

#12294723
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10452) - you deserved it (128924)

On 08/03/2010 at 7:54pm - intimacy - by Emily (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, was parent appreciation day at my daughter's KG class. On the stage, each child was asked to define each parent in one word. When it was my daughter's turn, she looked at me hard, thinking. Finally, in the end she said, "My daddy is very fat." Everybody stared. FML

#10717478
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25563) - you deserved it (7140)

On 05/23/2010 at 7:00pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was eating pizza with my boyfriend and my friends. I was laughing and talking and went for another piece when my boyfriend grabbed my wrist and said that I had had enough. My friends all backed him up. FML

#10559209
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35031) - you deserved it (9577)

On 05/16/2010 at 12:08am - health - by fatgirl - United States

Today, I had just finished riding my bike when I ran into the girl I am secretly in love with. While I walked over to her I got an erection through my spandex biking shorts. FML

#8730305
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20492) - you deserved it (9434)

On 02/28/2010 at 9:15pm - intimacy - by hornyloser770 - Sent from mobile version

Today, on Facebook, I joined a group called "I want our relationship to last." My boyfriend commented "I don't." FML

#8586322
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29184) - you deserved it (5894)

On 02/23/2010 at 11:28am - love - by kal (woman) - United Kingdom (East Sussex)

Today, I laughed so hard my milk went out my nose in front of the boy I liked. Then, since I was laughing so hard about that, I accidentally farted. FML

#7901856
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33180) - you deserved it (7763)

On 02/05/2010 at 8:44am - misc - by hisgirl4life (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I got a ticket. The officer's daughter is my ex. He gave me a ticket for 31 in a 30 mph zone. FML

#7803637
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34381) - you deserved it (4993)

On 02/02/2010 at 12:47am - misc - by anoynomous - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was in the car with my cousin and we saw a family of three. They where all really fat and the lady was holding 2 boxes of pizza. I decided to roll down the window and scream "fatasses" as loud as I could while my cousin drove off. They were going to the same house we were. FML

#7732891
398 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6213) - you deserved it (83098)

On 01/31/2010 at 2:03am - misc - by lauris1306 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I almost crashed my car because I was checking out an Old Navy mannequin wearing a bra. FML

#7313785
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5813) - you deserved it (44522)

On 01/13/2010 at 1:31am - misc - by Creepster (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I found out that last summer while my girlfriend worked on a Disney Cruise ship, she cheated on me with Tarzan. FML

#7261053
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33865) - you deserved it (2652)

On 01/10/2010 at 4:47pm - misc - by daragnan (man) - United States

Today, I had the sudden urge to sneeze as I was wiping my ass. Out of instinct, I used my hand to cover my mouth. I never let go of the toilet paper. FML

#7217520
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25458) - you deserved it (32483)

On 01/08/2010 at 1:48pm - misc - by Hugh_Jankles (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my pet hedgehog thought it would be funny to roll around in the kitty litter. It was like washing a poopy cactus. FML

Today, I rejected my wife for sex. She then started to masturbate next to me. I got an erection. She then rejected me for sex. FML

#6927698
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6588) - you deserved it (72130)

On 12/24/2009 at 8:10pm - intimacy - by paidback - United States



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