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longsweetminute

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longsweetminute
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  • Number of visits : 292
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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longsweetminute's favorite FMLs

Today, I started my job as a high school janitor. A student decided to welcome me by taking a dump in the urinal. FML

#15178043
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32561) - you deserved it (3893)

On 03/02/2011 at 7:35pm - work - by Worstjob (man) - United States (Idaho)

Today, my girlfriend said "It's funny how every time we have sex I'm wearing these panties." We've been having sex every day for the last six days. FML

#15002281
252 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40593) - you deserved it (5119)

On 02/16/2011 at 12:51pm - intimacy - by Lovenem (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I was attacked by clowns at work. I don't work at the circus. FML

#14894865
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26643) - you deserved it (3117)

On 02/08/2011 at 11:27am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I saw my mom run across the house naked for a condom. FML

#14849779
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48498) - you deserved it (3573)

On 02/05/2011 at 7:02am - misc - by bob - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was getting it on with my boyfriend. I started to come, screaming, "Ah... ah... ah... AHH!" To which he added, "Staying alive! Staying alive!" FML

#14608705
242 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28334) - you deserved it (18981) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/17/2011 at 1:24am - intimacy - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins

Today, I was on my way to work behind a very slow car. At a red light, the lady came over and punched me in the face for following her too closely. We are coworkers and our desks are next to each other. FML

#14552210
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23658) - you deserved it (3530)

On 01/12/2011 at 8:28am - misc - by will3000 -

Today, I realized that every day without fail, the muffins I've been making and giving to my husband for work have been hitting speeding cars' windshields. FML

#14344893
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18601) - you deserved it (3456)

On 12/26/2010 at 10:47am - misc - by muffdriver (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, when I got home, I went into my room to find a Bratz doll and a Ken doll laying naked, on top of each other on my bed. Attached to them was a note that stated, "Please, use your imagination and find other ways besides porn to get excited. The computer keeps getting viruses. Love, Mom." FML

#13927798
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14246) - you deserved it (37887)

On 11/21/2010 at 6:43pm - intimacy - by sydysyd (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I noticed that my wife changed her status on Facebook to "widow" and a lot of strange guys commented saying stuff like "Finally." Last I checked, I'm not dead. FML

#13352571
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39238) - you deserved it (2651)

On 10/07/2010 at 6:10am - love - by Alex - United States (Connecticut)

Today, while I was going down on my girlfriend, she fell asleep. She said she was too tired to fake it. FML

#13295050
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22124) - you deserved it (6789)

On 10/02/2010 at 9:34pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend dumped me because 'I look like his hamster when I'm eating sunflower seeds.' FML

#13285229
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23146) - you deserved it (4165)

On 10/02/2010 at 2:28am - love - by ohman - Singapore

Today, my mom was going through the newspaper and cutting out coupons for me to use. She hands me two of them, one for tampons and the other for a pregnancy test saying "well, you're gonna need one or the other this month." FML

#13083342
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19214) - you deserved it (6246)

On 09/17/2010 at 4:19am - misc - by anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, I got circumcised. After the surgery, my girlfriend got drunk and texted all of her friends about it. FML

#12969357
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23990) - you deserved it (4914)

On 09/08/2010 at 10:15pm - health - by Chester (Seattle) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was at my boyfriend's house waiting for him to get out of the shower. Bored, I sent my friend a picture of myself pretending to make out with his bear rug. After the photo shoot, I looked in the doorway to find his dad staring at me. FML

#12908327
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7701) - you deserved it (27899)

On 09/04/2010 at 10:22pm - misc - by jentea (woman) - Canada (Newfoundland and Labrador)

Today, I walked in on my mom giving my dad head. Acting like I hadn't seen anything, I asked if I could use a towel sitting on the dresser. My mom said, "No, we're going to need that one." FML

#12803986
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25532) - you deserved it (5183)

On 08/29/2010 at 11:37am - intimacy - by bkay26 - United States (Georgia)



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